It's a SKIPB Special!
Yet another SKIPB award, and this one’s a joint offering, compliments of myself and SB’s own Rich, who is currently hiding out in Arlington Stadium in his new role as Josh Hamilton’s stalker while waiting on the next coming of Nolan Ryan.
Today’s award is a two-fer, dedicated both to a player and his devotedly pathetic following. The player really needs no introduction, especially since he’s been the topic of just about every form of football-related media for the past few days. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Mr. Brett Favre—talented QB, heartburn sufferer
(and cause, if you probably ask any of the Packers management)--and now, big, fat, whiny crybaby.
It's SKIPB Award time again!
Time to give out another "SucK It uP, Bitch!" award
(aka the SKIPB)--and this time, it stays in-house.
This winner is known for his long-winded diatribes, his "guarantees" that fall through without fail, and his long and loud calls for certain job terminations, at least one of which he currently regrets. However, during the recent basketball playoffs, he earned himself this award by proving to be absolutely, completely and totally WRONG in all of his picks--and then trying to cover it up by jumping sides.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest recipient of the SKIPB: SB's own Len!
A few quotes from recent columns:
"You want a prediction, Lenstradamus will give it to ya. This goes 7. The Pistons steal one in Boston, the Celts figure out how to win on the road. Game 7, this time, the luck will run out for the Irish and they'll be left at home in a heap."
"I think the Lakers from a depth perspective in this series, don't quite match up to the firepower that the Spurs can bring off the bench at any given time. ...I'm going with the Spurs which means Stern's Ratings Nightmare will happen again, Pistons/Spurs in the Finals."
"The Lakers will win this series and simply put, I see Kobe closing this out in Boston, in 6 games...Get ready for the Lake Show, kids. Because Kobe's getting his crown back, like it or not. "
And then came that infamous Game 4...Oh, our Len was
singing a different tune now.
Sorry, Len, you pick a loser, you admit you picked a loser. You can't simply switch sides and hope nobody noticed. You blew this one big time, so why don't you just go ahead and ...
(say it with me, people)
"SUCK IT UP, BITCH!"
Oh, yeah--I've got your trophy attached to the hood of my Yankeesmobile. I'll give it to you the next time I run ov--I mean INTO you. ;)
It's SKIPB Award time again!
Yes, we've got another winner of the "Suck It Up, Bitch!" award, folks--and I'm sure you can pretty much guess who gets it this time.
For being ever so gracious in the face of defeat at the U.S.Open, the SKIPB award goes to...
...Serena Williams, who not only decided midway through her match with Justine Henin that she was going to lose, so why bother making much effort, but then pulled a flat-out sulk-fit at the press conference, declaring that Henin did not so much win the game as she (Serena) lost it, and that "I think she made a lot of lucky shots, and I made a lot of errors."
Yeah, like showing up at the press conference, you crybaby. Maybe you should have just paid the damn fine instead of letting the world know what a whiny-ass sore loser you are. Then again, maybe if you had decided to actually show up at the match, you wouldn't have had a problem with making an appearance at the press conference. If, as you say, no one can beat you when you're playing your best game, then why not try PLAYING YOUR BEST GAME?
If you can't stand the heat, get your ass off the court and go back to designing tacky-looking outfits. Leave the tennis to the people who want to play.
Got a SKIPB Award nominee? Email me at
[email protected], subject line: SKIPB Award.
ESPYs ain't got nuthin' on me
It is with great pride that I announce a new SB award of my own making, dedicated to honoring those in the world of sports who insist on blaming everything other than their own piss-poor performance, who spend more energy whining than actually working on their game, who seem to have a perpetual tree up their behinds in general.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present:
Jade’s Suck It Up, Bitch award, sponsored by Midol.
This award will also to be referred to as the SKIP B award, in honor of the biggest whiner in sports journalism today
(otherwise, we’d have to give it to him every time).
And the honor of being the first Suck It Up, Bitch award winner goes to…
