For those of you who paid attention to sports, and are possibly near Len, keep the sharp objects away from him or any Rutgers fan. I'm about to tell something shocking to all of New Jersey. They lost. As in not undefeated anymore. They lost to the upset kids of Maryland. Which isn't a surprise to any who know Maryland's history. And it gets better...
The defending SEC and National Champions, the invincible Florida, got destroyed by the kicker from Auburn. How bad is it for them. It's the first loss at home ever under Urban Meyer. Oh, and Texas lost. (Fuck all of you, at least it wasn't to Colorado.) However, the Oklahomos did too (To the classy fucktards of Colorado). As did Clemson to the vexing team of Georgia Tech (Just ask ND). Penn State (again, to Illnois of all teams...). Alabama lost to Florida State. Oh, and if you watched on Thursday, you saw West Virginia get owned by the newest emerging powerhouse named South Florida.
Hear that sound and that girlish scream... That's Lee Corso's anuerysm setting in, or Herbstreit doing the decent thing and putting Corso out of his misery. So, what did go right?
If you're South Florida, Kansas, USC, Ohio State, LSU, Mizzou, Wisconsin, California, Hawaii, Arizona State, Cincinnati or Kentucky... You're still undefeated. Oh, and Illnois and Kansas State only have one loss...
To address Ohio State and USC, you haven't proven shit. You played pussy teams. And that's just your own conferences. The out of conference teams aren't much better. Until you man up and play the teams that are undefeated with you, I'm still calling your status bullshit. However, UCal and LSU have actually convinced us how scary they are. And if Kentucky ends up as the SEC champion, the college apocalypse is complete. And you playoff system folks will get your system, too. After all of the teams they don't want to win winning...
So, look back on this if you want to make an arguement for playoff systems. And keep one thing still in mind. At least we all can do one thing together... Laugh at how shitty Notre Dame still is after five games, and we can laugh at Jimmy Clausen getting punked an entire season.
Some observations from the Louisville/Syracuse football game:
Let's see... go to a team whose star quarterback is a dog-fightin' troglodyte, or coach a team who is incapable of tackling a big dinner? Hmm... Bobby Petrino must be smarter than I thought.
After the game I saw a Louisville defender try to wrap his arms around a cheerleader, but he missed and she ran 47 yards for a touchdown.
Imagine how bad the beating would've been if Louisville had been playing a real football team, rather than the third-worst team in D-1.
"Mario Urrutia" is an anagram for "Tiara I Rumour." Think about it. When you consider Urrutia's diva-like play today, it fits.
South Florida, West Virgina, Rutgers, and Directional State University all play better defense than Louisville at this point.
Fuck the Cardinals, let's go Kentucky! 7-5 and a bowl game baby!
Blood on the Bluegrass: Kentucky versus Louisville
The running joke all week was that in the annual Governor’s Cup showdown between UK and the University of Louisville that the winner would be the last team who had the ball, because neither team could tackle a big meal, let alone a college football player. On one hand, you have Louisville, who gave up a ton of points to MTSU. On the other side, you have Kentucky who let Kent State rush for 350 yards.
Suffice it to say, the winner wasn’t the last team to have the football. No, the winner was the last team to score with the football. And that team, breaking several losing streaks, was the University of Kentucky, because of the legs of tailback monster Rafael Little and the arm of Andre Woodson.
First victory over Louisville since 2002? Check. First victory over a top 10 team since downing Penn State in 1977? Check. Awesome game that had everyone on the edge of their seat? Check plus.
The only drawback was a questionable call by Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe, who went for a touchdown on 4th and 6, rather than taking the field goal and the guaranteed points that came back to haunt Louisville in the end. Back and forth, big rushes from Little and great play from Heisman candidate QB Woodson, big throws from Brian Brohm to Harry Dixon (13 catches for 225 yards, usually in the middle of a soft Kentucky zone designed to prevent big plays).
It’s not a shameful loss for Louisville, but it’s bad. Their incredibly soft defense is going to come back to haunt them in the underrated Big East, especially when they head to Morgantown to take on the quadruple-threat rushing attack of Pat White, Steve Slaton, Noel Devine, and Owen “600lb Vanilla Gorilla” Schmidt. It’s going to be rough this year on the Cardinals and their too-skinny defense.
As for the Cats? Highlight of the year, and the win that puts them in a crappy bowl game (which, for the worst team in the SEC, is pretty good considering they probably won’t win more than 3 conference games).
Big 10 and Mighty Fighting Irish, My Fucking Ass...
Alright, for the next shortest post next to Chris's about Michigan... I'll just post a song...
Yeah, Henne went out with a calf and vaginal injury. Way to face the ducks, ya cunt.
Oh, and for the ND fans, I didn't miss you punks, either. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you bad talking about Emu Clausen getting owned for JoePa's yearly sacrifice...
Wait, I will.
If they did this with Brady Quinn and his shemale brother/sister, wait until the YouTards get a hold of ol' spike hair.
Next week. Michigan vs. Notre Dame. Somebody has to win... Right? Aw, fuck it. Cheerleader mud wrestling for the tie breaker. We know where those Michigan girls have been. And those ND Catholic girls, fugeddabout it. And you people wonder why I root for Texas... The only real winners are the ones without STDs, I'm afraid. That's right, the SB writing staff who won't be attending that game, much less watching it.
In a world where a coach's idea of "disciplining" his team is often the equivalent of a slap on the wrist, it's good to see that some coaches are still toeing the old-skool line.
I'm sure when Joe Paterno said that he was going to make his entire team clean Beaver Stadium after Penn State home games when some of his players got in trouble last April, people chuckled under their breath and said, "Uh-huh, sure, Joe, whatever you say..."
Silly them.
Not only did JoePa and his team show up at the stadium bright and early the day after their first game, he made them go back and do it again when they were done.
Because as we parents all know, sometimes a boy has a strange idea as to what constitutes "clean", and as GOOD parents and coaches know, if you let a kid half-ass his way through life, he'll never get anywhere.
For years, I've heard talk by folks thinking the Big Ten's better than everyone else. Mostly from folks out here in Buckeye land, but still, after what I heard while working Saturday... This is hilarious. Here is, in ranking of absolute power according to the great folks at Len Gotti Enterprises, your power rankings for the NCAA BCS conferences...
1) SEC. No contest.
2) USC & The Pac-9. Yes, I meant to write it this way.
3) ACC
4) The Big East. West Virginia, Louisville, Rutgers and company want all of you to know they're back and they don't need Miami and Boston College who are doing rather mediocrely in the ACC.
5) The Big 12. The South division is straight tough, but the mediocrity of the North is comparable to the JV Conference of the NBA.
6) The Big 10.
So how is the Big East greater than the Big Ten? Let L count the ways...
Sports fans with an attitude, SportsBastards is a humorous take on the life-or-death struggle that is sports. It doesn't matter who wins or loses, but if they cover the spread.
