The Sissified Rant
I know…I know…Len’s never EARLY with any column. But this year, I am. I’m going to write the column which I hold above all others I write, but before I go there, I need to speak on something.
(Trust me, it’ll segue rather nicely to the column at hand.)
Saturday afternoon in a game that very few, if any cared about, Rutgers beat Army in OT. The top story in that game however, was Rutgers DT Erick LeGrand being paralyzed from the neck down. Okay, no big deal, freak occurence. Turn the clock forward a little over 24 hours later to the game of football where its competitors are handsomely paid to do it before packed houses and such.
Body after body it seemed was getting carried off, due to some Super High Impact Football style “Somebody get a BODY BAG!!!” hits. At the center of this storm in terms of hits were Dunta Robinson of the Falcons (his hit took out his intended target and himself to boot), Brandon Meriweather (can’t say this guy wasn’t watching classic NFL shit, he was headhunting Todd Heap in a way that would’ve made Jack Tatum smile) and most notably of the bunch, former Defensive Player Of The Year James Harrison. Ask Mossaquoi and Cribbs how interacting with him went this past Sunday, if they can recollect it. Both left the game with concussions. In light of all this, the NFL decided enough’s enough. Well, enough’s enough if we intend on these guys living through an 18 game stretch plus playoffs starting next year.
Because if you’re thinking there’s anything beyond that motive behind this sudden “enforcement” of rules that I wonder if they were even on the books from the get-go…you’re either delusional, stupid or working for the league offices. Not to get all John Witherspoon here, but the whole damn world’s gone sissified on me.
WWE’s taking a hard stance on chair shots to the noggin and blood in its matches. (Nothing to do with Linda McMahon running for Christopher Dodd’s Senate seat, by the way. Wink wink.) Vince is even doing his best to help, asking folks to “Take A Stand For WWE”. Really Vince? You expect us all to just MIB clear of you having your son-in-law feign screwing a corpse? (It’s late and I’m too lazy to look up the technical term for such a grotesque act. :P) You expect us to forget that you actually booked an I Quit match where it was you against your daughter Stephanie, a match that ended with you choking her out with a lead pipe causing your wife to throw in the towel? Yeah, I wouldn’t stand for that shit if I had stacks of hundred dollar bills under me. Your wife deserves to lose, if for no other reason, subjecting us to that Billy and Chuck bullshit.
NBA’s getting even more sissified, even though their measures are probably more Draconian than the NFL. Starting this year in what can only be deemed “The Rasheed Wallace Rule”, any NBA player that so much as bad eyes a referee is getting T’d up. I’m going over 4 playoff series that end up getting tilted the wrong way because of this rule and I’m probably going to be wrong there. “So Dave, your refs may be crooked and have their own agendas. What are you going to do to crack down on this?” “Well, I’m going to give them the power to turn games to their own personal agendas by calling technicals on any player that gets a little too demonstrative after a foul call.”
Brilliant! Well done, Commish. Bud Selig thinks that’s fucking moronic and he’s the guy who thought the best way to get folks watching the All-Star game, was to put homefield in the World Series on the line. Basically rendering the 2nd half null and void for reasons other than to decipher homefield within each league. Equally as brilliant, Commissioner Goodell taxing men for giving the fans what they pay to see (as barbaric as it might be) MONTHS before a possible lockout. Yet, we want MORE GAMES going into the next CBA. Look, I’ll cover each of these potential Billionaires vs. Millionaires deals as such… NFL
– I just want a rookie cap. I’m sick of seeing these clowns come out, hold out and then do next to jackshit when they get on the field. Earn your pay. The NBA has it right in this regard, 1st rounders get a set amount depending on where you get picked. 2nd rounders? Play your way to a pay day.
– NO NO NO NO NO to 18 games. Roger, you say you want late season games to matter, right? Fine. Keep it as is, schedule more divisional contests. Say you’ve got a deal where one team’s more or less in a weak division and has it wrapped before Thanksgiving. Think they’re going to go all out for games 15, 16, 17 & 18? Especially if they’ve assured themselves of homefield in the playoffs and a bye week? FUCK NO. Oh by the by, if just one week of hellacious hits is giving you the willies, imagine EIGHTEEN GAMES of this shit plus playoffs. (Never mind the preseason being short two games and the opportunities those no-names are going to miss out on to make an impact or impression for some potential employer.) All about the Benjys, right Roge?
– Eliminate the Rasheed Wallace Rule. I’m telling you Davey, it’s going to really compound a problem you haven’t fully addressed and it’s not going to make it go away. You’ve got a Zebra Issue and giving them more power (think Donaghy’s not wishing he weren’t still in the league for this upcoming season?) to send stars to the showers before halftime, isn’t what your product needs. ESPECIALLY a year before you potentially have a work stoppage. You’ve basically sissified the game to the point where teams like Dallas and Phoenix can average a little over 120 a game in their sleep. (Yet and still with these rule changes, defense is still the prevailing order of the day come playoff time, so what does that tell ya?)
Alright enough on that. Time to get serious. I will do this upcoming preview in two parts. First one covers virtually every move that has or will be made over the upcoming year and its potential impact (positive and negative) on the franchises involved. Second one will cover the Lakers and every direct threat I perceive to their title (trust me, it won’t take long). This 2nd edition comes complete with playoff predicts and of course, my pick for the 2010-11 title and I can assure you…Miami won’t factor into it. First part will tell you why that is, aside from LeBron.