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This is the archive for January 2007

Glug glug neigh

Sometimes you've got a big date, but you're nervous. So, what do you do? You have yourself a little drink before you go out. Not too much, just enough to steady the hands and refresh the courage. You're human after all.

Sometimes, you've got yourself a big race, but you're nervous? So what does your vet do? He injects you with a little vodka before you go out to the track. Not too much, just enough to settle the nerves and keep those hooves from beating too hard. You're a prized thoroughbred, after all.

Maybe Barry Bonds using those horse steroids wasn't such a bad idea?

Lack of Standards

As soon as it was official that Mark McGwire would not be voted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, every single sports show out there started talking about how a supposed double standard exists between the National Football League and Major League Baseball. Arguments are arising saying that NFL players get off too easily when they abuse steroids and we hold MLB players to too harsh of a standard. Frankly, anyone who believes this double standard exists in this fashion is full of shit.

Let's examine why the double standard can't possibly exist between these two organizations about steroid abuse. First -- the only baseball players guilty of steroid abuse in the past are out there are because either:

a) They admitted it

b) Another player accuses them of it. Baseball tests the bats more than they test the players.

The NFL, on the other hand, subjects players to random testing throughout the year. Then they are suspended four games for their first infraction, six games for their second infraction, and a minimum of a year long suspension for a third infraction.

Here, players serve their time, pay for their crime and then they get back to playing football. There are the few players who end up going through all three warnings, but they are rare.

That's why if you're on steroids in the NFL, you aren't on them for very long and if you are, then you'd be out of the game for good. That's why Shawne Merriman deserves to be named to the Pro Bowl and the all star team even after serving the four-game suspension.

Baseball, on the other hand, until last year didn't test its players. They didn't serve suspensions for doing steroids, because the owners and the league did not have a method of proving that the players are on steroids. The United States Congress was more active in attempting to rid MLB of steroids then the league itself is.

Now that baseball is starting to catch and punish players for steroid use I think any perception of a double standard will be erased. It isn't about Major League Baseball being the National Pastime or a perception that steroid use doesn't matter as much in football as it does in baseball. It was about the fact that the public in general perceives Mark McGwire guilty of a crime that he hasn't been convicted or punished for. So, most sports writers with a vote have deemed it their place to keep anyone they believe might have been on steroids out of the Cooperstown, even without admission.

In this writer's opinion, guilty or not, Mark McGwire deserves to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

The Grimey Three

So I'm sitting at home today thinking when something hits me in my skull in regards to ranting about all things sports. Given how much ESPN I consume on the average, why not take at least three topics that are ranted on [in some instances as blindly as can be] and do it my way. I'm gonna do this tonight, then starting next week, every Saturday [since I need to do more writing over the course of the weekend and what not] thereafter. So after sitting at home and tossing things back and forth in my head the three topics I'm going to get all "Grimey" on are as follows...

- Nicocchio Going To 'Bama
- The Not So Mighty Quinn
- When Being Overrated Is Too Much and Nonachieving Isn't Enough.

So alright, I'm partially taking this from my dawg Stephen A. Smith, but I digress. Before I get into that, allow me to very quickly touch on the NFC picture or the Jigsaw Puzzle For Retards that is sadly, the NFC. Let me first state that growing up as a little Grimey Guy in Jersey, the NFC was the Alpha and Omega of the NFL. If you ever told me that the AFC would rise to Mt. Fuji-esque levels and the NFC would sink lower than the combined stocks of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson amongst real Blacks, I would've laughed in your face. But alas, this has happened. I was all but ready to go all rantalicious on these two games, but why bother? All four teams while being fatally flawed in their own, sadly unique ways are as mediocrity and this year's top two NFC teams would have it, all capable of booking trips to Miami for February 4th. So, here are my picks:

New York over Philly
Dallas over Seattle

I'm sorry, but the Madden Curse will rear its true form [Titans fans can see where I'm going with this] and Shaun Alexander will make one costly, unconventionalish error that dooms this team. On top of that, I had no clue their secondary was as patchwork as a quilt. Dallas will pick these boys apart through the air.

As for NY over Philly, let me be clear about something. Two things actually. One, this is quasi-personal for me as someone I used to know has royally pissed me off and I'd love to see her team crash and burn horribly. I actually miss laughing at these clowns, I really do and secondly, by no means is a win good enough to save Coughlin's job in NY or is it enough to get me to not go back home armed to the teeth to force his resignation Tony Soprano style. Only ONE thing can save it and stop me and that's a Vince Lombardi trophy. Alright, onto the Grimey Three.

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