I'm probably going to seem like the Tuesday Morning Quack while writing this, but trust me, I make more sense. It's time for all the news you need to know.

- According to ESPN, The 'Boys just resigned Andre Gurode to a six year deal. As they noted, he was the number one priority to get locked in. (Yes, the center. Not Me-O.) Which means, in typical Jerry Jones fashion, he's going to be one of the highest paid offensive centers. Well that's until Len's fantasy of firing Coughlin doesn't happen, and they have to sign Shaun O'Hara to a comparable or higher deal. Anways, Andre is well known as Albert Haynesworth's Shoe Cleaner. This was found out later to be the receipt for a Denver Broncos style cut block to Al's knees. Gurode was later policed for this by Tuna and later learned that blocking like notorious cunt, Tom Nalen, will get you jacked up. However, as a 'Boys fan, I'm glad to see he's going to stick around to anchor what would've been a disaster of an offensive line.

- Also from the MLB side of the WWL, Bonds actually showed up at a spring training. He's actually healthy after his elbow surgery. He's also seemingly mellow after his contract agreements. He does know that the Giants will yank anything if he is arraigned on perjury charges. No word if Bonds will bring any "personal trainers" or Mexican pharmacists to be on the Giants payroll.

- From the legal front, MSNBC talks about Weis's malpractice suit. Charlie Weis's malpractice suit from his gastric bypass surgery in 2002, which started last year, was in its final stages of heading to the jury action. However, one of the jurors collapsed during the testimony of one of the doctors. Weis's lawyer called for a mistrial/retrial. The surgery team's lawyers argued that the trial could not be interrupted no matter what. The judge sided with Weis's team, and the trial was cancelled for the time being. It is unknown when there will be another trial attempt.

- More after the cut.

- Also according to MSNBC, Jason Kidd could possibly be Kobe's teammate?!! Strange, but true. Apparently, Kobe wants the Nets star as his number one man. He's not making a lot of noise about it, but he has been heard talking to them about this deal. According to the Nets, though, there's a small chance that Kidd would be traded in time. They want what most of the league considers too much for him. As one insider stated, it seems that the Nets really don't want to trade him, and that's why they make the price so high. If a third team gets involved to buffer some of the cost, then we could see Kidd in yellow and purple.

- It seems that Dominic Rhodes is falling into that classic Bengals foil, drunken driving. Rhodes who had a hell of a performance in ol' Super Bowl XLI is facing a hefty fine and possibly a bit of jail time after being caught in his GMC Truck running an 81 in a 55. In other words, even the crimes that the Colts get into are rather boring. He was co-operative with the police, and he will probably be released after an initial hearing. Other than a domestic dispute charge, he's not been the typical criminal type. It's unknown what the Colts will do until he gets in touch with the organization.

- Staying with the theme of drunks, it seems Dmitri Young has royally pissed off our favorite Marlboro Man, Jim Leyland. Dmitri is still whining about the Tigers cutting him, saying that the team left him out to dry because they thought he was a "problem." As noted if you go over to Babes Love Baseball, Dmitri was sent to the Nationals, and the Nationals promptly placed in him AAA. According to Leyland, he made the call to get rid of Young because of his status of "non essential personnel." Dmitri missed a lot of games last year due to his alcohol problems. Of course, after his tirade, Jim wished Dmitri well and hoped he got it together in Washington.

- From the SI NCAA Truth and Rumors, don't get too confused if you see Golic on a jersey for Notre Dame. You didn't wander back into 1981. Mike Golic, Jr. made his verbal commitment to Coach Weis to be an Irishman. In other words, this'll be one of the few father/son combos that have played at the same college. In other words, expect Golic to keep orgasming over this until the kid starts playing...

- I promise this is all from me, these last two cover one of my favorite international sports, rugby. On a personal note, any rugby fans that know where to see assloads of games online, contact me over email at jrichardbrown at gmail.com.

- It seems that the Australian Wallabies are looking overseas for their next coach. Their current coach, John Connolly is planning on calling it a test after the Rugby World Cup. Most likely, they're going to look inside the Outback for their coach, but if the Crusaders' coach Robbie Deans becomes available, don't be too surprised. In other words, Aussies, your Union team could be lead by a Celtic League veteran.

- Also, the teams in New Zealand hope that the conditioning exercises that the All Blacks have pulled the roster for are worth it. Without any All Blacks in Super 14 or Sevens play, the teams have been struggling badly. As seen by the NZ audiences, one of the teams went without a try this past weekend. The other two teams were dominated by at least one try (five points). Also, frustration has set in, massively. With two coaches being called in front of disciplinary committees, due to "disrespect" towards the referee corps, things are looking down at the moment for the NZ teams. However, all teams are taking this as a necessary evil to prepare to the upcoming Rugby World Cup.

I'm Rich. That's a my bastardly block of news.