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This is the archive for March 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day from SB, myself, Irish Mickey Ward, and the Dropkick Murphys. One of my favorite bands ever, and my favorite boxer ever. Two great tastes that taste great together! Enjoy, kids. Tomorrow, the official update on the SportsBastards March Madness pool will be posted. Until then, rock out, possibly with your cock out.

If you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em

The Dwain Chambers saga continues, as the muscle-bound sprinter eased to victory in his 60m heat at the World Indoor Championships. And the debate over whether he should be allowed to take part in such events rages on. Why? What's to discuss? Surely, if you're found taking performance-enhancing drugs, you should be banned for life. Saying that Chambers has learnt his lesson doesn't take away the vein-popping muscle mass he developed when he was gulping down steroids with his breakfast, does it?

Perhaps to even things up, he should be subject to a few performance-unenhancing measures. So he'd have to smoke a bong full of weed for twenty minutes, down two pints of lager and a Big Mac Meal, spin around till he's dizzy and then race with his eyes shut. If he still manages to qualify for the finals, who can say he hasn't earned it?

Len On Da Association (What You Won't Hear On ESPN Or TNT)

This is what procrastination gets me, a better blog than the previous one I had written.

There have been a bevy of sports events that have been worthy of my wrath and will get it over the next few days/weeks. From Favre’s retirement and his place within my very own book of All-Time Greats to the $20 Million Dollar remake of Rocky III at Wrestlemania 24 between Floyd Balboa and Thunderhips. (Oh and for anyone who thinks that boxing isn’t dead, consider the fact that your best boxer would rather fight a dinosaur posing as a wrestler than fight some no-name just for kicks.). Oh yeah, I feel the need to debunk the whole concept of pinning ribbons on teams for doing stuff in free agency before a single down is played the following year. (This is more geared towards these Cleveland yokels, but again, another rant for another time.) Today class, Len E. Jersey will educate you all on the NBA in light of all these trades and signings as folks scramble like mad for the O’Brien Trophy.

First and foremost, let me debunk the whole “MVP Race” and moreso, LeBron’s place within it. STOP MENTIONING HIS NAME AND MVP IN THE SAME BREATH PEOPLE. He himself said he’s got no chance if Kobe hasn’t won one YET, so why are you all feeling the need to hype this boy up so much? (Rhetorical, don’t answer that.) I mean, seriously, can anyone in the class give me a great reason why if I’m David Stern, I give the MVP trophy to a guy who’s probably looking at the 5th spot in a below average conference over the best player on this or any other planet whose team will probably be one of the top three in a far superior conference? Can anyone justify LeBron being handed the MVP trophy over Kobe when if the Cavs were in the West with the record they have right now, they’d be debating who they draft with their lottery pick? (Waits.) Didn’t think so.

Secondly, I got a few trades to plunk through but I’ll do that individually.

Phoenix- Great move dumping the unhappy Matrix for the Big Cactus. I understand there’s some considerable backlash because you’re going against the ‘Phoenix equals 100 plus points and they’re exciting on offense’ grain, but listen to me. That’s gotten you a whole lot of nothing, FAST. I tell ya right now, what these “experts” are doing in more or less pronouncing you dead and Steve Kerr a moron, is great. Know why? Because come playoff time, it will only motivate the Big Ring Magnet to do what he does when he gets angry and properly motivated. Win rings. While I won’t say Phoenix is the favorite in the West, this move DEFINITELY gets them closer to that title than before. Speaking of getting closer…

The Lake Show Returns- In hands down, the second greatest sports robbery I’ve witnessed (Dallas sending Herschel to Minnesota for magic beans that became 3 Lombardi trophies being #1), the Lakers get Pau Gasol for what in my mind more or less translates to less than what I paid for my lunch that I’m eating right now. ($4 in case any of you were curious and this burger’s probably done more in its existence than Kwame ever will.) Again, these “experts” are quick to make the Lakers the favorites and all told given what was in place before Kupchak went all Ski Mask Way on Memphis, even I’m hard pressed to argue with it. Mitch, unlike certain GMs, heard his star’s gripes and he responded the only way he knew how. Wait until the very last possible second and he ensured that Kobe stayed put. He now has a very good core to surround Kobe Bauer with through his prime and now, one has to wonder if Kobe will indeed catch Jordan for the most rings by one player with one team.

Brett Favre Retires

I could make a huge article. A huge deal. Even a huge crying fit.

At the end of the day, it's probably not enough. I'm just keeping this short and sweet and letting the readers say what they will about Brett.

You weren't the greatest. You weren't the most accurate. You were the toughest. You were the most fun to watch. You are legend.

Good ride, Mr. Favre. We'll miss you.