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This is the archive for February 2007

Shaun Livingston Has Time For That Degree Now...

As everyone probably saw on ESPN, Shaun Livingston got one of the more manly injuries by purely freak accident. He managed dislocate his kneecap. That's not all, however. He also managed to tear every ligament in his knee. The good news, he didn't break any blood vessels or damage any major nerves.

A warning for all who watch this clip, we warn you that this is not for the squeamish. If you get sick, not my fault. I warned you.

Livingston is expected out for 8 to 12 months. No matter how much any of you "manly" (read: fat pussy toads) morons might say that an NFL or NHL player would have finished the game... Let's get realistic, not even Romanowski and his insanity would get up from this. As most are predicting, Shaun's career is practically over. If he rehabs well, he's going to have to relearn how to move with a brace like seen on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Considering the fact that his other knee was already damaged, it's going to be a long road.

Shaun take a bit of time and relax, get into college like you didn't want to. A degree might do you good right now, son...

Joumana Kidd is now accepting Valentines

Per Deadspin, The Smoking Gun has Joumana Kidd’s countersuit against Jason all scanned up and posted on the Internet for the world to see, and boy, is it pretty, uh… well…

Okay, spousal abuse is never funny and I know these kids they’ve got are going to be fucked up for the rest of their lives because of their daddy being a serial womanizer and their mother being a crazy-eyed psycho hosebeast, but seriously! Even Jemele Hill calls bullshit on this lawsuit.

You got hit… with a cookie (probably an Oreo). When Jason went out to cheat, he won you back with diamonds (I’d bet anyone $50 that large rock she got hit with was that $500,000 pink diamond). He beat your ass before you got married and you still married him. Joumana Kidd, you’re nothing but a very expensive whore, and now that you’ve hit the ejaculatory lottery and Jason’s sick of you being crazy, you’re ready to suck him dry on your way out the door (and not in the stripper way that he’d like).

Take a lesson from Michael Jordan’s wife: take your money, shut your goddamn mouth, and leave quietly with your dignity, and the dignity of your children, intact. You started this crap, so it’s time for you to end this crap. Nobody cares about you and whether or not J-Kidd gave you a triple-double upside the brain, so disappear.

Anna Benson says you lack class.

Applauding Amaechi?

That's the word of the day, sorta. First, the basis for, hold up. Few things first before I get into this deeplike.

- Congrats to Adolf Stern for FINALLY righting what would've been a huge wrong by putting Carmelo on the All-Star Team. Congrats Holmes, next time you feel the urge to give someone Not So Sweet Chin Music, remember; Adolf doesn't like you.

- The Crap Dunk Contest has officially hit bottom. No, not last year's 16 dunk display in the Finals thanks to eventual champ Nate Robinson aka “Less Talented Spud v-3.7,” but when the judges are more famous than the competitors, we've got a problem. And here's something that I, Len Jersey, will guarantee right now.

Next Saturday, the winning dunk will be less spectacular than any of the qualifying dunks executed by the judges in their respective winning years. I swear, after they robbed Amare two years ago, I stopped watching this. They make the WWE seem real by comparison.

- Doc Rivers, get that resume updated; your pink slip's gonna be in the mail anytime now. Screw the whole "Vote of Confidence" you got a few days ago. That just means you're one step away from being ousted. Oh and Danny Ainge, trading to get non point guard Sebastian Telfair from the Jail Blazers? Dumbest. Move. EVER. Way to ensure your team stays in the tank, and way to ensure that Pierce will probably never again make the playoffs wearing the Celtic green.

Okay, time for the Big Show. Not THAT guy, by the by.

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