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Talking To Myself About...

Rather than do something "usual" to kick start my 2009 bloggings, I wanted to do something different. I got this particular idea from a local writer named Terry Pluto, who writes for the Cleveland Plain Dealer (the only local paper I'll actually buy). Every so often he'll write a column where he's actually talking to himself about random sports related issues. Today, yours truly shall do the same thing. Len shall go one on one with...Mister Grimey on the Giant Meltdown (literally), the Truth About The Cavs and why Winters are longer than they should be (kidding). Mister Grimey (MG): So, have you got your 'Fire Coughlin' chants ready to roll or are you waiting until the G-Men go about two years without another ring?

Len/Me (L): I said Coughlin was spared after he brought the Lombardi Trophy back to NJ where it belonged. I stick by that.

MG: So I guess you were right after all about the Giants not repeating. Going 1-4 after Cheddar Plax was banished, not good. Especially for a defending Super Bowl Champion.

L: Nope.

MG: So is this the part where you spin to the blogesphere that it's hard out there for a pimp? Especially one that's trying to go back to back as Super Bowl Champion?

L: No, I was pretty clear that without a #1 receiver, it'd have been hard on any team to repeat. I think Eli missed a great opportunity to bypass his bro as the best Manning by winning a ring without a playmaking threat but...

MG: There's always next year, right?

L: Yeah. Thankfully the NFC's not loaded to the brim with heavyweights and all the Giants need is a playmaking receiver to solidify that offense.

MG: Don't forget bringing back the two key elements of Earth, Wind & Fire. Ward and Jacobs can walk as unrestricted free agents.

L: They'll come back. They shouldn't be stupid like Mitchell and Wilson were, taking a payday over the opportunity to win another ring.

MG: For someone who seemed certain they'd fail miserably this year, you sure last year wasn't the ceiling for this team?

L: Not by a longshot. I think as long as Spags stays, the defense will be solid. They've gotta get younger in the middle, A.P.'s not getting any younger. Kiwanuka's starting to show me why he was a first rounder and Reese is no dummy. I've got faith in his ability to plug holes.

MG: Shame that they've got a slew of #2s and no receiver capable of stepping up to be a #1.

L: Indeed. Fact is, Coughlin didn't adjust his gameplan accordingly to fit what was working for him and that, moreso than Plax's departure is why the Giants are done.

MG: Someone must've forgot to have let him know that he had two 1,000 yard backs on his roster, plus a real mauler like Bradshaw. They looked sad yesterday afternoon, wind or no wind.

L: Right.

MG: Alright, enough on those schlubs. Say, speaking of schlubs. How's about Man-genius going to Cleveland?!

L: (Dead-pan) Are you serious?

MG: (Grinning) Yes.

L: You realize how sad it is watching some of these morons to the fifth power trying to justify this as a legitimate hire? Or how much worse it is that Randy Lerner really believes that Man-dummy's the second coming of Belichick?

MG: I feel bad for you. Thoughts on Bill Callahan being the next head honch of the Jets?

L: If that happens, the Jets are dead to me. Seriously. I'll throw on my Brady jersey and become a full blown Pats fan.

MG: You said that when they let Herm go and you gave Mangini a shot.

L: Yeah and I think I should've trusted my gut on that one. The pieces are in place for the Jets to win, but the coach has to be able to make it work. The coach has to make Thomas Jones and Leon Washington more intrical parts of their offense. They've got to figure out how to get Favre to come back for one more year, while being able to have his successor on standby.

MG: You like Kellen as Brett's replacement?

L: Mmmm...ehhhh...

MG: I'll take that as a no.

L: No definitive answer right now is my official stance.

MG: Alright, here's one I KNOW you're ready to go off on. The Cleveland Cavaliers are the...

L: Most overhyped, overrated team in the HISTORY of the NBA.

MG: Wow.

L: I'm serious. I've had it with this shit. I mean, let's call a spade a spade shall we? They've got one of the top 3 players in the NBA in LeBron James, correct?

MG: Top 2 in my book, 1B behind Kobe.

L: Okay, they've got Maurice Williams, really good point guard from the Bucks. Used to kill Cleveland with Milwaukee, now he's helping to alleviate SOME of the pressure off of LeBron offensively.

MG: He's their second option on offense.

L: That's gonna kill them come playoff time...yet so many of these so called experts, aren't saying it.

MG: Where's Charles Barkley when we need him?

L: Driving at breakneck speed to get head from his female companion, but that's another story for another time. Ben Wallace is still decrepit, Z's really old and honestly, this supporting cast is STILL SUSPECT!!!

MG: But they're tied for the best mark in the league?

L: (Rolling eyes) Surely you jest. This schedule had them beating OKC, the Knicks, Philly and Milwaukee twice within a two month span. They barely got by Washington on Christmas Night and go fig a few days later, they end up losing to the Wizards.

MG: On a controversial...

L: Don't go there damnit. Bottom line, they're suspect in every sense of the word. Maybe they get through the regular season fooling everyone and their mama into thinking they're legitimate. Bottom line is, the playoffs is the ultimate lithmus that exposes you for the world to see. That's why the Lakers fell short in the Finals last season. It exposed their weak will for all the world to see. Last year, the Cavs lost because their supporting cast couldn't help LBJ against the Celts.

MG: But it's...

L: Still the same, only with Mo Williams running the point. Oh and drafting Hickson was a horrendous decision by the Cavs. Koufos was the better choice and he's averaging 5.4 PPG compared to Hickson's 3.9 PPG. Kosta could've given them a legitimate body in the middle against Boston, not to mention an offensive presence on the low block.

MG: But J.J.'s got some great upside.

L: Stop. Bottom line, the media's got a hard on for LeBron and if this keeps up, he'll be handed the MVP trophy they want him to win. Much like it was in his rookie year, when he was handed that trophy despite Carmelo doing more to warrant it legitimately...he'll get it.

MG: So?

L: I think the NBA MVP's starting to resemble the Heisman Trophy in that it's good for the regular season, but it will result in you being exposed come the playoffs. If LBJ wins it, do NOT be shocked if we get another Olajuwon raping Robinson type of showings in the postseason.

MG: And who do you have cast doing the unthinkable to LeBron?

L: The most forgotten free agent in that 2010 class. The only man on that list to have a Finals MVP award on top of an NBA title and a Gold Medal. D-Wade aka The Punisher.

MG: Flash.

L: Meh, I don't like Flash as a superhero nickname for Wade. It's not fitting for a man with ice water running in his veins. The Punisher fits, cause he kills with little to no regard for human life. If there's one man who has that Jordanesque ability to take a team's life out of them, it's Wade. Ask Dirk and the Mavs. Ask whatever team draws him in the playoffs this year. Miami's gonna be scary if everything remains as it is now, mark my words.

MG: So you're not sold on the Cavs ending the year as the best team in the league?

L: They're not even the best team in their conference. Besides, recent history's proven that finishing with the best mark in the league doesn't equate to being the last team standing in June.

(TBC...)
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