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Prison Blues vs Orange Jumpsuits: The Nail in the Coffin

Five days ago, I said that the Chargers were going to have to really up the ante if they wanted to catch up to the Cinciattica Bengals. Deltha O'Neal does not want that to happen, so he took one for the team. That's right, less than a week after Reggie McNeal got arrested, Deltha O'Neal, Pro-Bowl cornerback and former Tennessee Titan, got himself arrested for, get this, a DWI.

I can't speak for anyone else, but unless Lorenzo "Leslie" Neal starts killing hookers and Phillip Rivers turns out to be a cannibal, this race is over. Cincy's plan of attack, piling on a lot of little offenses, has worked to perfection, and I just don't think the Chargers have the ability to put a stop to the relentless assault. Just like Frostee Rucker's wife, the only thing you can do is to stop struggling and accept your fate.

It's spectacularly damning evidence, when you see it in chart form, and I'm not even going back to December 2005 like ESPN is, just counting this season. Just since the start of training camp!

The official scoreboard, as always, is below, along with additional interesting commentary from yours truly.

Cincinnati Bengals

Total Arrests: 9
Team Leaders:
Chris Henry (4, multiple offenses bonus)
Odell Thurman (1)
Mathias Askew (1, Taser bonus)
Reggie McNeal (1)
Eric Steinbach (1, boating while drunk)
Deltha O'Neal (1)

San Diego Chargers

Total Arrests: 5
Team Leaders:
Steve Foley (2, former Bengal, multiple shooting bonus, multiple offenses bonus)
Terrence Kiel (1, felony drug charge bonus)
Shaun Phillips (1)
Markus Curry (1)

The lead is growing, and I think it's time for Marvin Lewis to pull his all-star all-crime starters and start putting in the substitutes. Maybe Shayne Graham would like to snort coke off a stripper. Maybe Justin Smith wants to rape a horse. I don't know, but it's time to let Chris Henry rest. He's a man, not a crime machine.

This thing is getting out of hand, and you don't want to run up the score if you can help it. After all, there's only so many times a guy can make bail before they stop letting him out of jail, and you've still got to hold out for the playoffs.
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Doesn't Deltha get a bonus for being McNair's former Designated Drunk Driver?

Posted by Rich at 12/09/06 20:46:11

No, no. Steve didn't kill anyone, so it doesn't count.

Posted by Ron at 12/10/06 21:09:08

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