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This is the archive for October 2006

The Suck Train that is John Cena.

John Cena busted a phat freestyle in the pages of USA Weekend as part of his interview. Here it is, in all its lame glory.

This is John Cena, WWE, bear witness
"Flex" magazine, cover, Mr. Fitness
Eat your protein bars and drink your shakes up
I'm gettin' money, 'bout to get the cake up
Fatigue hat, camo' to the background
Comin' up, I'm Raw, but I still SmackDown,
Your face got the bass killin' in the beat
This is a cappella, still my name's spillin' in the street
Yeah, that's right, this is John Cena and we leakin'
Read the publication USA WEEKEND

I don't even have to provide any jokes for this one. His 'freestyles' have always been a joke; this just further cements his whiteness.

John Cena Has Mad Skills, Yo

Not only is John Cena the greatest freestyler on the planet, but he also is the greatest technical wrestler and probably the most skilled at following directions.

Yeah. I'm a fucking liar sometimes. I know.
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