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This is the archive for April 2007

Rednecks waste beer.

This post will be full of a bunch of random shit, why? I don't have it in me to bitch or ramble about any of these things for more than a sentence or two.

1) Congratulations to Jeff Gordon - Well done on passing Dale Earnhardt on the all-time wins list for NASCAR, moving you up into sixth place. Just a single week after you tied him. Jeff is having an awesome season -- as is evident by the over-usage of him in our NASCAR fantasy team. But you have to pick the guy when he's on a hot streak. And even though people have every right to dislike you and be upset, I agree, that it's just trashy of fans to throw beer cans at you. It adds to the awful reputation of redneck hickdom that NASCAR fans have developed. Yes, it was Dale Earnhardt's birthday. But what will the image people left with on that day? Was it someone they liked or hated breaking Dale's record? No. It was the image of fans throwing beer cans and toilet paper on the track. I tell you the only reason Dale Earnhardt would be upset about Jeff breaking his record on Sunday, would be if Jeff hadn't beaten his record when he could. It is racing. You don't get to take into consideration when you're going whose birthday it is, who is your friend, because in the end.. Race hard, drive fast and turn left. Plus, does throwing beer cans on the track really show the world that you're upset? No, it shows them that you're a hick and you probably just proved them right.

2) Well done Dale Jr. We'll even ignore the rumors that you've been offered a majority ownership of DEI (though now we're hearing rumors of DEI discussing merging with Robert Yates Racing.) But anyone who knows me, knows my dislike of Jr had been almost as strong as my hatred of Tony Stewart. But lately Junior you've been acting like a man. Debunking myths that your father hated Jeff Gordon, encouraging your fans not to throw things at Gordon if and when he beat your father's record (which he did on Saturday). And even commenting on how much you appreciated his tribute to your father. Well done. You're growing up, not acting like an immature little brat on the track.. and the only reason you piss me off lately.. is because I don't want to like you, but most of the time you are earning my respect.

3) KFC Series, The Fried Chicken League, The Colonel Sanders Cup - In other words KFC has emerged as one of the leaders in winning the title sponsorship for the Busch Series as Anheiser Busch will end their 25 year relationship with NASCAR. Subway also remains a leading contender. And according to others also still showing interest include dark horse candidate Dish Network, Checkers/Rally's, Domino's Pizza, Burger King, Arby's and McDonald's. Dish Network being a dark horse because of NASCAR's strong relationship with DirectTV.

4) Tony not having fun - Race announcers this week were sure to over exaggerate and point out the two times that the caution for debris actually helped Tony Stewart over other racers, but that didn't mean that Smoke wasn't still pissed off leaving the track Sunday night, because he was. Tony once again was spun out during the race, this time during the green-white checkered flag attempt (the race ended on a yellow). He was left frustrated as he was bumped and spun into the wall. And then was hit by another driver probably seeking retaliation for the Busch Series Race (something Tony pretended not to understand). Tell you what Tony, you need to do a lot more charity work to work off your shitty Karma points lately. Being a hypocrite I don't think helps you in that area.

5) There isn't really a 5.. so, let's make one up. If you like all the hard racing lately, go check out the NHL playoffs. (No, I'm not getting paid), but there have been some excellent games as of yet. Better quality than I expected. So, enjoy some hard hits, great saves and amazing goals.

Kyle Busch really needs to work on that whole "left turn" thing.

This is an impressive wreck. That's why these guys make the big bucks, because they can roll a flaming car 7 times.

Is that a foot in your mouth or is that just Tony Stewart?

So, Tony Stewart shot off his big mouth again. Is anyone honestly surprised? Tony Stewart has a repeated history of shooting off his mouth. Hell, that's probably why Sirius radio decided to give the asshole his own show. Now, all these thoughts of Tony Stewart have nothing to do with me being indoctrinated by 'big brother Bill France' and his train of thought. So, let's look at his argument a little bit.

Tony decided to declare on Monday (after he lost.. only getting 2nd place. He refused to talk to the press after the race, because he claims he didn't want to diss the officials in an angry tone). The real reason? Tony's a sore loser. There would be no conspiracy theories being thrown out there by Tony if he'd won. But Tony doesn't like it when other drivers win. He hates it a lot, he hates it more than any other driver out there today.

Tony believes that NASCAR shouldn't be able to throw cautions when there is debris on the track. Instead, it seems tony wants to let the drivers keep driving around until someone blows a tire, flies into the wall and causes a lot more damage that could have been avoided. Because that would mean that NASCAR officials couldn't conspire against Tony to fix the race so another guy wins.

