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This is the archive for May 2007

This Just In...The Empire Lost.

For years, 26 of them in fact, New York in terms of baseball has always been the Yanks' domain. The House That Ruth Built, The Boss, The Don...Mattingly that is...and methinks right after their 1981 World Series loss to the Dodgers, who had Fernandomania running wild, I didn't see the Yanks have another winning season until the mid 90s. Come to think of it, until that time, the Mets came into their own, winning a couple of NL East crowns and one World Series title in 1986. But two, isn't anywhere near 26, right? Well, here's the thing that most Yankee fans aren't willing to admit, but are seeing unfold right before their very eyes.

The Mets are a helluva lot closer to winning World Series #3 than the Yanks are from winning #27. And what's more, the Mets haven't had to bend worse than a pretzel to get some aging arm to help a craptacular rotation out. Hell, the Mets are without their best arm (Pedro) and we're still ahead of the Bravos by a fairly decent margin. Can you imagine just how deadly this rotation's going to be when Pedro returns in August?

The fact remains that no matter how great the Mets do going forward (and a ton of folks see no reason why this won't get better in the future), this is and will continue to be the Yanks' town, even if the majority of their roster could file for Social Security and nobody would bat an eye. I mean, this team's sad. Even the Devil Rays feel sorry for these clowns right now. Nobody's hitting, nobody's pitching and I'm pissed for taking Mariano Rivera, thinking saves would be in the bag when he's not having spit to close.

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beware the wrath of Selig

We cannot work ourselves up about this new "revelation" that Giambi tested positive for amphetamines. Yes, sure, we all knew he was on something the whole time. If we knew $120 million was on the line, we'd do steroids and amphetamines too. Jesus, who wouldn't? – Deadspin

I think Jesus is the only person who wouldn’t eat everything in the medicine chest for enough money so that your children’s children would never have to work a day in their lives, and that’s only because Jesus didn’t have kids. I do find it funny that a former steroid user and baseball’s biggest critic among active players accidentally has his positive test for amphetamines leaked to the media only a few short days after his vocal demand for an apology from Major League Baseball concerning the juice situation.

Mayhaps Bud is drinking from Stern's pimp cup these days?

The most fragile fingers in baseball...

...have to belong to Josh Beckett, who was taken out in the fourth inning of what he was hoping to be his eighth win in as many starts. Unfortunately for him, at the time of his removal, the Red Sox were losing to the Orioles. The Orioles, however, in a surprising show of sympathy for Beckett, gave up their 5-0 lead in the 9th, allowing the Sox to win, 6-5.

At this point, one has to wonder why the Sux aren't either:

a. Investing in economy-size barrels of pickle brine

b. Coating Beckett from head to toe in Super Glue before each and every start (after all, if his skin is that tender, god only knows what's going to split next)


c. Getting Manny to pee on Beckett's hands instead of in the Green Monster.

Expect serious panic from Red Sox Nation in the days to come, especially when Julian Tavares volunteers to pitch double duty until Beckett returns.

Ted Williams knows you always have to protect your wood.

These days, clubhouse attendants serve mostly as drug mules for the millionaire players they associate with. Anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, Clenbuterol, amphetamines… you name it, and guys like former Mets clubhouse attendant Kirk Radomski get it for you. But while today’s players consume entire pharmacies, do you know what Ted Williams needed to bat .400?

According to Dan Dillman, a former Tigers visiting clubhouse batboy, the Splendid Splinter needed only, “the best five-pound box of chocolates you can find and a BIG box of rubbers.” Those were the days, kids.

H/T: Deadspin

Andy Pettitte has his security blanket back

That shriek of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" you may have heard earlier was my reaction to the announcement that Roger Clemens would be rejoining the Yankees in the near future. Apparently I am in the minority on this issue, because everyone else is so busy looking back to the Rocket's glory days with glistening eyes and expectations of another championship for the Yankees. Yes, I'd love to see the Yankees getting fitted with ring #27, but I don't think catering to the ego of an overpriced prima donna is the way to get there, and here's why:
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