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An Open Rant On The U of M...

Courtesy of a FSU fan.

Greetings. I'd like to congratulate the U of M for making this college football year for me personally, that much more enjoyable. How's that you ask? Well, not withstanding the opening season win over the University of Morons(Fl.), my year was capped off with FIU pulling the Who's hoe card in the OB [as spoken by former Miami alum and currently unemployed moron, Lamar Thomas] this past Saturday. This past Saturday all but cemented with the sad little bow on top what the rest of the world outside of Miami has known for years, since the Ohio State/Miami Fiesta Bowl.

The 'U' is dead. Long live the Who?

You see, ten years ago, an FIU player's not crazy enough to do what triggered that little bitchslapping fest complete with helmets being swung that didn't connect with anything. Ten years ago, the mere sight of those white helmets would've been enough to make FIU curl into a fetal position. Ten years ago, Miami jumping up and down on Louisville's logo would've been enough to send Louisville back into their locker rooms in terror.'s enough for them to put a beating on Moron U for even THINKING of disrespecting them in their own house and getting away with it. Oh and who can forget about that beatdown after the LSU mugging at the Peach Bowl in late December last year?

Fact is, the 'U' is finished. Done as the mystique of the Black Hole in Croakland, the Yanks in October and the Red Wings as Titletown USA. They're as jurassic as the dinosaurs in that park and even they had to go sometime.

But what has me laughing harder than anything else, even harder than the fact that F-I-'Nobody knows this school other than the parents whose rugrats attend this school because they couldn't crack the Who's criminal record requirements or potential to achieve one'-U punked out Miami in a game Miami how only ONE Moron (Fl.) player's suspended "indefinitely" while the others are "suspended for one game".

*Checks the next game for Moron(Fl.)*

Next opponent...Duke. That's not a damn suspension, that's a damn reward. You're kidding me, right? They get into a brawl against FIU and these morons at the Who really think suspending players for a Duke game is...punishment? That's not punishment, that's a damn reward.

Donna Sha-dumbass can get in front of a bank of mics and tell the world that the U isn't what it was many years ago and she's right. They're not the badasses from Florida that got off of planes for bowl games in fatigues and had 'Swagger Scarves'. Hell, the damn swagger's been replaced by a druken stagger that's fooling nobody. Not even FIU and basketball power LOUISVILLE's afraid of it anymore. If I'm a Duke player right now, I am seriously licking my chops right now.

Fact is, if the University of Morons(Fl) was a Top 5 or 10 team, nobody's talking about this. Hell, even when they were a Top 5 or 10 team, this wasn't happening. Why? Cause while they were thugs, they were successful thugs. They did their talking on the field, minus the swinging of helmets and jumping around like morons because they "won" a fight with lower than Tyson right this second FIU. Celebrating a "win" against FIU in a poor knockoff of a fight from the Warriors is nothing to be celebrating. It's like celebrating taking the lunch money from a retarded kid or kicking a one legged man's ass in an ass kicking contest. an FSU fan whom the Ole Ball Coach once called Free Shoes University, I can sit back and laugh knowing that as mediocre as my favorite school's football program might least we don't have Jabroni U players punking our guys out on the field. And at the very least when we were getting those 'free shoes', not one damn helmet had to be swung. Holla.
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I think having a woman president at the U has taken away their collective balls.

Posted by Ron at 10/21/06 03:16:51

*gives Ron a smeksmeksmek*
Feh, you can't take what's never been there in the first place.

Posted by Jade at 10/21/06 03:26:07

Bah, they've always played with machismo until they got Donna Shalalalala in as President. Then all of a sudden they play with no guts.

Posted by Ron at 10/21/06 12:38:37

Of course they don't have guts--if they had guts, they'd actually BE in jail instead of hiding out in the college Witless Protection Program.

Posted by Jade at 10/21/06 13:05:53

I think it's unfair to call Miami a university. People in Honduras make fun of the U. So we should refer to it as Miami High School and even then that's a stretch. It's a halfway house.

As for the President being a woman I'm not sure. But Lamar Thomas has my vote for English speaking moron of the year.

Posted by The Critic at 10/21/06 17:33:31

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