How I Stopped Ranting And Learned To Love Dell Or...(NBA Mid-Season Rant 1/2)
Subtitled: Blame It On Dell & Their Shitty Software
Alright, true story. I was all set to type my Slam Dunk and LeBlock-ulous NBA column when the software in my Mom's computer caused a system meltdown. So for three weeks, I was out of commission and ya know, it's a great thing. It gave me the necessary time to sit back and analyze well, everything. From All-Star Weekend in Jerryland to the Trade Deadline to the Best Player On The Best Team Award compared to the actual MVP award itself, which Big Stevie Cool aka Steve Nash is a three time winner of. So in no real particular order at all, I'm just going to write on what hit me as it comes to me, because that's what I do. Well, that and piss off the masses with my writing which has to be the truth or well...
Final Analysis (NFL Finale 2/2)
Alright, time to put the official "cap" on the NFL year since we had our Pro Bowl last week. The irony here is that this offseason, there is no Salary Cap. So get ready for Owners Gone Wild!!! I say this before I officially start, at some point in the next three seasons, I do believe we will get a Super Bowl where the host team is actually playing at home. It's inevitable people and to be real honest, I'm shocked it hasn't happened sooner. Oh, your next three Super Bowl sites you ask?
Next Year- Jerryland aka New Texas Stadium
The Year After (Provided Goodell Doesn't Strangle The Best Thing Going Right Now Into A Work Stoppage) - Lucas Oil Stadium, home of the reigning AFC Champion Indianapolis Colts
The Year After That- Louisiana Superdome home of Da Saints
It will happen at some point in the next three years, I guarantee it. Alright, so let's kick the ballistics here. I believe it was Nas who said...
So you went Platinum, yeah that's nice...
Now let me see you do the same thing twice.
So it's on this premise that I go on by saying, short of some serious defensive upgrades, I don't like the Saints' chances of repeating. I just don't. Teams that are heavily reliant upon shooting their way to back to back titles don't have much success. Look at the Greatest Show On Turf. They had just enough defense to keep Kevin Dyson inches away from the tying touchdown in Super Bowl XXXIV. Know what happened to them the year after? They were punched out in the Wild Card Round by...the New Orleans Saints. Irony's a mofo, ain't it? So let's get to it...
Who Dat? Dem Champs! (Len's Super Bowl Retrospect 1/2)
So now that 'The Game' has been seperated from 'The Truth', let's get down to it, shall we? I sat down last night, threw down on some chicken and a Roast Beef & Ham sammich while watching the entire game. From long start to incredibly quick finish and here's what me came out with...
A) Pregame's way too fucking long. Commercials are even longer. Halftime, oh, don't even get me started with the CSI Medley we got from The Who last night. I never thought I'd live long enough to see a band perform three different theme songs for three different shows all on the same network. I'm sorry, but there's not that much coincidence in the world.
A2) Was it just me, or did every commercial last night involving beer get incredibly dumber as the night progressed? Is it just me or was there something utterly oxymoronic about a beer commercial asking people to "drink responsibly", yet the actions within the commercial are anything BUT RESPONSIBLE?!
B) This Spring is going to kick ass from a movie standpoint. From the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street to the long awaited (or not) Wall Street sequel to next month's Alice In Wonderland... I can't recall being this excited about movies in a very long while.
Alright, filler time's up. On with my analysis of the game and ramifications thereof.
Separating "Game" From The Truth (Super Bowl Edition)
Before Americana gets immersed in minute long commercials and four hour long pregame shows, I felt the need to write something Super Bowl related. Not on the game mind you, but just some things that I feel the need to expound on before we crown a successor to the throne that the Steelers left vacated back in December. What with all the "hell" they unleashed, that turned out to be foreshadowing laying down for the Browns in Cleveland. To quote The Notorious B.I.G. to a point, gotta separate "The Game" from The Truth...
Better Early Than Later, Right? (Super Bowl Prediction)
So the Jets and Vikes went down. The Jets ran into the perfect storm that was Peyton Manning, the Vikes unfortunately were done in by a Favre INT late in the game and never got another shot. So for the first time in well, ever, I'm writing a Super Bowl column 11 days before the actual game itself. Why?
A) For once, I'd like to be early with something.
B) I think that for every soul that's saying/praying it's a high scoring affair, this will be San Fran/Denver SB XXIV turrible. Indy's playing the role of San Fran, in case folks are unclear.
C) I want to devote some time towards the NBA and by putting this next to last NFL piece out of the way, I can do so with zero lingering distractions.
