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This is the archive for January 2007

Welcome to the era of completely-invented records

From the Department of Pointless Statistics:

Guard Gary Neal has joined Kenny Battle (Northern Illinois and University of Illinois) and Jon Manning (Oklahoma City and North Texas State) as one of only three players in NCAA history to top 1,000 points at two Division 1 schools. Of course, since those two school were La Salle and Towson, nobody really cares.

I MADE A DIPSY DOO IN MY DIAPER DANDIES, BABY!

Yesterday, the subject of Dick Vitale came up between me and Rich. Rich hated Dickie V, but I think occasionally he drops some nuggets of wisdom that are usually swallowed up in his hyperbole. Instead of just talking about how weirdly random Dickie V is, why not try to actually quantify his weirdness with some statistics? I would, but we were beaten to the punch.

The folks over at Card Chronicle actually sat down and, as they watched the University of Louisville Cardinals destroy the UConn Huskies, counted the random Dick Vitale non sequiturs. The grand total (and no doubt a conservative estimate) was 156. One hundred and fifty six Vitale isms not related to the actual game of basketball being played in front of Dick Vitale on the hardwood of Freedom Hall.

You know, that number seems like a lot, but when you actually listen to Dick Vitale, it seems like he mentions a lot more. They must’ve not listed the same things twice.

A top reason why Tennessee loves Bruce Pearl...

As covered by Ron's favorite, Pat Forde, Bruce Pearl went fucking nuts last night. In fact, he went more nuts than he usually does...

Normal Bruce...

Yes, the orange blazer...

Yeah...

As Forde says, never graduate, man. Of course, Skip Bayless the Cunt hates this, saying that Bruce is a glory hog. Typical Vandy cuntragging from Skip. Even Pat Summitt had fun with it.

No, Skip, it wasn't with clenched teeth. I've seen Pat pissed; that wasn't pissed.

Keep on, Bruce. This Tennessee student loves it, and hell, I might suck at B-ball, but I'd go play for him.

(Credits: Bruce in orange paint, that's an AP Photo by Wade Payne)

in other news, I fucking hate Duke

The two sweetest words in the English language to just about every college basketball fan are: Duke loses. Needless to say, this entry took awhile to get up here, because I've been celebrating the downfall of the hated Dookies since, oh, 4:00 or so. I have nothing really constructive to add, other than a hearty cry of...

SUCK IT, MIKE KRZYZEWSKI! SUCK IT GOOD AND HARD, BITCH!