Chris Berman wants to know, "What in the fuck do they think I'm doin'?" I suggest you answer him, less you find yourself getting JACKED UP! by Tom Jackson. Nobody wants that, not even Boomer.



JESUS Christ!

/drinks Diet Coke

H/T: Deadspin

01/31/08 | Posted by Ron | Category ESPNis 15 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |

HELLO THERE READERS OF SPORTSBASTARDS DOT COM. I AM STEPHEN A SMITH, AND I HAVE NOW BECOME ONE OF YOU.

YES, THAT IS RIGHT. I HAVE QUIT MY POSITION AT THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER AND HAVE STARTED MY OWN BLOG, WHICH YOU CAN GO LOOK AT BY GOING TO STEPHENABLOG.TYPEPAD.COM. PLEASE CLICK THAT BLUE UNDERLINED TEXT TO VISIT MY NEW HOME ON THE INTERNET. I FIND THIS VERY EXCITING!!! (SMILE)

NO, UNLIKE THE GENIUS THAT IS RON, I HAVE NOT BEEN BLOGGING LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT TYPEPAD IS NOT AS GOOD AS WORDPRESS, BLOGGER, NUCLEUS, OR EVERYTHING OTHER THAN NETGENIE.

WHILE I WILL NOT BE RETURNING TO MY HIT SHOW, QUITE FRANKLY, I WILL BE LAUNCHING A NEW SHOW IN WHICH I INTERVIEW WILD ANIMALS IN A CROCODILE HUNTER-STYLE MANNER. ANIMALS SEEM TO LOVE STEPHEN A SMITH. PERHAPS IT IS THE SOOTHING AND MELODIOUS SOUND OF MY VOICE THAT LULLS THEM INTO A SENSE OF SECURITY, BUT KNOW THIS! SHOULD ANY WILD ANIMAL GET ANYWHERE NEAR MY DELICIOUS CHEEZY DOODLES, AND I WILL BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH A SACK FULL OF DOORKNOBS!!!! PLEASE BELIEVE THAT!!!

DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THOSE BASTARDS AT DEADSPIN HAVE SAID. I WAS NOT FIRED. I DID NOT ABANDON MY JOB IN PHILLY FOR MY CAREER AS A HIGHLY PAID, WELL DRESSED NETWORK ANALYST. I SUBMITTED MY COLUMNS VIA BLACKBERRY LIKE I ALWAYS DID, BUT FOR SOME REASON THEY DID NOT GO THROUGH. I AM NOT DISTRESSED BY THIS NEWS, AS I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SIT IN MY MOTHER'S BASEMENT IN SOUTH PHILLY IN MY UNDERWEAR AND SPEW THE UNFILTERED, UNEDITED STEPHEN A SMITH YOU KNOW AND LOVE DIRECTLY INTO THE WORLD WIDE INTERNET!!!

PEACE, LOVE, AND CHEEZY DOODLES,

YOUR FRIEND STEPHEN A SMITH.

CLICK THE JUMP TO SEE MY ACTUAL BLOGGING, AND NOT SOME SLAVA MED-VE-DEN-KO CRACKER MAKING FUN OF ME!

01/31/08 | Posted by Ron | Category ESPNis 14 comments | Permalink | No Trackbacks |