The Grand Finale Before The Miami One. (Conference Title Preview)
Bloody procrastinitis struck again, but mercifully, Divisional Weekend turned into Three Blowouts And A Funeral Procession In San Diego. So given the storylines for this Conference Championship Weekend, I felt compelled to come out days in advance looking at each one and why each team should feel they're going to win...topped off by my telling you who will win and why.
AFC Championship Game
#1 Indianapolis Colts vs. #5 New York Jets
Indy's Storyline: We Were Right In Not Killing Them When We Had The Chance, Weren't We?
- Regardless of whether they win or lose, the answer to this question is NO. They weren't. Week 15, the Colts were sitting on a lead in the 3rd quarter when coach Jim Caldwell pulled his starters. All of them. Curtis Painter's first snap from scrimmage was a fumble that turned into 6 points for the Jets. The rest as they say, was history. Colts end the year 14-2, the Jets are now back on their doorstep like Benny Blanco from Carlito's Way ready to pop em' one time for the great time.
Still, why shouldn't the Colts be confident? The last AFC Championship game they hosted was against an AFC East team and they won then, they assume they'd have won Week 15 and ended the Jets' season. So what's to go against it? They've got Peyton Manning, the game's MVP for a 4th time and his motley crew of receivers that nobody heard of until Anthony Gonzalez went down with an injury for the year and Marvin Harrison's services were no longer required. Their defense is better than most thought or presumed and well...they're the Colts. Did I mention they've got Peyton? Alright, great.
Starbucks, Rocky Top & Roid Raged Rantings (Jose Canseco Approved This Rant.)
Alright, folks, it's the Takeover...the break's over peoples. Time to go off on random things within the world of sports, because if I don't...then the Four Letter Network will continue filling your mind with their FNC (Fox News Channel) spin shit and we just can't have that now can we? Now I give you all my word that before the close of Divisional Weekend you'll not only get my predictions on the Divisional Round...but you're in for a treat!
The first NBA column of 2010!!! (Oh yeah, Ren & Stimpy are jumping for joy right now.)
Alright to get with the proceedins' this mornin'. First up!!!
SB Fantasy Football Results
And another season of SB fantasy football comes to an end...thank gawd.
I cannot say that my team sucked this year. On the contrary, some of them racked up spectacular points on occasion. Unfortunately for me, those were often the days when I had them on the bench. Could have been worse, though; I could have been my son, who dominated practically the entire season...only to get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs and end up in 5th place.
(Trust me, I'm still hearing about this--and the fact that he kicked my butt all season long.)
Congrats go out to SB's own Jaime and her team, Solidarity Failure, for winning the whole shebang.
Final results:
1. Solidarity Failure
2. McNair's Condo
3. DaNiners
4. Fister Naked Lady
5. Flacco Seagulls
6. In Tebow We Hate
7. Team Jademyst
8. Victorious Secret
Despite this year's poor showing, I am looking forward to next season--if only for the chance to shut the boy up.
Lenstradamus Predicts The Playoffs And A Personal Super Bowl (2 of 2)
Okay, it's time for the rubber to meet the road. Time for the money to talk and all BS to run the marathon. Wild Card Weekend starts late Saturday afternoon with the Jets and Bengals in a weekend I'm subtitling...
Regular Season Redux
As every Wild Card game is a rematch from the regular season. Since yours truly is a full service blogger, I will give you the prediction on this weekend and what we'll end up seeing in Miami next month after the Pro Bowl. Wow, the last part of that sentence reads funny with the "after the Pro Bowl" part and all. Rather interesting that there were more Browns picked for the AFC than Bengals. But I digress on that, as it's time.
Vertically Challenged Teams & Other NFL S**t (1 of 2)
First blog of the New Year, may as well be on the NFL year that was, right? I'll go personal first with my thoughts on the Jets and Giants. Giants...first.
Midgets.
- Yup, I think that about sums up the second half that was for New York. After roaring to a 5-0 start, they went down to the Saints, Cards, Eagles and Bolts in succession. Of them all, the Philly loss was probably most disturbing. There was a trend there that I didn't catch until it was too late, both on the start and what followed. Only one win during that winning tear came against a playoff team. The four losses that followed were ALL to playoff bound teams. So the bye week comes and NY's reeling, yet still breathing.
The Madness Behind 1/4/2010 And Why...
It's Not As Big A Deal As Most Think.
Alright, we're four days out from "the date". Whoa, let me rewind first and give you the catalyst behind why every fanboy this side of Secaucus is getting ready to jizz on the first Monday of the New Year.
Ten years ago. January 4th, 1999.
At this time, yours truly was under the employ of Uncle Sam in the United States Navy. I can tell you where I was when Raw and Nitro was on, what I was eating (Pepperoni Pizza) and drinking (2 liter soda). In any event, this night lives in infamy for wrestling fans for quite a few reasons.
