ESPYs ain't got nuthin' on me
Ladies and gentlemen, I present:
Jade’s Suck It Up, Bitch award, sponsored by Midol.
This award will also to be referred to as the SKIP B award, in honor of the biggest whiner in sports journalism today (otherwise, we’d have to give it to him every time).
And the honor of being the first Suck It Up, Bitch award winner goes to…
Sergio Garcia, who saw fit to justify blowing a 3-day lead at The Open Championship (aka the British Open) by not only blaming everything but his perpetually crappy putting, but actually claiming that “I'm playing against a lot of guys out there, more than the field." In other words, I don’t screw up, somebody out there makes me screw up.
Riiiiiiiiiiight, babe. That guy who came out and raked the sand trap just before you hit your ball into it must have placed a ball magnet in the sand. All those putts where the ball grazed off the edge of the cup? Leprechauns knocking them offline.
(Oh, wait, I’d better not mention leprechauns, next thing you know, you’ll be accusing Padraig Harrington of rigging it all.)
Sergio, the only thing keeping your whiny dilettante ass from winning a major is balanced right on your neck. Maybe if you’d stop letting minor distractions get in your head and focus more on getting the damn ball in the hole, you wouldn’t have to keep making all these lame excuses and looking more and more like a petulant three-year-old. You want to be a champion? Act like a champion—and for God’s sake, work on your putting.
Know someone else who deserves a SKIP B? E-mail me at [email protected] and put “SKIP B AWARD” in the subject line.
Posted 07/23/07 by Jade | Filed under: The SKIPB Award
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