Are you ready for some college football?!!
So, let's get to an important week in NCAA Bullshit Championship Series. And see which teams are who they thought they were.
As you know from the 'Cast. And if you don't know. FUCKING LISTEN TO IT! You'll laugh, and it's better than others who're rippin' our shit. *cough*KSKDrewMagaryandMMP*cough*
Okay, college football after the jump! We already saw Ron's favorite Viagra Toads of TCU stomp the hell out of some Stormin' Mormons from BYU. Sorry, Steve Young, no chance of another championship for them.
Also, Len's favorite team to insult, FSU, beat NC State.
Oh and the Warriors of Hawaii haven't been the same since Run and Shoot Jones left, and Colt Brennan is in the NFL. The Blue Turf of Boise State got another one.
So, let's get to the shit we care about...
The Texas Plus Suffix Game
#7 Texas Tech @ Texas A&M
Tech is only number three in the Big XII South behind two very good teams. The Cowboys of Oklahoma State and the Longhorns of Texas. They're headed to College Station, won't matter. Give me Tech by two TDs. Aggies are 0-7 in their last seven. It's all Red Raiders, all day. And an easy romp for them until they get the brutal four in a row of Kansas, 'Horns, Oklahoma State, and the Oklahomos.
Geek School Last Stand
#22 Vanderbilt @ #10 Georgia
The Commodores got a bit cocky against the Bulldogs of Mississippi State and got a hard bite and a loss. This week, more Bulldog fun as they go to the land of Uga and the Georgia Bulldogs. Even as a homer, I can't go with Vandy. Just can't. Georgia made it look easy against the pathetically weak Volunteers. Vandy's got a fighting chance, but they've got Mackenzi Adams as the #1 QB. Which he's not bad with a 121.63 rating, 2 TDs and 1 pick. Hopefully the pocket holds, and Mac can bomb it all day. However, this is the Georgia D he's taking on. Close game, Georgia by a TD, as much as it'll break my heart...
The Nutt vs. Satan, and a prediction to go wrong
Ole Miss @ #2 Alabama
Okay, folks... Our SB Coaching Messiah, Houston Nutt, gets his own version of a trial in the desert. Only, he's going to Tuscaloosa to face on Football Satan himself, Nick Satan. Sorry, Nutt. At least you get to fuck over Arkansas soon, but Satan's not happy that he's not the coach of the Number 1 team. Alabama by a ridiculous score, by conventional means. However... UPSET FACT: This is the same team that teabagged Tim Tebow and Florida. SB Jesus, I BELIEVE! Nutt might pull it off. FG at best.
The Oklahomos Revenge Tour
#16 Kansas @ #4 Oklahoma
The Jayhawks are Number One in the Big XII North. They're a one loss team. In fact, Joe Q. Fan didn't see this one happening. Now that you're out of your rock... The dream might be over fast. Oklahomos are at Memorial Stadium at Norman. They've won the last 21 at Norman, and they're winners of the last four against Kansas. Considering that Sam Bradford is a bit pouty over the fact that the Colt of Texas is over him in Heisman voting. Expect him to throw like Brett Favre, only weaker and more picks. Still, Oklahoma wins, probably by a TD.
Another Fucking Squash
#6 USC @ Washington State
Why do I bother? The HACK-10 is so pathetic, we need to sub in an actual competitive division. USC by a lot, and they'll weasel in and pay their way to another bowl...
Little 10 Matchup
#12 Ohio State @ #20 Michigan State
What I want to happen and what will happen are two different things. What I want to happen: Michigan State stomps the fuck out of tOSU. What will happen: Sweater Vest will use his Sith Powers to get calls his way, the score will be run up. It'll be business as usual as the refs look the other way. Ohio State by 2 TDs.
ABC Matchup of the Night
#11 Missouri @ #1 Texas
Missouri is coming off a stomping by the Oklahoma State Cowboys. Chase Daniels threw himself out of Heisman contention in one game. And he'll try to reclaim his right in this game by throwing more. However, he forgets that he's going to Darrell K. Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium in Austin. The Colt of Texas looked good in the Shootout, and he's going to look better this week. Texas by another 10 points, just because.
Stat Girl's Game of the Week
Nebraska @ Iowa State
Well, we can't say that Krissy is a terrible picker of teams, nor her boyfriend. Nebraska is a team of tradition. So, we get to look at this one a bit deeper. The Huskers at 3 and 3, which isn't bad in the Pros, but probably no bowl for them. They're in the middle of the Big XII North, which will be a hard sell. However, today, they take on the ol' Iowa State Cyclones. Which will be an easy one for the Huskers, because the Cyclones are bad... As in bottom of the Big XII North bad. Only Colorado is as pathetic, but Colorado has one more win. Huskers by 10.
That's the picks, folks. And if I'm dead wrong tomorrow, won't be the first time, will it?