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This is the archive for September 2008

The Return of Me-O

Hey TO, did you get the ball enough during Sunday's loss to the Redskins?

"I would say no. I'm a competitor, and I want the ball.

"There were some opportunities there, and there were some opportunities there where they were holding and the refs just didn't call it. You can't blame the refs; we just didn't make the plays.

"Everybody recognized that I wasn't really getting the ball in the first half," Owens said. "I'm pretty sure everybody watching the game recognized it, people in the stands recognized it, I think my team recognized it. I didn't quit. I kept fighting and trying to running my routes and trying to get open."

The Cowboys, per their official blog, ran 58 offensive plays. They threw to TO 18 times, and gave him the ball twice on end-around rushes. Yet he didn't get the ball enough. I'm not a math major, but isn't that over 33% of the plays called directed towards one person?

Right. This is why people don't like you, TO. This is why you're not a real Cowboy. The only thing Michael Irvin complained about not getting was his fair share of cocaine. Other than that he did his part to help the team win. Obviously targeting you 20 times isn't helping the team win, because, uh... they didn't. I'm surprised you haven't thrown Tony Romo under the bus yet. But hey, there's still time!

Bucs kicker Matt Bryant's three-month-old son passes away

The three-month-old son of Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant, Matthew Tryson Bryant, passed away in his sleep this morning. He was born on June 16th. Bryant kicked a game-winning field goal on Sunday versus Chicago, and has made five field goals and eight extra points so far this season. He has the third-longest kick in NFL history on his record, a 62-yard field goal to beat the Philadelphia Eagles in 2006.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Bryant family at this time. We wish him and his family the best in this trying time, and we look forward to seeing him back on the field soon.

... your wish came true

Didn't your mother ever tell you to watch what you wish for? I know a lot of you out there were wishing allll last year long for Tom Brady to break a leg, tear a ligament and today it appears you got your wish (though for many of you it came a little late).

For those of you who failed to watch football today, Brady got hit and hit hard during the first quarter of today's game against the Kansas City Chiefs and by the pain on his face -- you know it hurt a lot.

Now, we're hearing the rumors come flying in that Brady has torn his ACL and will miss the rest of the season. Yes, you can hear the tears pouring out from those in Patriot Nation, almost as loud as when the Pats lost the Super Bowl last year. But there are fresh tears joining theirs this time around, fantasy football team owners who wasted a valuable fantasy football draft acquiring Brady.

Now, I am not a Brady fan. I'm definitely not a fan of the cheating Patriots (especially when they're beating my chargers), but I have to say I'm among those who can't believe I will be faced with dropping Brady once they officially say if he's out for the season. So, why many of you may have gotten your wish -- please be careful what you wish for next time. Think of the innocent victims -- Fantasy Football Team Owners (cause we're who really matter). There is no consoling us when we're faced with the dismal QBs (like Jon Kitna) to replace Brady with. But your apology would be welcome anyway.

LaRon Landry Meets Deebo Jacobs

This is why I picked up Brandon Jacobs in the SportsBastards Fantasy Football League.

"You got knocked the FUCK out!"

Vince Young Wants To Put His Meat In Your Greasy Mouth

I can't wait for this informercial!

vince loves sausage

"After sucking down many many sausages in my life, from my first wiener at summer camp when I was 12 to the kielbasas I swallow today, there is nobody in the NFL today who has smoked more meat than me. That's why I started Vince Young's Meat Company. No matter what kind of meat you want in your throat, from Vienna sausages to footlongs, I can find it for you and stuff it into your facehole. I personally have sampled every length and flavor of meat I could get my hands wrapped around, so I know what qualities you're looking for no matter your appetite. I wouldn't stick it between your buns if I hadn't eaten it myself first!"

Something tells me that LenDale White is VY's best (and only) customer. Then again, unless VY is slaughtering 150,000 head of cattle a year, there's no way he can keep up with the human food dumpster that is LardDale.