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This is the archive for September 2006

Under the Tarp: Accumulated Wrestling Crud vol. 1

Y’know, posting one post per wrestling news story would probably be nice--and what Ron is wanting from me--but given the copious amounts of time I choose to waste on other projects (or no projects at all), I’m finding that collecting all the hottest stories from the wacky world of wrestling into one nifty, easy to read post works better for my schedule. I’m sure if Mr. Sports Nazi has a problem with it, he’ll let me know, and this will be the only volume of what I’m hoping will be a weekly feature. Either way, enjoy this one while you can, because you never know what the future holds. I mean, you could die tomorrow--or even worse, I could die tomorrow.

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Christian Wrestling Doesn't Pay, so Russo Heads Back to TNA

It may not be that big of a deal to some, but whenever the infamous "Vic Venom" is allowed to book anywhere, my interest is immediately piqued. Considering the roller coaster career Vince Russo has had, having held the main booking position in each of the major three promotions in the last ten years (WWE, WCW, and TNA -- I'm not counting ECW here), I'm shocked anybody in the "sports entertainment" world would shake this guys hand, let alone give him any kind of control. Let's just look at his history as a booker...

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The Vince McMahon [Bad] Advice Guide: Entry 1

Ok, so I was channel surfing the other day when I come across the VH1 hit reality TV shot, "Hogan Know's Best." Me, being bored and a wrestling fan, which, oddly enough happens alot to wrestling fans because of our superior attention span...I decided to give the show a glance over. Now, this isn't the first time I've ever watch the show, and, probably, it won't be the last.

Anyway, back to the subject that I was trying, but failing, to talk about.
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Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat worms.

Hello. My name is JK. I'm not as well versed at this whole "sports" opinion thingie as my fellow Bastards, but that won't stop me from sharing a few of the sports-related nuggets that form in my brain, which I then slide into my bowels so that I may shit them out for all to read and enjoy. A little more about turn-ons are: confidence, hygiene, and a sense of humor. My turn-offs are: rudeness, poor hygiene, and ugly people. Now on with the bastage-iz-ing!

Pro wrestling might not be a real sport to some of you, but it's very real to me--especially when I hear of poor, muscle-headed saps like Marty Wright getting the boot while out with an injury. If you were watching WWE Smackdown during the fall of '05, you no doubt got to see Marty Wright in action as The Boogeyman. The Boogeyman was a toothless freak that danced like a choking chicken, carried a smoking pole, and enjoyed sucking down a worm or two. He bulldozed through the ranks with lightning speed, squashing legendary superstars like Nunzio (aka ECW's Little Guido), Vito (formerly of the Baldies, also from ECW), and even John Bradshaw Layfield (aka JBL), who had just spent most of '04, and the first quarter of '05 as the WWE Heavyweight Champion. But it was during a feud with Booker T that Boogey's elevator ride to the top would have its cables snap--along with his left bicep--causing his storybook career to plummet back down to earth.

Apparently, the Boogeyman was only supposed to sit on the shelf for about four months to recover from surgery. But what was four months soon stretched itself to six months, and after repeated warnings to get his shit together for a return, WWE finally decided to pull the plug on him. No more Boogeyman nursery rhymes; no more broken clocks over the head; no more crazy voodoo struts; and no more Marty Wright.

Goodbye Boogeyman. We hardly knew you, yet we saw more than enough. Just remember, like "Crazy Joe" Clark once told Kid Ray, "You'll be dead in a year, son. You'll be dead in a year."

Mother Fucker, I said SPRITE!


"Former ECW star New Jack was arrested during the debut Pro Wrestling Xplosion event in Philadelphia, PA at the New Alhambra Arena following an incident where Jack became physically involved with either a woman or a security guard (depending on which version of the story you believe), which led to 20 police officers being called to the scene."


"According to a few reports we received, Jack was involved in a loud situation at the concession stand yelling at an employee, which led to either a woman or a security guard (not associated with Atlas Security) being physically assaulted. One story making the rounds, if you can believe this one (and given this business, I can), is that Jack was upset over being given 7-Up instead of Sprite. The venue then called the police, with 20 cops arriving in multiple police cars. Jack was then arrested and obviously, removed from the show."

Same ol' shit with Jerome Young, isn't it, kids?