Since it's going to be a semi-official list, I used my first two initials. Only three people know my first name, that being Ron, Jaime Sue, and Jade. All three know that I would buy plane tickets to hurt Ron, get hurt by Jade, and tickle the hell out of Jaime Sue if that was revealed. Anyways, the people want to know why make a big Rich prediction thread? It's easy, you have to go even further than the experts do.

Also, a big note. If you only knew the work that Ron and Jaime Sue are putting in for our six month deal. Over 14000 hits wasted here, and nobody from the Islamic Republic of Iran has banned us yet. So, when it comes to it, we're redecorating a bit... I would say that I'm contributing, but Ron won't let me near the back end of the site. The coding is all on him, and the design is all on Jaime. All I did was get Ron his coding material. When it's done, we'll look different for at least another six months...

Now on to the odds...

These odds are based on a few simple things. Most of the time, sites cover the fundamental basics. Sometimes they'll cover things of a sexual origin. Some sites will cover shit so depraved, you feel dirty for looking at it. Time to cover a few of those things...

This will be on the basis of Bears vs. Colts. So, the odds.

Injuries:

Brian Urlacher's STD via Paris Hilton vs. Peyton's Hurt Thumb. Advantage: Bears. Peyton can't throw effectively on a hurting thumb. Urlacher can hit all day. LB isn't that fucking hard, y'know.

Bears Defensive Line Injuries vs. Colts Offensive Injuries Advantage: Colts. Tommie Harris is still not coming back. It's so bad that Tank was allowed a permission slip...

Off the Field Issues:

Bears Baby Mommas vs. Colts Baby Mommas Advantage: Colts. At least they're keeping their Super Bowl checks intact. (Note from Ron: Colts Baby Mommas, man. Because none of the bears have been stabbed by their ladies.)

Tank Johnson's Gun Club vs. ??? Advantage: Colts. Do I have to say why?

Sex Cannon's Hooker Prospects vs. Peyton's Hooker Prospects Advantage: All Sex Cannon, all night. Unless the women are packing like Sex Cannon, Peyton ain't looking.

Lovie forced to sleep in the same room handcuffed to Tank and Urlacher vs. Dungy and ??? Advantage: Dungy. At least the Colts cover up their trouble.

Defense:

Lovie's Cover 2 vs. Tony's They're running a Cover 2?!! Advantage: Bears. They still have it.

Bears CB Corps vs. Colts CB Corps Push. Neither team is going to have an easy time.

Bears Front 7 vs. Colts they have a front 7? Advantage: Bears. Urlacher foaming at the mouth is still a good player.

Offensive Readiness:

Rexy: "Fuck, that's today!" vs. Peyton hyperventilating into a paper bag right now Advantage: Bears. Rex is looser than half of Urlacher's dates.

Cedric and Thomas crying over the ball vs. Dominick and Joe playing chess Advantage: Colts. Unselfishness is mandatory. Anything less would be... uncivilized.

Muhsin Muhammad pouting vs. Marvin Harrison pouting Push.

"Welcome to the Jungle" vs. "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" Advantage: Bears. And Marvin's creeped out now with Peyton...

Bears O-line vs. Colts O-line Advantage: Colts. His name is Saturday, Jeff Saturday. He leads a line that protects the otherwise happy footed Manning. He works for the city of Indianapolis.

Extras:

Paris Hilton and Skank Squad vs. Kenny Chesney Advantage: Colts. All Kenny did was gay sex. Paris and crew did everything else, badly.

Bears Hooker Totals vs. Colts Hooker Totals Push. Both teams got equal time, but the coaches found and hurt the players who tried.

Final:

Colts 34, Bears 21. May the best team win.