Laboring Rants Or Rants About Labor Day...
- I'm angry over Rutgers losing the game to Cincinatti. I'm fairly convinced that the Knights are indeed ready for a Big East Championship this year, but I'm just flabbergasted how they let Pike just put their defense on one and then some yesterday. I mean, I'm no Defensive Coordinator, but come on...if I see they're giving me a No Back look, simple math applies. Five men on the line, can only block five (four D-Linemen, plus a linebacker), so rush 6. Do anything to disrupt the timing that QB has with his receivers. When you don't, 47-15 thrashings with a QB throwing for over 300 yards are sure to follow. Crying shame too for Rutgers, as it was at home and a win could've given them a Top 25 ranking.
- Florida State. I have very few teams in the nation I flat out "hate". The Who aka Da U, would be right at the top of that list. I can't stand the Hurricanes. Cannot with a capital F'N 'C'. I don't think I've ever liked them and quite honestly, I don't even respect them. Last night, I cut the game off when FSU jumped up late in the game for as it turns out, the final time. In seeing the final sequence unfold from the 2, FSU deserved to lose that game and damnit, I hate saying that. I hate reading it. I hate ADMITTING IT. A win over the Canes would've been great, if for no other reason, it's the damn Canes and it's a conference win.
Now, you're one in the hole and a suddenly Top 10 BYU looms on the horizon IN PROVO no less.
Fun. Still, in spite of Virginia and Duke's inability to beat FCS schools over the weekend, the ACC has four teams in the Top 25. Two more than the Big Ten, which everyone loves so... oh right, nobody likes them. :P
What else is on my brain? Uhm...AH YES. Man-dummy.
- Can someone please tell that Cleveland coach that keeping your starter a secret only works in one of two instances...
A) You're incredibly good and you're something past deep as far as depth goes (which clearly isn't the case here)...
B) You've got two QBs who have two vastly different styles. (Say for instance, Vick and McNabb in Philly)
Neither applies when we're talking about Brady 'I married AJ Hawk's sister" Quinn and Derek "I'm A Great Example Why Nobody Gives A Shit About The Pro Bowl" Anderson. Neither of these men are going to make any of the 11 men lining up against them Sunday shit themselves. No one on the Viking staff is quivering at the sight of either of them jogging out to take the first snap from scrimmage Sunday afternoon. Face facts Clown fans, Mangini's not the second coming of Belichick. Bill may very well have doomed your franchise the second he sent Kosar packing (I will explain the Franchise QB Theorem in my NFL Preview) in 1992 (I think). As for Detroit naming Stafford the starter, I'm cool with it for the following reasons...
A) He's starting for a team that lost 16 games a year ago. That's like shooting blanks at a gangbang. There's nowhere to go BUT UP from here.
B) He has talent around him. Calvin Johnson can catch anything under the sun and honestly, I don't think they're as bad off as most believe.
C) 0-16 won't happen twice. It will not.
But going back to what I'm not cool with...Shawne Merriman. - Anybody else get the feeling that his HGH thing was just the beginning of the end for him?
I mean, I didn't realize how young he was (only 25, could've swore he has been around a lot longer) and yet, I can't help but feel this impending doom is encroaching upon his career. As in we're nearing the point where we're going to be talking more about his failures rather than his career successes as it were. His latest faux pas had him strangling and restraining "Reality TV Star" (three worst words of the English language to have slapped in front of your name, other than former Child Star or Porn Star) Tila Tequila. (Oh yeah, can't forget the ever epic and this hits me as Don Tony talks about Kelly Kelly fucking virtually anyone under the sun...) Didn't She Fuck or Wasn't She With.
That's right. Mister HGH is dating She Who Could Not Find Love On Her Own Damn Reality Show, which puts her in a special class that includes Flava Flav and Tiffany BKA New York aka That Crazy Bitch Who Will Have Her Name Appear On A Police Report. I mean, you're Shawne Merriman. You're in California. Not Ohio, not West Virginia or even some podunk state where the only pretty women are tourists (and even those are few and far in between). You're in Cali. It Never Rains In Southern California! The ratio of pretty women to man is like, 5 to 1. You mean to tell me, HGH done a number on your mind to the point where TILA TEQUILA is the best you can come up with?!
Proof positive ladies and gentlemen that all the money in the world cannot buy common sense.
Other random things on my head, uhm...oh yeah, I actually got to watch some College Football over the weekend. Here be a few of my random things...
