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Denny Green says: "You are who I think you are!"

When an NFL Head Coach melts down in front of the press after a devastating loss, it’s more than entertainment--it’s an art form! NFL Coaches know how to blow their stack, and do it with style so that it will be remembered for years to come--or at least until next week’s game.

Monday night, after his Cardinals were gobbled up in the second half by a ferocious Bears defense resulting in a Chicago come-from-behind 24-23 victory, Dennis “Denny” Green stepped up to the podium and unleashed a forty-second flurry that still has sports fans buzzing. With new quotables like, “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!” and “If you’re gonna crown them, THEN GO AHEAD AND CROWN THEY ASS!” it’s no wonder Denny’s inspired his Arizona Cardinals to a stirring 1-5 start.

That’s right Denny, the Bears were who you thought they were--the fucking Bears. And you were who they thought you were--the fucking Cardinals. The more I think about it the more I’ve come to believe that the Bears offensive machine wasn’t broken on Monday Night--they’ve just gotten so good they’ve decided to start tanking plays on purpose to dig themselves a hole just so they can have a challenge.

And so, after the game Denny assumes the position and delivers his meltdown in glorious fashion. Watching it reminded me of some of my favorite head coach meltdowns from seasons past. So, feeling nostalgic, I did like any other idiot with a keyboard does when they’re feeling nostalgic--I clicked over to Youtube to have my fill of some of that “good stuff.”

Now, this montage is hardly adequate in displaying the cream of the crop when it comes to tirades, it’s still a fun slice of history that I’m sure you people will enjoy, with Denny’s tantrum thrown in for good measure.

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Football being the steroid-loaded testosterone fest that it is, it has always amazed me that there aren't more coach-meltdowns. Hell, baseball and basketball coaches have WAY more hissy fits during any given season. What's up with that?

Posted by Jade at 10/19/06 00:27:55

You're right, Jade. NFL coaches, with only 16 games to a regular season, aren't given ample opportunity to really lose their shit. It's a crying shame. But then again, perhaps that's exactly why NFL coach meltdowns are so special.

Posted by JK at 10/19/06 00:47:18


Damn right they are who we thought they were... Da mutha-fuckin' Bears!!!

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