The Barbaro Conspiracy Files: Barburial
There’s even talk of Barbaro receiving horse racing’s biggest posthumous honor: full body burial, just like that little known and lightly regarded flash in the horse pan Secretariat. Oh wait, the little known and lightly regarded one race wonder in this question is Barbaro, whose only contribution to the racing industry was to break his skinny little leg on national television, suffer for 256 days, and then die after they got tired of milking him for his sticky white profit margin and wanted to cash in on their insurance. Why else would there be such a clamor for a quick burial without a proper autopsy?
Considering the fact that Churchill Downs is currently fighting to diversify its interests beyond horse racing into casino gaming (or at least a slots parlor at the Sports Spectrum off track betting facility), adding another attraction to the Kentucky Derby Museum is a good idea, provided they don’t go to great expense to build a shrine to Barbaro or something equally retarded. Better to stick up a statue or a plaque, pump out some Barbaro-based merchandise, and start greasing palms in the state government to finally give you that gaming license needed to break into the non-animal-based gambling game.
Slot machines are much more reliable draw than a year’s worth of media frenzy and a bunch of 40-something cat ladies. With Barbaro’s corpse, cheap tourist crap, and slots, Churchill Downs is sure to clean up amongst Midwestern housewives. I can smell the money, cigarette smoke, and yeast infection cream already.
Posted 01/31/07 by Ron | Filed under: Horse Racing
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