- BYU will have a tough road if they want to be the latest "BCS Busters". Oh and in case anyone's the least bit curious, yes, I'm confident this school can and will win on New Year's Day if they get the opportunity. (Little thing to remember, this is one BCS Buster that has a National Title on its resume, so as long as they stay in the Top 10, they're fine.)
- Oklahoma's season and national title aspirations may have gone down with Bradford just 72 hours ago. I don't expect Idaho State or Tulsa to threaten OU in the least bit, but unless Landry Jones is better than anyone thought, I think The Who's going to beat em' in Miami. Oh and by the by, I really don't like Oklahoma. I think of them as Overrated University, while Ohio State is Overrated State. Which reminds me...
- The Suckeyes. When you're incapable of blowing out a service academy at home, there's something wrong. When it takes an absolutely ill advised throw on a 2 point conversion to save your ass, you need to take a look at yourselves in the mirror and question how much of a legitimate threat you are to the National Champions. USC has beaten you 6 straight times and quite honestly, I've got no reason to believe or think you won't make it 7 straight on Saturday. The Trojans are better and they're probably going to beat ya in Columbus. The Trojans have enough weapons on both sides of the ball to conceal the fact that there's a freshman walking into The Horseshoe this Saturday night. Have fun.
Oh and I don't think I've ever truly stated the #1 thing that irks the shit out of me as far as college football goes...but in case I haven't, here it is...
- Florida beat Charleston Southern over the weekend by say, a lot. I know that Virginia and Duke lost to William & Mary and Richmond respectively, but really, did anyone blink when it happened? Hell, if this was the first you heard, did you do a double take? It's hitting a point where if someone loses to an FCS school, nobody really cares since Appalachain State embarrassing Michigan in the Big House two years ago was the ceiling. Nothing's topping it. Still, I'm confused because the last time I checked, there are a SLEW of schools in Florida. I mean, I'd rather check out a ticker and see Florida throttling FIU or Florida just sodomizing Central Florida. But really, are you really forcing folks to PAY to see the two time National Champions obliterate a 'Happy To Be There' school from the we're not One Ay division?
I'm not sure why it took Dick Vitale to go off on this topic earlier this morning for it to set me off, but I agree with him. It's bad enough you're not paying these young men to play in front of these fat cat boosters and the like. It's bad enough you're charging rather ridiculous prices just to watch these folks play. But come on, people. There are more than enough 1-A schools to go around so that everyone can play everyone. Especially when you take into account states like Florida, Texas and Ohio that have smaller schools that could use the exposure and help in recruiting that comes from playing a Florida, Texas or Overrated State.
September's here and due to teams being pathetic beyond our control, we have no Pennant Races to keep track of. Fun, eh? There's only a handful of games seperating the Wild Card chasees from their chasers. History has shown the past few years, the World Series Champ has been a Wild Card team. Of the teams pushing for it this year, San Fran just strikes me as that team which would scare the begeebus out of me (if the Mets were playing in the postseason mind you). Cain and Linecum are a devastating 1-2 punch at the top of that rotation, making them virtually unbeatable in a short series. I think the rest of that rotation is formidable and I dunno, they just strike me as one of those teams where everything would click at the right time and they'd roll through to the World Series. Just like the team that they're looking up at right now, the Rocks did two years ago. Still, I'm just not convinced anyone's beating the Cardinals (especially now that walking Pujols is out of the question) or Dodgers in the National League. I'm simply not sold on Texas being a viable playoff threat, unless they become totally oblivious to the pressure of September baseball the way Tampa tuned it out last year. That ballpark has to be virtually the only one I can think of, that actually removes the concept of "Homefield Advantage" because if a team like the Yanks walk in...oy. Launching...Pad. Aw hell, let me talk about wrestling right now since that too...is on my mind.
- Rather than talk about how God awful WWE Raw, WWE's "flagship show", the "longest weekly episodic TV show", let me say this.
If you're a fan of wrestling/sports entertainment, you should agree with me on this regardless of your personal opinion of the product. But the fact is, right now, sports entertainment NEEDS TNA to get better as a whole and it NEEDS to threaten Raw on Monday nights. I've thought about this off and on and ya know what? You can't be #1 without a #2 to measure yourself against. That's just fact, people. Would we care how great #1 Florida was if there was no #2 Texas to measure them against? Fuck no. Right now, the only remotely watchable wrestling show on television is Smackdown on Friday nights. WWECW, that show on Tuesday nights is nothing more than the E's developmental system. It is to the E what the NBDL is to the Association.
