An Open Letter to Richard Justice.
If you're a Houston Texans fan who hasn't killed themselves when you realized that us folks in Tennessee have the better version of the Houston team, do so now... My uncle in Dallas sent me this nice little tidbit from Richard Justice. Richard, as a U of Texas alum, I like you to a point.
The point ends here. Richard trying to legitimize the sour grapes that the Texans made the right choice with Mario Williams by laughing at the Bush 88 yard game against the Bears defense. I have to say something to that.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Are you fucking kidding me, Dick!? Sit down for a second. Listen to what you're saying.
I'm sorry, Dick. Brian Urlacher affected by the clap he got from Paris Hilton is still 10 times better at defense than Mario Williams. Not to mention he at least bothers to read the playbook, you hack.
After the cut...
The Texans made the right call on draft day. Yes, you heard me right. I'm sick of people trying to manipulate the numbers to prove one argument or the other. In the end, the numbers tell the story. Mario Williams was the right call.
Take Sunday, for instance. Incidentally, who is telling Hillary Clinton she has a chance to be elected president? Sometimes I think athletes insulate themselves from reality, but politicans are at least as bad. Yes, Mrs. Clinton, we think you can win. Whoever is telling her that is the same person that's telling John McClain his videos are clever. Hey, shouldn't someone tell W. it's time to declare victory and come home? Who is giving this guy advice? Must be the same clown Hillary is talking to. I know, I know. I should stick to sports because it's the one thing I'm almost never wrong about.
Okay, never mind. As I was saying, Sunday proved that Reggie Bush is nothing special. He had one electrifying 88-yard TD reception. So what. One lucky play means nothing. Who can't go 88, make a couple of guys miss and have an entire nation going ''Oh my gosh? every now and then?'' Yawn. (Don't get me started on the showboating. Very bad. And with all the touchdowns that kid's going to score, he's going to make his team look bad a lot with all that showboating.) Besides, look at what he did the 10 other times he touched the ball. Nothing, that's what.
He rushed four times for 19 yards and caught six passes for 45 yards. Those numbers won't win you many games. Let's face it, I'd rather have Mario Williams roaring around the end, making quarterbacks uncomfortable. Mario is consistent. Oh sure, he made a couple of plays around mid-season. The rest of the season you knew exactly what you were getting with him.
Dick, did you happen to suck Charley Casserly's dick a little too hard before (and after) he got canned from the Texans organization? I mean, let's face it; that's the dumbest thing ever. Every logical fan knew that the real offense for the Saints was Drew Brees, Duce McAllister, and Marques Colston. Even Colin Cowshit has more fucking sense than that, and he talks out of his fucking ass!
Dick, and Houston fans, do me a favor. Next time you try to legitimize your bad draft choices in any sport except the NBA, don't. Spare us any bullshit. You gomers wonder why Bud Adams moved the Oilers here? Maybe because he knew that most of you didn't have any sense of... WINNING!
The tradition of Houston football teams fucking sucks. The Oilers only had success with Warren Moon. Of course, you pretty much put the nail in the coffin when you told the Oilers to like the Ass-trodome or lump it. However, you guys bombed that place out right after they left. Which we Tennesseans thank you for that, by the way. We saw something you didn't, an actual Super Bowl. Oh, and don't talk shit, Dick. We'll see it again real soon.
Also, we in Tennessee thank you for giving up one Vincent Paul Young. He's doing wonders here on a team that actually has a blocking offensive line. Like one of your detractors said, "They should change David Carr's number to 10, so we can say, Oh that's just DC-10 crashing and burning... again." Much love for that Houston. David Carr, hahahahahaha!
Kornheiser called you the best baseball writer he's known. How about sticking to MLB and avoiding football? It'll save most normal people the headache. It'll also save my relatives the asphyxiation from laughing at the gomers in the city of Houston.
Lovingly yours,
Rich Brown
Cowboys/Titans Fan and Consistent Laughing Fan at all Houston Sports, except the Rockets...
Posted 01/24/07 by Rich | Filed under: An Open Letter To...
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