Nick Mangold's Giant Sister Crushes Feminism.
Thank God for someone being honest for once.
Unlike feminists, who present with a narrow-minded and myopic view of what it is to be a woman and a feminist, Holley Mangold, sister of New York Jet center Nick Mangold, doesn't want to be seen as some crusader for gender equality in a sport in which, let's be honest, 99.999 out of 100 women in the world aren't fit to play. Hell, 99 out of 100 men in the world aren't fit to play it either.
Not to pick on those dumb feminists, but they need to realize something. Title IX has nothing to do with allowing a woman to play a man's sport, or vice-versa. Title IX just requires schools to spend a lot of money on women's sports that don't create revenue. Holley Mangold, no matter what condition her genitals are in, is a football player for three reasons, which I will list slowly below the cut.
1. She's 5'10 and 300lbs. Where do you find this in high school? Or more appropriately, where do you find this somewhere outside of the Dungeons and Dragons Club and the all-you-can-eat pizza line?
2. She can squat 525lbs., which is a record for girls' AAU weightlifting. Again, girl or not, this is pretty impressive. It's always impressive when you set a record of some kind, be it squat-press or juggling flaming chainsaws. She's squatting roughtly 1 1/2 times her body weight. Granted I can do that, too, but then again I'm not 300lbs.
3. She likes hitting people with her massive bulk. This is the most important requirement for a football player. Girls' sports, in general, aren't contact sports. She obviously likes pancake-blocking boys her age, and obviously she's not that bad at it, otherwise they would have cut her and not played her both ways on the JV team.
Unlike some places, the NFL has no rules about being male as a job requirement. If Holley Mangold grew another 4 inches and was the best guard in the country for Ohio State, like I think she'd like to be, then she could be starting right next to brother Nick on the Jets offensive line once she's draft-eligible, and I for one wouldn't blink. Do you know why?
The NFL doesn't care about your race (which is why they stopped turning good black quarterbacks (Warren Moon, Antwaan Randle El, Mercury Morris) into wide recievers, and started turning good white quarterbacks (Drew Bennett, Matt Jones) into wide recievers instead of turning bad black quarterbacks(Kordell Stewart, Michael & Marcus Vick) into wideouts. The NFL doesn't care how dumb you are (Vince Young misspelled his own name on the Wonderlic Test). The NFL doesn't care how long of a criminal record you have (The Bengals & Chargers, most of your Miami University alumni). The NFL doesn't even care if you're a known steroid freak (Justin Gatlin, the world's fastest steroid-injecter).
The NFL asks one question and one question only: can you play football? If you can play football, they'll find a roster spot for you. It's as simple as that.
She doesn't have to be a crusader for women everywhere, because if more women wanted to play football, then there'd be more women playing football and demand would create football teams for women (there are already professional football teams for women, so the future's still there for Holley). Feminists want to force every woman who does something outside of the norm for their gender to be some kind of crusading freakshow they can trumpet as an example of equality between the sexes, and that's why I'm anti-feminist.
If a woman wants to be a crusading freakshow, good for her. Let them use her for their agendas. If a woman wants to work, good for her. More power to her. If a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mother, then watch as the feminazis beat down her door and call her a traitor to her sex for taking on a role she feels is best for her children. If Holley Mangold just wants to be a football player, then if I were you, I wouldn't critize her. After all, she's a big ol' Ohio football-playing gal who can squat 525lbs. and isn't afraid to knock somebody on their ass.
That's not the kind of person you want to piss off, ovaries or no ovaries.
Posted 11/29/06 by Ron | Filed under: General Sports
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