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Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat worms.

Hello. My name is JK. I'm not as well versed at this whole "sports" opinion thingie as my fellow Bastards, but that won't stop me from sharing a few of the sports-related nuggets that form in my brain, which I then slide into my bowels so that I may shit them out for all to read and enjoy. A little more about me...my turn-ons are: confidence, hygiene, and a sense of humor. My turn-offs are: rudeness, poor hygiene, and ugly people. Now on with the bastage-iz-ing!

Pro wrestling might not be a real sport to some of you, but it's very real to me--especially when I hear of poor, muscle-headed saps like Marty Wright getting the boot while out with an injury. If you were watching WWE Smackdown during the fall of '05, you no doubt got to see Marty Wright in action as The Boogeyman. The Boogeyman was a toothless freak that danced like a choking chicken, carried a smoking pole, and enjoyed sucking down a worm or two. He bulldozed through the ranks with lightning speed, squashing legendary superstars like Nunzio (aka ECW's Little Guido), Vito (formerly of the Baldies, also from ECW), and even John Bradshaw Layfield (aka JBL), who had just spent most of '04, and the first quarter of '05 as the WWE Heavyweight Champion. But it was during a feud with Booker T that Boogey's elevator ride to the top would have its cables snap--along with his left bicep--causing his storybook career to plummet back down to earth.

Apparently, the Boogeyman was only supposed to sit on the shelf for about four months to recover from surgery. But what was four months soon stretched itself to six months, and after repeated warnings to get his shit together for a return, WWE finally decided to pull the plug on him. No more Boogeyman nursery rhymes; no more broken clocks over the head; no more crazy voodoo struts; and no more Marty Wright.

Goodbye Boogeyman. We hardly knew you, yet we saw more than enough. Just remember, like "Crazy Joe" Clark once told Kid Ray, "You'll be dead in a year, son. You'll be dead in a year."

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Comments

There hasn't been much controversy about the addition of the pro wrestling category, but that's because no one's really posted much about it. But it's my site, so I make the rules.

In the words of Fry from Futurama: "I thought ultimate robot fighting was real, like pro wrestling. Turns out it's fixed, like boxing!"

Posted by Ron at 09/21/06 12:07:35

Hell, I haven't posted on wrestling because I'm looking for some stiff Jap wrestling to scare you gaijin fuckers with.

Posted by Rich at 09/21/06 16:40:21

I always hated The Boogeyman. Really, I did. Hated 'em even more that he was the reason Jim Cornette got fired, having to back this fuck up.

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