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This is the archive for August 2009

The Talented Mr. Ochocinco

When Jaime Sue told me about Chad Ochocinco kicking a field goal and then having a beautiful kickoff afterwards, I didn't believe it. I figured she'd had one too many adult sodas and was just talking crazy. However, as you can see below, her crazy talk was justified.

What impresses me the most is basically he went out there without practicing any kicks and not only drilled the extra point (which is easy) but also dropped the kickoff inside the 10 yard line. I think he must've surprised his teammates, which explains why they were so terrible on kick coverage. Well, they were surprised and they are Bengals.

So, two reasons they blew the kick coverage.

Respect The Favre-glomerate

Well...I guess he wants revenge after all.

Brett the Jet has now become Favre The Viking. a Giants fan, I'm legitimately worried. This is no longer just Adrian Peterson and the Vikes. This is now Brett, Ay Pee and the Vikes. This is no longer an offense run by two second string QBs, this is an offense run by the three time MVP.

Let us now count down until the first Vikings/Packers game, not the game at the Homerdome mind you, oh no.

I'm talking when he trots onto Lambeau Field for the first time as an enemy.

Valentine's Day In Flushing?

There reaches a point where as a fan, reality's too much to ignore. I sat in the barber shop yesterday and I read an article about the Amazins' of 1969. Growing up, Nolan Ryan was one of my favorite pitchers and this was before I even knew that 20 years beforehand, he was a Met. My lasting image of him throwing the headlock on Robin Ventura while rabbit punching him...priceless. Still, they just don't build em' like that anymore. The 1986 Mets, well, I was 6 at the time but they were juggernauts. I imagine by the time I turned 6, they were plotting out their playoff rotation and gearing up for the NLCS. Oh and that rotation I spoke of? Not one pitcher averaged LESS than 10 wins. Not one pitcher didn't have a K total that required anything less than a number in the hundreds column.

The bullpen was solid, with the dualheaded monster of Orosco and McDowell closing games. 43 saves between the two of them. So yeah, those weren't the "good ole days". Those were the "hot damn it's great to be a Mets fan" days. Those days continued on through the late 80s, unti 1990. Then, came the Mutts era...which went from my 6th grade year (probably 5th actually) until my Junior year of high school, which is when Bobby Valentine showed up. From 1997 on, the Mutts started showing signs of life. Finishing 2nd and averaging about 85 wins a season. Then, the breakthrough comes in 1999. After blowing the playoffs in 1998, they make it in 1999, losing to the Bravos in 6.

Then, 2000 hits. That team does the unthinkable, getting the Wild Card and making an improbable run. The rotatio wasn't as awe inspiring as 1986, but it was good. No starter finished with fewer than 11 wins, only Bobby J. Jones didn't strike out more than 100 batters. The lineup was formidable, only Mike Bordick didn't hit more than 10 homers. I'm thinking "title" after they win the NLCS. That was until the Yanks won the ALCS and then, reality hit HARD. The core of the team left and it went back to status schmoe mode, with Bobby V being exiled and the Mets went back to being the Mutts. Then comes Willie and 2006, breakthrough. First division crown in years, World Series is in sight. All they had to do was beat Saint Louis...

Which they don't do. Then, as if the Mutts weren't bad enough to sit through, the Mets go another way. They go into what I call "Chernobyl" mode. They start imploding after running away with the division for most of the year. They allow Philly to overtake them, twice in the last two seasons. While 2007 was grueling to watch, last season was just...ugh. I felt like Jigsaw was hosting the last 10 days or so, because it was rough to watch. If there wasn't a 9th inning, the Mets steamroll to the NL East. Alas, they couldn't even hold off the damn Brew Crew for the Wild Card. Which brings us to this year.

A Madden Wet Dream Come To Life...Wait, You Mean This Ain't Madden?

Maddenholics, rejoice!!! Your wet dream has become a reality. Michael Vick has signed with the Philadelphia Eagles for a year, with an option for year 2.

What? You mean this isn't Madden 2008? Shit.

Alright, since I'm sitting here listening to the Four Letter Network go ga-ga over this, let me give you the real you won't hear on any network. Or radio station.

Michael Vick To Launch Bird Fighting Ring In Philadelphia

So, Michael Vick is signing with Philadelphia. He's even landed a two year deal, probably on the cheap, so if/when this deal goes tits up Jeff Lurie isn't out much money. However, the moment the news came down on ESPN's coverage of the Cardinals/Steelers, the predictable comments came in.

"Oh, Philadelphia! That's a great situation for Michael Vick! There's such a good support group there. Andy Reid is like Jesus but fatter, but Donna Van McNabb isn't gonna like it! LOL!"

Well, first of all, let's deal with the support group aspect. Andy Reid... he might be a good coach (he's not), but the Eagles are far from a functional environment. First of all, Philadelphia fans hate even good quarterbacks; how are they going to respond when Bad Newz goes out there and throws his first pick, or bounces a couple of balls at the feet of Brian Westbrook? Because we all know that's going to happen, because Michael Vick is not a very good passing quarterback. He's got a serious arm, but absolutely no accuracy (and spending all that time in prison isn't going to improve his fade route accuracy, unless he roomed with Rae Carruth).

Donovan McNabb has no reason to feel threatened, and since he's friends with Ron Mexico, he won't care. Yes, I know that Donovan McNabb is a pussy when it comes to dealing with the pressure of fans, other players, playing quarterback, big game situations, digesting food properly, and Dancing with the Stars appearances, so maybe this will bother him. Eventually. Just not tomorrow. Besides, as often as Donovan gets hurt, he should accept that the team needs a decent backup and not run Vick out of town like he did Jeff Garcia. Even AJ Feely gives Donovan nervous gas; how's he supposed to react with a former All Pro behind him?

But Andy Reid? He's not the support system Vick needs, even with Tony Dungy doing the hard work for him. Andy Reid can't keep his own children off heroin. Andy Reid couldn't control the strong personality that is TO. Andy Reid can't manage the clock, either, but that's for another time. Andy Reid couldn't keep his easily-rattled quarterback from having a freakout at the end of the most important game of either of their careers, but Andy Reid is supposed to keep Mike Vick out of trouble while Vick gets LOTS OF FREE TIME in a big city?

Yeah, right.

I know Jaws is up the ass of the Iggles, and that's fine. He played there back when their quarterbacks didn't projectile yack Chunky Soup in the huddle. Still, someone should've called him/ESPN out on this Eagles fellatio session. But no, Andy Reid's a nice guy and he'll soon retire to join the broadcasting booth as one of 15 guys on NBC's Sunday Night Football Halftime Orgy, so no one wants to risk out on losing his services.

Stupid fucking move by the Eagles. I don't care how good Vick will be in two years' time, he's going to start damaging the team IMMEDIATELY just by being there. It's a matter of when, not if.

A Quoteable Wrap-Up

So now...we get to the proceedings this evening. Your long awaited, "NBA Wrapup Column" by your favorite SB :-) The Lakers won the title, defeating the Magic in a fairly ho-hum Finals. Why was it ho-hum?

A) The Magic, while being a very good team, did not have what the 2004 Pistons had going for it when they faced the Lakers this time. The Lakers then, had turmoil from within and were self-destructing. The Pistons were at the right place, at the right time. One shot deal, as evident by the fact that they only won ONE title. In spite of the fact that they returned the following year, they were not a better team than the Lakers.

While Orlando's style may have confounded Boston, Philly and Cleveland...none of them had Kobe and three seven footers in their frontcourt. When the bombs didn't go off for Orlando and their defense couldn't really do much with Kobe and was a wrap.

B) Kobe would not be denied. People saw once and for all, why Kobe's the best player in the Association until further notice. Kobe was set on winning it all and not having an oh-fer in the column in the 'Life Without Shaq' Finals category. There wasn't a man alive (Super or not), that was going to stop Black Mamba from striking early and often. I think once Orlando blew Game 2, they were out of it. Oh and for those who think it'd have been different had Cleveland made it, try something foreign and just THINK. Perhaps the Kobe/LBJ duel would've been great, but in the end, LA's supporting cast more than trumps Cleveland's. It's like having an Ace high to a Royal Flush. There's not enough bluffing in the world which changes the end result. So...

What now? Let's get with the significant moves that will alter the landscape and those which in retrospect...won't. Oh and since Sports Guy went all quotes with us, I'll try to do the same only from movies which folks know.

Get Out The Chapstick, It's Favre Time

It's amazing. The best summation of Favre and the Media, and I found it over at KSK. I guess anything is possible! Though, to be fair, they have been the leading source of anti-Favre sentiment, even before hating Brett's Wrangler-wearing ass was fashionable.

My only problem with the video is that, if TV has taught me nothing, it's that sportswriters can't not be on TV without screaming. Just ask Stephen A. Or better yet, don't.

Because I'm An Insomniac, It's My Birthday And I'm Bored...

A few things before we get into the proceedings this evening...

1) It's my birthday today. The lone day out of the year I DEMAND to be left alone. Why is this important? Reread the first sentence fragment, it'll guide you well young grasshopper.

2) I don't like American Idol. I like it even less when I can't watch an episode of Sportscenter without seeing one of these putz's on my damn television.

3) Just in case Jade's curious, I'm not about to start calling for Manuel's head just cause the Mets are in a tailspin. Too many injuries at virtually the exact same time, can cripple ANY team. Am I still pining for Bobby Valentine to come on home? Yeah, but I'm realistic to realize there are a great deal of spinally challenged folks within the organization who don't want him back there. But I digress.