Wrestling NEEDS TNA to get better and from what I've seen, it's close but they've got a ways to go. Oh and before folks go there with the whole "they're taking a shitload of WWE castoffs", guess what? WCW did it in the mid 90s and they didn't do too bad, least until January 1999 that is. I can look at TNA right now and amidst how utterly moronic they are with their booking, Raw really isn't much better. Seriously people, I can look at TNA right now and tell you at least TWO names that they're attempting to turn into main event level stars. I couldn't do that if I tried with Raw right now. I can tell you that Raw has a slew of folks that are waiting, but right now, they're doing just that. WAITING. TNA's attempting to make new stars for fans to identify with, now for those of you uninitiated, allow me to explain. "Making new stars" in wrestling is much the same as it is in any sport you love. In football, it's the equivalent of bringing along the heir apparent to a star QB who's getting up there in age. Baseball, they're call prospects. Basketball...okay, there's no real technical term for it in the Association (that I know of) but still. TNA right now recognizes it has to do it, because the bulk of their upper echelon are 40 and older or nearing 40 (I think Kurt's at or close to 40). Raw...I dunno. I'm not sure if they're so high on themselves they feel they're beyond this, but well, HBK and Triple H aren't getting any younger. Hell, HBK took the rest of Spring and most of the Summer OFF after his 10 Star Classic with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania in April. (Which IMO, is the greatest match in Wrestlemania history. You'll hear most mention Savage/Steamboat from Wrestlemania III, but seriously, watch HBK/Taker from WM XXV. From the entrances to the match itself, out of this world great.) Cena's fairly young and I'm convinced he's the new age Hulk Hogan for this beany bopper generation. Randy Orton is what his daddy never was, a big time draw as top heel, similar to what his dad was which led to him headlining Wrestlemania I. Only Randy's been champion a few times over, give or take off and on over the last two years.
(Oh and by the by, I'm going to dedicate one column to TNA alone. I'm a man about solutions and I have a few which in my mind, within a year will help them not only become relevant, but help them move to Monday night and seriously push Raw in the ratings. Wrestling fans need a viable second option to watch on Monday night and unfortunately, ROH aka Ring of Honor is NOT IT.)
Still, right now, while there's talent on Raw of the young variety (Kofi Kingston's the United States Champion, reminds me a LOT of a young Ricky Steamboat with his in-ring style), you don't see them. They don't have anything creatively speaking for Kofi, never mind the fact that they've got a LOT of great young heels or fairly young good heels he can work with. But you don't know how good Kofi is (I'm anti-face/good guy and even I respect what he does in the ring, I'd be seriously shocked/disappointed if I ever tune in to Raw and I see Kofi acting like a heel. In his career, he shouldn't EVER be portrayed as a bad guy.), because Raw's creative group can't think of anything. The Miz, yes people if you're familiar with MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge it is HIM, is a very good heel. In-ring stuff needs work, sure, but he is very good at getting people to boo him. You don't see him on Monday nights. He doesn't have a storyline. Had a lot of positive momentum a few months ago with his calling out of Cena, until they had Cena snuff him out in a series of matches rather unceremoniously. Oy. Since then, he lost a "Loser Leaves Raw" match on I believe, the night of my birthday a month ago. He returned by winning a Pole Match against a returning Eugene (yes, the big retard who Triple H bloodied and beat senseless at 2004 Summerslam and Angle more or less massacred a year later at the same event, which I personally marked out for) under the guise of a mask and the name "The Canadian Kid". He vowed a week later to complete his remarkable comeback by becoming United States Champion.
We haven't heard or seen anything from him since. Get my point? Okay, Orton/Cena is basically a feud we saw two years ago, at about the same time of the calendar year. Only difference is, Orton is the champion and Cena's giving chase. Hell, just 72 hours ago, Raw ended with Orton giving Cena an RKO onto a steel chair much the same way he did two years ago on an edition of Saturday Night's Main Event. (That time, the chair collapsed, unlike on Monday when Cena just hit the chair and collapsed on the mat.) Their match Sunday is an I Quit match, with the stipulation being if anyone interferes on Orton's behalf, Orton loses the match and the title. (Goes in line with how Orton kept the title last month at Summerfest, but I digress. Yes, I know the name of the PPV is Summerslam, I'm just mocking Jeremy Piven's misfire on Raw last month.)
I'll get to this at another time, but yeah. I think that's all I'm burning on for now.