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This is the archive for September 2007

An open letter to sports media

Dear Media Whores,

Before we jump in, don’t worry. I’ll find someone to read this letter to you, since I know most of you ESPN talking heads and newspaper columnists are actually illiterate. I’m looking at you, Stephen A.

Some observations from last night’s NFL opening game need to be made. There are observations I’ve made quite often and to quite a few people, but I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned them publicly, so I may as well get it out of the way officially. Some I’m sure I’ve said before in passing, but it’s my website, so deal with it.

The New Orleans Saints sucked before Katrina. The Saints have sucked since 1967. The hurricane did not make them suck any more than they already sucked, so stop pretending that the hurricane was anything more than an inconvenience for most of these players. The hurricane didn’t make them suck extra hard, all it meant was they got to suck in front of different crowds and in new stadiums unused to the black hole of talent that is Aaron Brooks.

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An Open Letter To Lloyd Carr

Dear Lloyd Carr,

Three words holmes...just three.

Update. Your. Resume. That's it. If you can keep your job after losing to Appalachian State, hands down the absolute worst defeat not just in Maize and Blue history, but in FBS history, I will officially label Michigan Northwest West Virginia because there are tons of dumbasses running around. It wasn't bad enough that Ole Sweater Vest has basically owned you since making the hop from Youngstown State (who he managed to pummel into nothing at the 'Shoe today) and your last few trips to Pasadena have ended in defeat (you've had Texas and USC to deal with, so I guess we can't quite hold it against you that they were better), you just had to be outcoached by some guy we couldn't pick out of a lineup with his own family reading off vital info about him? Damn dude, I think this just caps it for all Michigan teams as a whole and their drop into mediocrity.

- Detroit blew a 2-0 lead in May's Conference Finals and gave Cleveland its first Conference crown in franchise history.
- The Tigers ran through everyone a year ago before letting the 'we're just happy to be here' Cards do them in four straight.
- The Red Wings were dusted off in short order by the Ducks in this year's playoffs.
- People are still staging walkouts during Lions games. How pathetic do you have to be to have your fans staging walkouts to protest the ineptitude of management? And why hasn't this caught on in New York with the Knicks? I'd say Cleveland with the Browns, but they're Cleveland, they're the Browns and both go hand in hand.
- Michigan can't beat Ohio State or USC last year, gets blasted by both and follows it up with a less than good performance against an FCS team.
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