The Greatest NBA Coach of All Time, Red Auerbach, died last night.

What can be said about Red Auerbach and his Celtics teams? He did something that not even Phil Jackson could do. He won nine NBA rings with the same city. Red was the The Coach of Boston. A cigar in his mouth and his eye on the prize at all times. After leaving Boston, he continued to do the one thing he loved to do. He continued to coach his "kids".

He won 938 games in the NBA, the second highest win records. The highest goes to one of his friends, Lenny Wilkens, with 1,332 wins.

Red won with fire, passion, and most importantly, class. Even the current thugs of the NBA regard Red as The Man. How much influence does Red have? All coaches have in form or another tried to emulate Red's ability. Only Phil got close.

There will never be another Red Auerbach, and a man like him, the NBA needs now more than ever. Red was a man who wouldn't take any of the thuggery in HIS locker room. A man who wasn't afraid to tell his star play to "Shut up and play. I don't give a damn who endorses you." His most blantant point for all coaches to tack down on their boards. "Animals, you discipline. People, you handle with respect."

Rest In Peace, Coach. May your wisdom impact all generations.

10/29/06 | Posted by Rich | Category NBA 13 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |

Credit goes to The Critic for finding this gem.

Today, all the NBA Players have to leave their guns at home. ...the one in your Lugz, Stephen. Give it to security. There we go. Anyways, Wyatt Earp... fuck, I mean David Stern gave a mandate to the entire NBA that 9mm handguns are still not a part of the NBA Dress Code. They also can't be slipped in under the accessory rule. While we're at it, you can't slip them anywhere on the business suits that you're forced to wear now, Toby.

To top this all off, you fuckers can't wear it on the low-hanging chain that you can't wear anymore. Now that we have that clear, NBA, time for you to go back to making shitty rap albums and movies, while finding creative ways to get thrown out of strip clubs.

So, what will Sebastian Telfair do for fun now? Hire another thug to shoot Fagolous again?

10/27/06 | Posted by Rich | Category NBA 3 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |

Y'know, I think I liked Gilbert Arenas before, but after reading this Esquire interview, I know I like that man. He might be nuttier than squirrel shit, but he's a good kind of nutty. The kind of crazy I can get behind, and not the TO kind of team-destroying crazy.

Maybe I like him more after reading this because he reminds me of myself. I'm not sure. I recommend you read the whole article, which is told in pseudo-psychological evaluation style and thusly, is very entertaining.

Either way, here's a few quotes I dig from the man below the cut.

10/13/06 | Posted by Ron | Category NBA 4 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |

Per ESPN: Stephen Jackson of the Indiana Pacers was slugged in the mouth, struck by a car and fired a gun in the air in self-defense outside a strip club early Friday, police said.

Words cannot explain my lack of surprise. Pick your own joke here, folks:

1.) The Cincinnattica Bengals have expressed interest in signing Jackson

2.) Jackson plans to join Ron Artest and 50 Cent on a world tour

3.) Chris Henry was quoted as saying, “Sorry about that, dawg. I was out partying with Odell and Koren again, and we had JJ Reddick be our designated driver.”

4.) “The only thing I ever put in somebody’s mouth at a strip club was my cock. It’s also the only thing I ever shot into the air at a strip club, too,” Patrick Ewing said after that stripper took the dollar bill from his mouth without using her hands.

5.) For once, Stephen Jackson was the victim of trouble, not the instigator.

10/06/06 | Posted by Ron | Category NBA 14 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |