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"I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger."

First a guy gets shot in the butt in an off-campus gunfight with drug dealers, then we have kicker-on-kicker violence break out in D-II Northern Colorado of all places. Now 5 hoopsters get shot on the campus of their Catholic university.

What’s next? The NCAA having a heart for once? The New Orleans Saints with a winning record? Oh… oh my God… The Rapture is upon us!

These truly are the end times, gang. Make your peace with the God or Gods of your choice, and hurry! My personal choice is Jobu. Jesus? I like him very much, but he no help with curveball. PITTSBURGHPolice searched for a man who shot five Duquesne basketball players on campus early Sunday after a dance at the student union, leaving at least two of them in critical condition.

Two players were walking near a dormitory and encountered a man who apparently had been disruptive at the dance, authorities said. The players tried to calm the man and walked away but were shot. Players who rushed to their aid were also shot.

The gunman and a group of people with him were not students, a university official said.

In critical condition were forward Sam Ashaolu of Toronto, a transfer from Lake Region State College and a cousin of former Houston Rockets star Hakeem Olajuwon; and Stuard Baldonado of Colombia, a transfer from Miami Dade College who was considered the school's best recruit.

Also hospitalized was Kojo Mensah, a guard from New York City who averaged nearly 17 points last season at Siena College before transferring, school officials said at a news conference Sunday. His condition was not available.

Treated and released were Shawn James of New York City, the nation's leading shot blocker last season at Northeastern University before transferring to Duquesne; and Aaron Jackson of Hartford, Conn., a guard who is one of only two returning players from Duquesne's 3-24 team last season.

Witnesses reported seeing two guns, said university president Charles Dougherty, but he couldn't confirm whether both were fired. The second gun was seen on someone in a group with the gunman, Dougherty said.

Six to 12 shots were fired, he said. He did not know what sparked the violence.

"What motive can there be for unloading a pistol into a group of students?" Dougherty said.


Northern Colorado backup punter Mitch “Shanks” Cozad was not available for comment, but it’s worth nothing that he does not an alibi. Neither do the Miami Hurricanes or professional wrestler Jerome “New Jack” Young, for that matter. I think the list of suspects just got surprisingly short.
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