Prison Blues vs Orange Jumpsuits: Late-season Heroics
WHO DEY?! WHO DEY?! WHO DEY THINK GONNA ARREST THEM BENGALS?!
Going back to the official scoreboard, this puts the Bengals into a tie with the Chargers for team members arrested AND into a tie for total offenses once the Chargers bonuses are factored in. The Bengals still lead in total arrests, thanks to team MVP (Most Volatile Prisoner) Chris Henry, but with the seriousness of the Chargers offenses and the amount of bullets buried in Steve Foley, it’s still anybody’s race.
It’s neck and neck, gang. Who’s going to step up and close this race out one way or another? Will Carson Palmer have somebody whacked? Will Phillip Rivers get caught attending a lovely Tijuana donkey show? Will the pressure of running an offense that doesn’t come straight from the 1950’s give Marty Shottenheimer a stroke? Will Shawne Merriman take out a bus full of nuns with his idiotic sack dance? Will Marvin Lewis kill Chris Henry for repeated team distractions?
I couldn’t begin to tell you who had the inside track here. One team has the numbers advantage, the other team has the serious offenses advantage. One team has ample access to drugs, booze, and loose women. The other team is within driving distance of Tijuana. This is one battle for supremacy that will go down to the wire.
EDIT 12/5/06: I missed this at the time, but Bengals guard Eric Steinbach has also been arrested for boating while drunk on the Ohio River. The scale's starting to tilt, folks.
Check the totals below.
Total Arrests: 8
Team Leaders:
Chris Henry (4, multiple offenses bonus)
Odell Thurman (1)
Mathias Askew (1, Taser bonus)
Reggie McNeal (1)
Eric Steinbach (1, boating while drunk)
Total Arrests: 5
Team Leaders:
Steve Foley (2, former Bengal, multiple shooting bonus, multiple offenses bonus)
Terrence Kiel (1, felony drug charge bonus)
Shaun Phillips (1)
Markus Curry (1)
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