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This is the archive for April 2007

Making it sprinkle with Whitlock.

Jason Whitlock "So, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. I was actually at that same strip club two weeks before [the Pacman Jones incident]. We were trying to go to Sapphire's instead, actually, but our cab driver hustled us into going to Minxx. I think he got like $60 a person for bringing people there."

Audience Member "Did you make it rain?"

Whitlock "We made it sprinkle."

Quotes like these are why I like Jason Whitlock. Also, this will probably be the only time I ever link to The Harvard Crimson, unless of course their lacrosse team gangbangs a black stripper. Don’t let me down Ha’vaad.

(obligitory 'tip to DS)

Hokie nation and hokey tributes.

While our beloved Jaime first commented on NASCAR’s efforts to pay tribute to the victims of the Gunfight at the Hokie Corral, Uni Watch blogger Paul Lukas, who never responded to my email asking him to link up to us (unlike Dan Shanoff, who replied to the letter but didn’t link us), has a fullish listing of the tribute efforts so far.

Suffice it to say, lots of class all around when it comes to the memorials.

Time to join the Underground Train plowing into Colin Cowshit.

Alright, as most of you know, I like Colon Cocksucker about as much as 50 Cent loves Ja Rule. In other words, I think an eternity of getting a pineapple shoved up his ass is too good for the fucking Schrutebag. In his oh so cool douchebag way, he ordered his minions to DNS our fellow haters over at the Big Lead.

This is even though Deadspin, KSK, Pacifist Viking, The Babes, and probably Flash Warner (everyone's favorite angry hottie) have said millions of things worse than what they'd come up with. Hell, after Eddie Guerrero's death, that was fun. It's the one time all the staffers here contributed to one large voodoo doll for Colin. (Oh, how's that eternal pain in your back, you fuck. I hope Jaime keeps that large dagger in, and possibly shoves said dagger even deeper every time she has a bad day.)

Anyhow, TBL was picked by random, because they "annoyed" Colon. They annoyed him, a man who does more annoying than 95 percent of the whores I used to date. right...

Then he tells the trolls to kill the site. And Michigan Zone has the clip in living color. Oh, Colon, fucking busted, faggot.

And so you know who to look for, Colin, when you're fired from ESPN, and you want to take out one of the bloggers. I'll give you a picture to look for. Which by the way, I was trained to kick ass by Uncle Sam's Angry Fellows aka the Army. I'll be the pissed off Mexican around Nashville. Good luck finding me...

Fuck Colin

There's a picture to go by, have fun.

Oh, and if you're feeling ready to test out the new Ombudswoman, have a go at this link. Be calm and very respectful. She's taking time out of her day to read your comments. So, don't give her a hard time. In fact, respect is the key word here. Show her respect, and she'll be sure to respectfully tell ESPN what their moronic radio host is doing.

Edit 1: A note of props. Awful Annonuncing, one of our boys who helped us out in the early days, he's leading a photoshop contest with caps of the live show. Yes, Schrutebag has a webcam. Doesn't that now make him a gay camwhore? Anyhow, participate if you want, I won't stop you. In fact, I fucking encourage you ar-teests to get in on it.

Edit 2: Now he's managed to offend Amy's hometown of Cincinattica. So, I think Colin's managed to piss off the Rust Belt, El Paso, and now Cincinattica. The South doesn't listen to you for being too metrosexual, and we hate being called homers and booger pickers. You've also pissed off Louisiana with your comments about Frank Robinson. I guess that leaves you with Hartford to be safe in, right...

World Ending...: CSTB is also aboard the Schrutebag hate train. World is now ending, lock up the valuables, place head between legs, kiss ass goodbye...