Tony Romo: Man Whore of the Football Year
So it was pretty obvious that Tony Romo was once linked to Jessica Simpson, and that they reportedly had some kind of date. This made Tony Romo the envy of a lot of men, myself not included as I think Jessica Simpson is a moron and looks don’t always do it, and he could have milked this shit to the hills. However, he decided to decline and throws her away like she was yesterday’s news.
Now, according to a couple of blogs that I’ve been reading tonight, he’s being linked to American Idol Carrie Underwood. I’m not a fan of Idol but she’s alright looking, same with Jessica (I much prefer brunettes though).
What I want to know is…Why?
Is it because he’s the Dallas Cowboys quarterback and that by law gets you A list pussy? If so, somebody better call up Drew Bledsoe and give him Kirsten Dunst, since he looks so much like Toby Maguire in his Yahoo Sports photo (I know it was a rumor they dated though; don’t fact check me). If so, somebody better call up some whores for ol' Vinny Testaverde since he once did it, not to mention Quincy Carter. I didn’t hear of any of them getting pussy, yet this guy can’t seem to stop.
Is it because people think he’s attractive? If so, that’s understandable perhaps, but seriously the guy who was now thought to be the savior of the Cowboys is now their Achilles. He’s got both Terry Glenn and Terrell Owens pissed off (I’ll get to you TO if you keep acting like a fucking douchebag. Don’t think I haven’t thought of a sequel letter, Ron will tell you different).
However, I’m going to call it right now that he’s going to be screwed once he gets linked to either: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton. He’ll get near one of them at a party and the paparazzi will go apeshit and get them. Then he’ll end up on the Raiders. I’m calling this right now, give him about three to four months and he’ll be SOL. Everybody was saying Matt Leinart’s social life was over the moment he was spotted with Paris (Ok, that might be because he’s now in Arizona, but I digress).
I think all of you guys need to go to marriage counseling hosted by Dr. Phil since obviously something is wrong in paradise. You guys suck more balls than Indi does right now, and THEY LOST TO THE TEXANS!
Happy New Year, Dallas. Let’s hope you can save your season. Actually let’s not and say we did.
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