An Open Letter to Reggie Bush
Did you have a motorcycle wreck you're not telling anyone about, or are you just a fucking retard?
I ask this question in all seriousness after watching your abysmal performance on Sunday. Now, I understand youre playing the Ravens, so your 5 carries for 16 yards and 4 catches for 5 yards are almost excusable, but what isnt excusable is your attempt to throw the ball through two Baltimore Ravens into the hands of a streaking wide receiver on a halfback option.
Listen, I know in college everyone sucked your dick, especially the white women. I know everyone said you could do no wrong, youd be the best thing since ape steroids in the NFL, and that you were the greatest running back in USC history. That kind of thing can go to your head, I understand that.
But seriously, calling you and that throw you made retarded is an insult to the mentally challenged everywhere, because your average person with a mild mental disability knows in a situation in which there are two guys covering your only option to throw to, you throw the ball away. You dont fucking play catch with two All-Pro Baltimore Ravens, especially if those two Ravens are Chris McAllister and Ray Lewis. Granted, Ray is only half as good as he thinks he is, and ¾ as good as everyone says he is, but hes still one of the top mike linebackers in the league.
Chris McAllister, for what its worth, is better than everyone says he is.
Hopefully, youve learned your lesson. Hopefully, you havent taken so many shots to the head like some quarterbacks for the Pittsburgh Steelers who I shant name, that you can actually not only learn from this lesson, but remember what youve learned for longer than five minutes and still remember how to chew.
I mean, I havent seen you throwing any dumbassed laterals lately, so maybe theres still hope...
PS: Hold the football with both hands. Its not a loaf of bread, shit-for-brains. Hold it like youd hold Matt Leinarts bastard child.
PPS: On second thought, youd better not hold Matt Leinarts kid. That babys done nothing to me, so I dont want to see the poor little fetus dropped on its head or worse, thrown to Ray Lewis.
Posted 10/31/06 by Ron | Filed under: An Open Letter To...
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