Pardon the Horn - MNF Edition for November 27, 2006
Rich Brown: Ok, Ron. First topic.
Rich Brown: Are the Jints done, or is there hope for Eli Messiah?
Ron Hogan: I think it's time to stick a fork in the Jints, because even if they can make the playoffs, Tom Coughlin is going to coach them right out of contention. Not that Coughlin is normally a bad coach, but the team has absolutely no confidence in his playcalling. When a guy like Tiki Barber, who has never been a problem dude as far as we know, calls the coach out in public, then that's bad news.
Rich Brown: I think Messiah needs therapy, a hug, and Archie to come in and kill Tommy boy. I think Coughlin is done. The Maras don't tolerate this bullshit. And you know even the Four Families will make him leave. If you don't know what I mean, watch the fucking Sopranos.
Ron Hogan: If he's not out this year, the Mara family has made a huge mistake. They've got a great team if they can get healthy, but they need new blood.
This is what we're burning on, and more. If you're an INSider.... Oh wait. Fuck that, just click the link.
Rich Brown: Alright, Ron. Jim Mora, Sr. Thoughts?
Ron Hogan: Well, let me start off by saying this. Do not blame Jim Mora Sr.'s comments on the radio station crew, okay? I don't care where you are, whether it's a high school radio tower, college radio, talk radio, MUCH LESS a powerful AM station, when you open your mouth and insert foot, run your franchise's star player down, try to defend your son's crappy game planning, you ain't going to be taken seriously by anyone with a brain. Anybody, all right? And that was a disgraceful comment, in my opinion. He butchered Vick, he really ran him down by saying that. Vick tries to win the friggin' game. In my opinion, that sucked! ...what's that? Coach killer? Coach killer? Don't talk to me about a coach killer, you kidding me? I just hope Atlanta can win another friggin' game!
Rich Brown: I honestly think that Jim Sr. cost Jr. a job this season. When it comes to it, the owner couldn't believe the pure stupidity that came out of Sr.'s mouth. He's playing damage control, but he knows that one or the other will have to go this season. I think knowing the owner has a lot of money in Vick, so Jr. will be gone. It's sad, but true. Sad, but fucking true. And Sr. has no room to talk about players that are coach killers. He kept around Jeff fucking George and his mullet and ran the Colts into the ground. The only good thing he did was convince them to replace him with Dungy and get in Peyton Messiah. Otherwise, I regard that old fuck with the same regard as Retard Millen. None.
Rich Brown: Here's what's burning my ass. The total lack of respect that Retard and the Fucktard Family in Detroit gave to Joey Harrington. He was their quarterback for five years. According to Joey, that's five years too many to stay there. What do you think the league should do to them, or does Goodell have the balls to call the Fucktards out on their stupidity?
Ron Hogan: Roger's not going to make waves with the Ford Family. After all, they own one of the original NFL franchises and he wants to stay on their good side. I do think, however, that Roger the Accountant could make a little suggestion that Matt Millen be gone at the end of the season. If there's a God, he's out. If there's not, then I sure hope the good-ish people of Detroit vote with their money and stop shelling out for Lions tickets, because that's the only way they're going to get the message heard since those 'Fire Millen' signs and chants don't seem to be able to penetrate the soundproof owner's box.
Rich Brown: Which I have heard that those signs get taken every week, dude. Seems the detail is ordered to take the signs by any means.
Ron Hogan: That just makes me wonder how many hours of Ford family sex tapes Matt Millen has managed to get his grubby little mitts on.
Rich Brown: Well according to our boy, Alex. The Scots are headed towards becoming an independent country... again. How much will the soccer violence escalate this time?
Ron Hogan: It was bad enough when they were an English colony or protectorate or whatever the fuck they were. I can't imagine a bunch of guys who drink that much will be able to contain themselves when they finally get their freedom after however many hundreds of years they've been a country colonized by wankers.
Rich Brown: Well, at least the drawn and quartered body of Sir William Wallace would be happy.
Rich Brown: Are you a Romosexual, Ron? Or are you leaving that to Chestica Simpson to determine?
Ron Hogan: I'm not sure if I'm a big believer in Tony Romo yet. Let's wait until next year, when defenses are actually able to adjust to someone in Dallas being able to move outside the pocket without the help of a crane. I know they've had a few weeks, but how many times have we seen a rookie or some unknown come in, play really well, then fall apart when everyone knows his tendencies?
Rich Brown: You mean like Eli Messiah?
Ron Hogan: Exactly like Eli Messiah.
Rich Brown: The Roid Class is going into the HOF. McGwire, Caminiti, and Canseco are going in. Are they getting in?
Ron Hogan: Hmmm, let me think... No, no, and no. While I think McGwire should be in, Caminita wasn't that good even when he was on steroids, and Canseco is far too big of an asshole to get in. Plus he'll never live down headbutting a sure fly ball into the stands to turn it into a home run
Rich Brown: I remember that. How did he manage to do that again?
Ron Hogan: I guess steroids make your skull extra thick and rubbery, just like a caveman.
Rich Brown: Last one, I promise. Michelle Wie got cut from another men's game.
Ron Hogan: Well, it's nice to know that gender equality is alive and well. Not only can Michelle Wie not make the cut at a men's golfing event, she also can't make the cut at a women's golfing event. She's a real trail-blazer for sucking on both tours at once.
Rich Brown: Damn, is that talent, or just pathetic?
Ron Hogan: I think it's a true skill to not know when you should probably just give up.
Rich Brown: I would say we'd do better next time. But we're already doing better than Bristol.
Ron Hogan: Then again, we could be totally drunk and out-do Bristol these days. Maybe that's an idea for next time...