An open letter to Michelle Wie
I get it. Really, I do. You want to be the first woman to make the cut at a men’s golf event. You want to go someplace where hall of famers like Babe Didrikson Zaharias and Annika Sörenstam could never go at an age where they couldn’t even dream about teeing it up with the fellas.
While I appreciate the effort, it’s time to stop. Really, it was cute and all the first five times you tried and failed, but it’s time to stop playing the tomboy and start, you know, playing with women. Let’s be honest here: You’ve never won a goddamn thing in your life. Okay, so you won the 2003 USGA Women's Amateur Public Links. BFD.
Here’s my hankie, babe. You’re gonna need this by the time I’m done with you.
You know what Tiger Woods was doing at age 16? Slaughtering everyone who stepped in his way in one of many amateur tournaments. He won Junior World Golf Championships four years in a row. He won three U.S. Junior Amateur, three U.S. Amateurs in a row, he won an NCAA title… He beat the best people in and around his age bracket consistently from 1984 until he turned pro in 1996.
All you’ve done, Michelle, is suck up sponsor’s exemptions on the PGA tour and gotten your ass kicked by the men. Oh yeah, you’re also getting your ass kicked by the women, too, including your peers Morgan Pressel and Paula Creamer. If you think you can play with the men, then why aren’t you dominating the women?
When Annika Sörenstam played with the men, it was after completely dominating the LPGA. She was the best woman golfer in the world, and it was only right that she take on the men. When she couldn’t do it, she still played with the boys at meaningless events like the Skins game, where she drove TV ratings and proved that she could compete. If she tries to make another PGA cut, I’ll support her wholeheartedly.
However, you, my dear giant Korean, are nothing more than a freak. There’s a one armed guy who can drive the ball 300 yards, too, but you don’t see him getting a free pass into John Deere Classic. I know it’s harsh to say that about someone almost 10 years younger than me, but if you’re gonna cash the checks, then you need to win, or you’re nothing but Dan O’Brien/Dave Johnson level hype.
Dan O’Brien and Dave Johnson were two decathletes who Reebok had hyped to the moon in a series of commercials. They were supposed to dominate the Olympics, except Dan completely sucked and Dave managed only a bronze medal after breaking his foot. Gutsy to tough it out like he did, but this is America. You either win the gold medal, or you’re a flop.
If you want to prove you’re ready for golf, ready to be a figurehead for a million dollar ad campaign, go out there and WIN SOMETHING! Otherwise you’re just a lot of sizzle and no steak. Image is nothing, girl, and right now you’re absolutely nothing.
With tough love,
Ron
Posted 09/15/06 by Ron | Filed under: An Open Letter To...
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Epitome of mediocrity: Wie's supporters keep saying that she has potentials; so does my hamster. If there is a sport that celebrates losing, this must be it.
30/11/06
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