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This is the archive for April 2007

The untold Mitch Mustain iChat Convo

We here at Sports Bastards have this odd thing. Sometimes we can tap into secret convos like the guys over at PBoink's Dugout. Although B and crew actually get into MLB chats, our tech is so shitty that we can only get NCAA ones. But all the better, really. Here's the Mitch Mustain convo for all of you to gag at.

Mitch da Bitch MITCHDAMAN: so coach nutt I hate your fucking proggie bcause Reggie is teh star and im not so I'm gng 2 a scool that apprseaates me

Teh NUTT! bigARKnutt: Whar's dat, boy?

Teh TAN MAN coachPETE4sale: Right here at QB University, Houston. How're you doing, still losing in the SEC?

Teh NUTT! bigARKnutt: Fuck you, Carroll. God damn Yankee pretty boy! I know how to coach up some footbaw!

Teh Fat Whore! BeckTEHBoss: Eloquent as always, Houston. You damn inbred.

Teh NUTT! bigARKnutt: Oh Lawdy, who lat Jezebel in har!

Mitch da Bitch MITCHDAMAN: MOOOOOM! i'm trying to be a big boi an conduc sum busines

Teh Fat Whore! BeckTEHBoss: Mitchie! You know that Mommie makes all your business decisions for you. You're just not big enough yet, son.

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Mitch Mustain. Yes, again.

Hey kids, remember everyone's friend Mitch "The Bitch" Mustain? He was the guy who got the privlege of handing off to Darren McFadden and Felix Jones (the SEC's most feared rushing attack) for 8 games before being benched by Coach Houston "Bust a" Nutt for his constant whining, complaining, bitching, and generally acting like a spoiled little prep superstar.

Well, Coach gave him his release, Mitch finished out the semester (probably because Mommy made him), and where is our little star going to go now? Well, Quarterback U, of course! That's right, Mrs. Mustain's baby boy is heading out west, where he'll get to hold the clipboard for John David Booty and the five other quarterbacks on the USC roster.

If you didn't get enough playing time last year, Mitch, just wait until you're eligible to take snaps in Southern Cal.