Eduardo's Floppy Foot
Every time I see this injury, I'm in real danger of spraying the room with half-digested cornflakes, so I thought I'd share it with you (you can thank me later). However, the news that Arsenal's Brazilian-born Croatian striker Eduardo is going to be out for nine months got me thinking about what he could do during that period of recovery. Then I remembered how shit my team, Newcastle, are at the moment, and it suddenly made perfect sense. He should play up front for Newcastle. Even in a wheelchair he'd be better than the bunch of jokers we've got at the moment. While we're at it, we'll have Professor Stephen Hawkin in goal.