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Awww-Burn?

Auburn University had a bad year this year, culminating with a humiliating loss to Alabama in the Iron Bowl. This coming after six straight wins over Alabama, guess it had to end sometime. So you figure, Tommy Tuberville who has had more good years than down in his tenure at AU, steps down. Maybe he resigned, perhaps he was forced out. Either way, he's gone. Now you figure, this isn't Auburn Tech or Auburn A & M scrapping to get the local station's attention in terms of national exposure. This is Auburn University we're talking about. Member of the SEC, which last time I checked, has a television contract with The Big Eye network. They were unbeaten four years ago and aren't exactly struggling to get recruits. Point being, this school shouldn't have a problem finding a SUITABLE replacement for Tommy Tuberville.
I mean, Tennessee got Lane Kiffin who came from the Pete Carroll coaching tree. Hell, his daddy's one of the best defensive coordinators in the NFL and he's coming too. Rocky Top found itself a suitable replacement for Phillip Fulmer, whose voice just got dimmer after its national title. Go fig. Okay, back to Auburn. Auburn's got a great facility, but more than that, it has a rising power in Alabama. It has Nick Saban, who ran the table during the regular season with what most experts are calling his least talented team in Tuscaloosa. So to counter this, you need a coach who can go into homes and go toe to toe with the likes of Nick Saban.

Auburn, with its resources and the like...turn to Gene Chizik. (Crickets chirp.) Yes, Gene Chizik. For those of you unaware, Gene Chizik was the head man at Iowa State. The very same Chizik who "coached up" the Cyclones to 10 straight losses to close out the 2008 season. (Crickets stop chirping.) The very same Chizik who went 5-19 in two years as head man as...(Crickets are trampled by angry Auburn boosters.) Uhm, yeah. This guy is the new head man, but wait. Apparently he was the defensive coordinator for the aforementioned 2004 team and just one year later, had the defense which short circuited OU and USC en route to a national title. So alright, he's a great defensive coordinator. So what can we safely conclude? From the two seasons he spent as a coordinator, compared to his two as a coach, he's more than capable calling a game from the box rather than the sideline. Iowa State if nothing else, is probably glad they won't have to fire this slug. They can turn their attention towards someone who can lift their beleagured program from the dregs of the Big XII North, while Auburn has to hope and pray that with a better roster, Chizik can prove everyone wrong. Sometimes you find yourself asking 'what were they thinking' with some moves. I ask... Were they even thinking with this?! Here are the 8 men that were interviewed for the job, according to ESPN.com's article on this.

Ball State's Brady Hoke (they like Alabama, were unbeaten until a title game loss), Buffalo's Turner Gill (handed Hoke's Cards their only loss of the year in a MAC Title game that was thought to be a walkthrough for BSU), Wake Forest's Jim Grobe, Louisiana Tech's Derek Dooley, TCU's Gary Patterson, Miami O-Coordinator Patrick Nix, Georgia assistant Rodney Garner and two other assistants you may have heard of.

Florida State's Jimbo Fisher (next in line when Papa Bowden steps down) and Texas' Will Muschamp (whom the New Ball Coach might want to hit up for tips on how to slow up OU's offensive attack). So out of these 8, minus the last two since they most likely weren't about to leave their present spots, there wasn't a single guy on this list that could get the job done better than Chizik?! Wow. Couldn't find a Pop Warner coach in a local field to take the job? But if nothing else, there are people in Alabama who are overjoyed with this decision. Unfortunately, every last one of them are wearing Crimson. Roll Tide, indeed.
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AU "Leaders" i.e. Bobby Lowder has had an ax to grind with Auburn Head Football Coach Tuberville for years, all he was waiting for was one poor season under Coach Tub, so he could whip out the old ax on Tub! Sadly, Lowder ALSO managed to kill the entire AU Football Program for the foreseeable future with the same swing of the ax (of course he didn’t swing the ax, that takes balls, so Lowder the Coward had others do his dirty work and push Tub's to quit...or else! Just so Lowder could settle his petty, sick and twisted personal score against Tub's...likely because Tub's came out of "Lowdergate" (Petreno scandal) the hero, and Lowder looked like the dumbass power hungry booster who loaned the plane of the bank he works for! (Uh, hey Bobby, that's the Bank stockholders plane, not your damn personal toy!) Lowder thinks he's the King Lordus of AU. Way to kill AU football "King Louder Lordus Dumbass." This is more proof that money does not make you one bit smarter, but it can sure allow you to screw good things up --- and really fast! Just look at Lowder, who should be banned from AU for life, but no person involved in a Leadership capacity at AU has the balls to stand up to Lowder; what a bunch a chicken-shit "Leaders" AU has for "Leadership" that they let one Montgomery Banker pull all their strings while they all sit and shiver like scarred kittens! SHAME ON YOU LACK LESS "LEADERS", YOU TOO SHOULD RESIGN FOR NOT LEADING...YOU'RE ALL FOLLOWING! Coach Tub’s thanks for all your fine work over the many years and for ALWAYS running a clean program we could be proud of. Hold your head high, you did nothing wrong, you got screwed! I hope you enjoy your $5 million, and I hope it all came right out of Lowder's PERSONAL pocket, and NOT Bank money called "booster support" or "sponsorships" or "donations" etc.! As for you Lowder, I hope and pray your Bank Board looks at every single dime you blow/spend, and they fire you! Or the SEC investigates you (both SEC's!) as well as the IRS! I'm sure your dirty work doesn’t stop with Coach Tuberville! I'd be willing "BANK" on that...just not at your Bank! I moved my multi-million dollar company and my personal banking out of your Bank as soon as I learned of your meddling ways at Auburn years ago and I'll not return until you are long gone!

Signed, Sick of King Lowder

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