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This is the archive for July 2007

When Bad GMs Make Moves!'s funny what a difference a month makes huh? A month ago, KG said no (bleep)ing way he lands in Boston. None. But then again, in the sports world I think something my Dad used to tell me applies and that is...

You can show me a lot better than you can tell me.

So much like Saban told us he wasn't interested in the 'Bama job before screaming 'Roll Tide' (have fun getting your ass kicked by LSU and the New Ball Coach in Gainesville by the by), KG has apparently changed his mind. So two former Celtics who have been flat out repugnant as GMs are going to make a deal that will look something like this...

Boston gets: KG
Minnesota gets: Al Jefferson, Theo Ratliff, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair & two future 1st round picks

That's what ESPN and every other sports junket would have you see. So here's what they're really getting...

Minnesota gets a promising young post guy in Jefferson, an expiring contract in Ratliff, a reigning Who Cares Dunk Champion and some putz that ESPN made a documentary about whose early career has amounted to a big pile of nothing. Yet another shining example as to why Stern put an age cap on the league. No more Telfairs polluting and diluting the quality of a once great league. Boston on the other hand, gets a big body that's on the downslide of his career and more than likely if all so happens to break right (which is a 80-90% probability with the crapfest that is the JV Conference) a trip to the Finals where they'll probably get snuffed out by the Spurs. I heard about this deal after I got out of work last night, then it processed early this morning and honestly, I'm furious. How dare the Celtics try and get good all of a sudden?! How dare they try to win a Conference Championship now?! Moreso, how dare Danny Ainge try to do his damn job after so many years of basically blowing The Truth's abilities and such. So now, we can all but safely assume that Minnesota will sink to the depths of the Best-ern Conference with Memphis and Crapamento. Boston actually has a better team than the reigning JV Conference Champions, but who in that conference doesn't? Still, if this doesn't scream about how craptastic the JV Conference is at present time, nothing will.

Tim Donaghy is the Pete Rose of NBA refs

In order to give credit where credit is due, Bill Simmons has written an excellent column about crooked NBA referee Tim Donaghy. The ESPN editors really pulled out all the stops to include relevant links, a YouTube link, sidebars of other Simmons columns… you know, the works. It’s an excellent wrap-up of the whole Donaghy point spread manipulation story so far, and its potential resulting effect on the NBA and David Stern.

This is worse than Pete Rose, worse than Barry Bonds, worse than Janet Jones Gretzky, worse than Paul Hornung… this is very bad for the NBA. In none of these other situations, the gamblers involved could affect the scores of the game directly in the way an NBA ref can control the scoring of an NBA contest. In football there are dozens of players on the field at once. Baseball is a game of fluke events where the results cannot be controlled without major collusion. But basketball?

There are questionable calls in basketball all the time. It’s a game that depends on the referee’s whims a great deal, considering any touch could be called a foul. Traveling is in the eye of the beholder (especially in the NBA, where a name player never gets called). Donaghy, as noted by Chris Sheridan, has a history of calling tons of fouls and thus, affecting the point spreads of the games he refs directly.

David Stern is chewing Tums and losing sleep as we speak, frantic that this FBI probe is going to reveal that Bennett Salvatore and Violet Palmer aren’t just shitty refs, but shitty crooked refs.

Yi Yi Yi, all the way home

You know, for a socialist/communist country in which the sacrifices of the individual person have always been important for the “greater good,” regardless of the practicality (see also Chairman Mao’s Cultural Revolution, in which teachers and intellectuals became farm workers and practically destroyed the country), Yi Jianlian and his handlers have shown themselves to be quite adept at the American athlete tradition of bitching about the team that drafted you in order to force a trade (see Eli Manning) and lying about your age (see every Cuban baseball player).

Yi’s people still don’t want him to play for the Milwaukee Bucks. Not enough Chinese people, too many fat people. Unfortunately for Yi, that’s who drafted him and who he’s going to end up playing for, because David Stern will not let Yi bitch and moan his way to another team (though the Bucks will probably listen to trade offers, which is wise because for all we know Yi is more like Wang Zhizhi and less like Yao Ming). Stern is totally right to do this, too. Do you know why?

Nobody wants to play in Milwaukee (unless they love sausages and beer, which means I’m trying to get traded to Milwaukee as we speak). Do you think anyone wants to play for the Clippers, or the Timberwolves, or any one of any number of woeful NBA franchises? Of course not; people want to win games.

Hell, most of us don’t want to work where we do, but we have to eat. If you want to play in front of a large Chinese population, then I hear Beijing is a good place to go. Otherwise, learn to love cheddar.

It's Maaaa-gic. No, Really. It Just Might Be.

"I feel like we're going to have a chance to maybe even get to the finals next season."- Rashard Lewis, press conference after being dealt to the Magic in a sign and trade.

The scariest part about this quote isn't the fact that he said it while sober and in front of all types of media. The scariest part about this quote is he might actually be dead on with it.

Yes, this is the sad, watered down, dilapidated state the JV Conference...consider it 'Parity Gone Wild'. No, Mediocrity Gone Wild. Looking at the moves that certain lottery and playoff teams have made in this off season, have me shaking my head with much disdain. Here was a conference that at one point in time had heavyweights like the Bulls, Celtics, Pistons, Knicks, Hawks and Heat among its elite.

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NBA unveils new mascot at draft

In an effort to appeal to a wider family-based audience,the NBA decided to enhance the circus atmosphere of Draft Day with an actual clown mascot:

The mascot is currently on loan to the Chicago Bulls.