An Open Letter To The "Rebuilding" Evil Empire...
Dear Rebuilding Empire,
Congratulations for pushing the most successful manager of the Steinbrenner Era out the door with your "last ditch" effort. Now sure, I'm
certain a few Yankee lemmings will defend the decision and offer, while trying to tell themselves *as one or two have here* that you're not done. That you're merely in a state of "rebuilding" and that "seven years of postseason failure" doesn't constitute a decline. Well, here's the thing...
we get that you're the most storied franchise in all of sports. On par with the Canadiens in hockey, Lakers in basketball and the Cowboys and Steelers in football. But here's the one thing all of you have in common...
With the exception of the Steel Crew, all of you are hanging your hats on past success and the rest of the world does not care. Montreal's gone through umpteen different coaches and haven't seen a Stanley Cup since I was in the 8th grade. The Lakers haven't been the same since Shaq was sent packing, maybe before that and this doesn't stop people from saying they're a done deal...especially with Kobe possibly on his way out.
The Cowboys are praying that Playmaker 81 can help Romo do a fairly decent Aikman impersonation so they can get that record breaking 6th Lombardi trophy. As for your organization, you decide to reward the man who made your franchise relevant in the latter half of the 90s and beyond by giving him a 'here's a one year deal, but if you get us far in the playoffs...we'll give you more money' deal that's specifically reserved for untested and unproven managers. Uhm, HELLLOOOOOOO this isn't Joe Schmoe you're dealing with. This is Joe F'N Torre. The man who's never missed the postseason in every year he's managed the club. Know how many years your team spent watching the postseason at home before it finally got back to one in 1995? 12! And the absolute best you can do for this man who not only got you over the hump, but spent four of his first six seasons leading you spoiled bunch of brats to championships can do, is offer him a $5M deal with a million increase for every round he gets you out of? I swear on everything I all, know and love, I'm going to enjoy seeing you rat bastards flounder like fish out of water for the years to come. And as a Mets fan, I hope Willie goes in the tank next season and Torre's number is put on speed dial. I hope Torre leads the Mets to success you pinstriped punks will never see again unless you're watching Classic Sports replay your World Series games. I mean, is it Joe's fault that the Boss lost it along with his health and got the great idea to go away from the roster building strategy that had the Yanks at its peak in the late 90s...instead going for high priced mercernaries *ahem, Clemens* and over the hill nobodies with very little left thinking they'd be the ticket to title #27. So much like the faithful in Montreal, L.A., Pittsburgh and Dallas...get ready for many a long night
where you hope for what will be and are forced to settle for what is. Get ready to suffer through what will assuredly be the first of many a "rebuilding" year for an organization that's going to be spared the bottom if for no other reason...you've got the Oh-No's and Devil Rays in your division.
To you Joe, I applaud you for having the balls to say 'fuck you and the horse you rode in on' to the Steinbozos and their half baked offer. I say you walk, sit back for a year and see how things play out. Oh and gee, I wonder how odd it would be to have Torre in Red Sox colors leading the Fenway Faithful over you spoiled brats posing as pinstripe fans. The humor in that would be too rich and would be the penultimate 'fuck you' from Boston to NY for years of the Curse of the Bambino. Say...what if the Yanks never win another World Series as a result of what they did to Torre? Does it become the Curse of Joe Torre? But eh, what am I saying? You're the Yankees. Never met a free agent you couldn't get and all that crap. Surely you'll find someone who can not only manage under the inferno with buildings that is NYC, the tyranny that is the Steinbrenner Regime (I hear in some circles that it's almost akin to being
a 'yes man' for Castro, although that's got better benefits) and having the
whole 'World Series or bust' thing to live up to who can handle all of it as flawlessly as Torre did for 12 years, six of those ending in the World Series, four of those six ending in World Series wins. Joe, you did all you could for that franchise what with the making them relevant outside of the 70s and all that, so give yourself a pat on the back. Have your news conference and enjoy watching this team become the train wreck it was before you got there try to right itself...which it probably won't.
So to you fans, when your team continues to spin its wheels getting no closer to ring #27, just keep telling yourselves you're the Evil Empire and you're the Yankees. Because I can rest assured knowing that I along with the rest of Major League Baseball's teams will have the same thing to say...
A Mets Fan Laughing At The Yanks' Stupidity.