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This is the archive for November 2006

Nick Mangold's Giant Sister Crushes Feminism.

"I have a lot of people come up to me and ask since I play football am I a feminist?" Holley (Mangold) said. "No, not at all. I don't think, 'I am woman hear me roar.' It was simply because football is one of the greatest sports there is and if I can keep doing it like my brother, that would be amazing."

Thank God for someone being honest for once.

Unlike feminists, who present with a narrow-minded and myopic view of what it is to be a woman and a feminist, Holley Mangold, sister of New York Jet center Nick Mangold, doesn't want to be seen as some crusader for gender equality in a sport in which, let's be honest, 99.999 out of 100 women in the world aren't fit to play. Hell, 99 out of 100 men in the world aren't fit to play it either.

Not to pick on those dumb feminists, but they need to realize something. Title IX has nothing to do with allowing a woman to play a man's sport, or vice-versa. Title IX just requires schools to spend a lot of money on women's sports that don't create revenue. Holley Mangold, no matter what condition her genitals are in, is a football player for three reasons, which I will list slowly below the cut.

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Pardon the Horn - MNF Edition for November 27, 2006

Ok, people. Let's get right to it...

Rich Brown: Ok, Ron. First topic.

Rich Brown: Are the Jints done, or is there hope for Eli Messiah?

Ron Hogan: I think it's time to stick a fork in the Jints, because even if they can make the playoffs, Tom Coughlin is going to coach them right out of contention. Not that Coughlin is normally a bad coach, but the team has absolutely no confidence in his playcalling. When a guy like Tiki Barber, who has never been a problem dude as far as we know, calls the coach out in public, then that's bad news.

Rich Brown: I think Messiah needs therapy, a hug, and Archie to come in and kill Tommy boy. I think Coughlin is done. The Maras don't tolerate this bullshit. And you know even the Four Families will make him leave. If you don't know what I mean, watch the fucking Sopranos.

Ron Hogan: If he's not out this year, the Mara family has made a huge mistake. They've got a great team if they can get healthy, but they need new blood.

This is what we're burning on, and more. If you're an INSider.... Oh wait. Fuck that, just click the link.
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OJ killed his ex-wife and her friend, now Fox killed OJ's TV special

Well, lovers of decent human conduct everywhere can now rejoice. After protests, bad press, and affiliate blackouts out the wazoo, OJ Simpson's TV special "If I Did It" has been officially shitcanned by the higher-ups at Fox Television. It's the right thing to do, I think.

We all know OJ killed his ex-wife and Ron Goldman. OJ knows we know he killed them, too, which is why he felt like it was a good idea to release a book dealing in a hypothetical murder situation involving himself and those two people (even though, you know, it's not a hypothetical situation, but a historical event). Hollywood will have nothing to do with him, and I imagine he gets bored signing bloody gloves and mug shots for people all day, so he's just trying to branch out and fill his days with an activity other than murder and golf.

However, just because OJ and Fox showed a relative lack of guts (aside from Ron Goldman's guts where OJ hacked them out of his torso, that is) doesn't mean I'm going to display the same empty sac. No sir. My fake book, entitled "If I Did It: OJ DOA," is still scheduled for publication. That's right, gang; you'll have something to stuff your stocking with, other than crack rock.

I leave you, humble reader, with a joke.

Q: What's the worst part of OJ's golf game?

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Glenn Edward "Bo" Schembechler (1929-2006)

According to Detroit and ESPN, the man known as the "Coach's Coach", Bo Schembechler, died earlier today at Providence Hospital in Southfield, MI. Coach Schembechler was at the TV station WXYZ-TV filming his regular weekly show hyping the Michigan game.

It was reported that weeks earlier, the coach was already in poor health, and had collapsed in the middle of the studio. This time, the staff promptly called the EMS rather than let him go on. At 9:25 am, Police and EMS raced to get the coach to the hospital, but it was too late.

The coach had a pacemaker installed from his previous collapse last month. As the old man joked, it covered a fair amount of his chest. He had a history of heart problems before big games. His first heart attack was before the 1970 Rose Bowl. Since then, the man had received sporadic heart bypasses.

Schembechler was also a smart man outside of football, as he was the AD for Michigan from 1988 to 1990, as he fired Bill Friedler for "disloyalty" after Friedler announced at that he was leaving Michigan at the end of the Final Four. Bo said that a Michigan man leads his team, not a traitor. Steve Fisher was given the job and lead the Wolvies to their National Championship.

However, he was villified during his 1990 to 1992 run as the President of the Detroit Tigers. He was the man responsible for the firing of Ernie Harwell. Although the press corps took responsibility for the sacking, the Detroit base blamed the ownership and Bo for many years to come.

After his leave from the Tigers, Bo resumed his duties at Michigan with an office in the football facilities, now known as Schembechler Hall. It is noted that current coach, Lloyd Carr, is a Schembechler student and former assistant.

When the coach fell ill, he feared that he'd miss the big game. We're sorry you did, Coach. There aren't many coaches with the fire that you and Woody Hayes had. Goodbye, Coach. Maybe you, Red, and Hayes can discuss football, basketball, and how the kids are losing the basics while you're up there.


Leon Washington Joins the Billy Ripken Society.

Now for anyone who's been living under a rock like I'd love to, here's what the Billy Ripken Society is.


Yes, it's juvenile. But, blame the card companies for this.

Now Leon gets to live in E-Gay fame for this blooper.

The Official New Yawker Greeting

C'mon, NYC. It's not like you folks don't use this everyday...

Top Ten Sports stories that we don't give a fuck about

These are ten stories that we're sick of hearing about. Find new things to talk about, Dan Patrick and the rest of you sports announcers. These stories are only good for blogs like this... so that I have something to rant about that I'm sick of hearing.

1.) LPGA to drug test - Wake me up when the PGA, or even the Senior Tour, start drug testing. That'll be interesting. I would love to see who is on drugs on those tours.

2.) Bobby Knight chin tapping the basketball player - Oh please. You know Bobby Knight, you know his history. A chin tap. Should he be touching players? No. Will it probably happen again? Yes. Shouldn't we be more focused on the fact he's on the verge of becoming the NCAAB's all time wins leader? Yes.

3.) Randy Moss not catching balls because he's "unhappy." Oh grow up Randy. Shut up, show up on time, and play hard no matter where you are or get your ass out of the game. End of story.

4.) Boston willing to waste $100 million on pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka - Does anyone care anymore? Maybe you die-hard Sox fans do, but does anyone else? Besides the fact that MLB pays it players way more than they're worth and they bring in income to the team?

5) Yes, Joe Paterno isn't going anywhere. Did anyone honestly think he'd be going anywhere just because he's almost 80 and he should be staying off his leg for a few weeks? I didn't. Let's move on.

See the bottom five behind the cut.
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