Craig James 2, Schools In Texas 0
I was going to do a blog on the impending 1/4/10 smorgasboard of wrestling, but this kinda takes precedence. Sorta.
Mike Leach. Here's a guy who reminded us that the state of Texas is not just limited to mentioning Texas and Texas A&M. He took Texas Tech from obscurity to being labeled the Little School That Almost last year, rising as far as #2 in the polls last year before OU out Texas Tech'd them. Apparently, as a testament to how pussified the world around us is getting, Mike Leach was suspended for his treatment of Adam James. Who's Adam James? Big play wideout filling in for the absence of Michael Crabtree? No. Perhaps a slot guy who was...no, no, NO. Let me put it this way...the most famous part about this guy, is his daddy. Craig James, ya may have heard of him? Part of the famous "Pony Express" during SMU's glory days in the early 80s, the last time that school was relevant before hit with the dreaded "Death Sentence" by the No Crap Athletic Association. Now mind you, this has been a banner year for headhunting coaches who take "tough love" just a little too far. Mark Mangino was given Das Boot in KU for being overly hard on his players, but since KU's breakout season two seasons ago...they've done nothing since.
Mike Leach was to college football what Mike Martz's system was to the NFL in the early half of this decade for the Rams. 8 times since he took the helm, a Red Raider QB has led the nation in passing. EIGHT OUT OF TEN. There's no question that he was effective at implementing his system and getting players who could fit his system (coughs Rich Rodriguez coughs). Meanwhile in places like Ann Arbor, men like Rich Rod are still struggling to implement their system. Hell, maybe Michigan might want to look into hiring Leach. So now, the Alamo Bowl has all but turned into the Bad Boy Bowl. Michigan State's got suspended players, Texas Tech has a fired coach.
The Wild Prequel To Wild Card Weekend?
Well, thanks to the Giants, the NFC playoff picture is set with its six teams. Thanks to some guy I never heard of catching a TD pass in last night's game, we now know that should the Saints win once, the road to Miami will logically stop through New Orleans. What isn't known, is what Plan B might be for some team's itinerary if New Orleans stubs its toe in Divisional Weekend. Well, that's why I'm here. It's ironic to think that two of the games we see this weekend, we might just see again one week from now in Wild Card Weekend. Arizona hosts Green Bay and Dallas will host Philly in the most important game in the short history of "The House That Jerry Built".
The Irish And Wishing Folk Well In Their Future Endeavors...
I'm back and well...where do I begin?
Here We Go Again...
- Another big name hire by the Irish, more folk in South Bend praying someone can get this right again. My Dad tells me there was a time as a kid when I was forbidden from watching ND games on his television. (We're talking late 80s here.) Brian Kelly leaves Cincinatti for Notre Dame and in a rather ironic twist, someone from Central Michigan will take over at Cincy. (Brian Kelly was the last to do it, Bearcat alum, say hello to your new head coach Butch Jones.) What do I think about this? Well...after watching The U on ESPN, I realized a few things. One train of thought states that college football's better when the Irish, Canes, Sooners, etc. are nationally prominent. The U appears to be back around after a few years in a coma state, USC's been back since Pete Carroll's come in and OU's kinda faded ever since Texas figured out how to beat them in the Red River Rivalry. Notre Dame's got a network contract, but then again, so does virtually every big name squad in the SEC.
Notre Dame is well...Notre Dame. It can write its own ticket and if it wins 10 games no matter what, they're GUARANTEED a BCS Bowl bid. I believe if anyone can turn this around, Brian can. Weis was nothing more than a coordinator with Super Bowl rings. He's proof that for every Pete Carroll or Butch Davis, there's always that one NFL guy who can't make the transition to the college game. Speaking of transitioning, it's...
Update Your Resume Time!!!
This is the portion of our ranting, where I take time out to wish folk well in their future endeavors since they're more than likely done with their present profession. Starting with...
Random Things Of The BCS & NFL Variety...
While I temper my enthuisasm about stopping my 2 game skid in Fantasy Football heading towards the playoffs, let me speak on this...
The BCS Goes "Classic"
- Thanks to Texas taking care of the pesky Black Shirts and Alabama shutting down (and exposing on a much larger, yet not as discussed scale) Tebow and the New Ball Coach... we've got a National Championship game between two traditional powers that we haven't seen occupy the same stage since I was...2? Wow. I'm old. :P Texas/Alabama should be very interesting and as much as I'd like to say the BCS got it "wrong", how could they? We all but conceded the SEC Champion would get one slot, Texas if it won would get the other. That's what happened. So we've now got...