There's a few flaws here in Tony's argument. 1) NASCAR most likely would want to fix the race to let smoke win over Gordon. Smoke's probably the more popular driver. A lot of people hate Jeff Gordon because of a false impression of how Earnhardt viewed Gordon. 2) NASCAR has always tried to put a drivers safety first and whenever they do call the caution, it's for a good reason and to prevent accidents, not to interfere with the racing and the race outcome itself. In example, the 2007 Daytona 500. Despite the fact there was an accident in the backfield, NASCAR did not throw the caution flag and let time markers decide the outcome of the race. Instead, they waited until after the leaders had raced it out on that final lap before throwing the caution in order to create the most fair outcome to the race. There was no risk to cause further accidents with the accident in the backfield and the leaders not going to go spinning down into it on the track. 3) If NASCAR wanted to fix races to get more fans to watch, Dale Earnhardt Jr. would have won a lot more races. Jr is the most popular driver in NASCAR and all outlooks for the future right now point to that fact not changing.

Tony likes to shout off his hypocritical mouth. Despite the fact if this conspiracy existed lots would argue those cautions have probably helped Tony in the past and he would have never called out this conspiracy during those races he lost.

So, now Tony admits that he has damaged the sport and has disappointed his peers in shooting his mouth off. Again, is anyone surprised? This happens a lot with Tony. He says something stupid and he apologizes. Please note that almost everyone will forgive his hypocritical ass.

"To be honest, the group that I spoke with this morning is a group of peers that I trust. If they tell me the stuff is out there, I believe them," he said. "I should have went to them instead of just saying it out in public. That's frustration that's been building up for weeks with me with all these debris cautions."

But the thing I would like to most point out here, is the fact that NASCAR did not punish Tony for his remarks (which any of the other big sports leagues do and will continue to punish athletes and coaches for speaking out against the officiating). Yes, he did receive a penalty, but only because he refused to talk with the press after the race last weekend (the top 3 finishers are obligated to do so according to NASCARs rules). So, in NASCAR free speech is still allowed. As long as it is family friendly (as Juan Montoya learned that his middle finger is worthy of a blur and a fine).

And will we see this happen again with Tony Stewart? Yes. Why? He won't get punished for it and the sore loser has his own radio show on satellite radio. He'll continue to do it again and again. And why Tony does a lot of charity work, it really doesn't make up for his behavior around racing (on and off the track). I wish he would have stuck by his claims that he'll retire when he has enough money to live off of for the rest of his life.

Juan Pablo learns that The Bird is universal.

Juan Pablo Montoya probably didn’t endear himself to NASCAR fans (or the FCC) last week when he flipped them the bird on live national television. That little accidental slip of the finger (he claims he thought he was flipping off his documentary crew) is going to cost Pablo $10,000 for conduct detrimental to stock car racing. In addition, he’s on probation until December 31st.

There’s no word yet on whether or not Dean Wormer is going to try to throw the rest of Delta House off campus. Since it’s probation, and not double secret probation, I think Bluto, Otter, Boon, D-Day, and Pinto can rest easy for now. The fundraising toga party will be this Friday at Delta House.

Music provided by Otis Day and the Knights. Folk-singing pussies are not invited.

Another Mini-NASCAR update

Well, I figured I should do another one of these. Mostly because I've been really slacking on blogging lately. Blame Ron. (Just kidding, blame Rich.)

- In a nice tribute to the victims at Virginia Tech, for the next three weeks all cars in the Busch and Nextel Cup series will display a VT logo.

- Furthermore, NASCAR has dedicated the entire weekend of racing to the victims of the Virginia Tech tragedy.

- Night Racing begins this week in Phoenix. Jeff Gordon is on the poll as the boys hop back into the Car of Tomorrow to see how it does as the sun sets over the desert and the lights turn on.

- Junior and Kasey Kahne continue with a disappointing start to their seasons. At this rate, those boys won't be finding their way into the expanded chase field this year.

And I told you, mini update. Jimmie and Gordon are having an amazing start to their season. Juan Pablo in making a rookie mistake fails to piss off Tony Stewart, mostly because the lug sees himself in Juan. So, enjoy the racing this weekend and prepare yourself for more ranting against the Car of Tomorrow (or Car of Today) as the Drivers will most likely rant against it, again. Change is never an easy thing.

He's now drunk-driving for the Toyota Racing Team

Michael Waltrip’s really sucked this year. He was caught cheating at the Daytona 500 and fined $100,000 and docked 100 driver points, he hasn’t qualified for a race yet this season, and his team (Dale Jarrett and David Reutimann) has also struggled to even get in the field for races. Pretty much everything that can go wrong for Waltrip has gone wrong, except that he hasn’t crashed into a tree at 2 AM yet.

Oh wait, nevermind.

I hate to be a jingoist and say that you get what you pay for when you sell your soul to Japanese interlopers on the last purely American-powered motor sport, but… yeah, your team sucks, your cars suck, and you probably just got away with drunk driving and rolling your Land Cruiser. A professional race car driver ‘overcorrects’ and wrecks his vehicle sober? Yeah, and Chris Henry is a Boy Scout.

Karma’s a real bitch, Waltrip.