Buy Viagra
Skip to main content.

The Match We All Want

So, I'm watching the televison and I see Mike Tyson's going on a touring exhibition all around the world. He's retired from boxing, but still in debt. While I think Mike's nuttier than Jim Ross's pet coon, I can't help but feel sorry for Mike. So, the solution.

Mike Tyson: The Department of Homeland Security Enforcer.

For every terrorist that comes to our dear US of fucking A, Mike gets to feed his murderous urges and himself, if he wants.

We solve a problem. Mike pays off his debts. We're happier and safer knowing that a sociopath is killing other sociopaths. In fact, we've got a PPV already set up.

Sponsored by Budweiser, Everlast, and George Foreman's Lean Mean Fat Draining Grilling Machine... For the thousands in website attendance. LET'S GET READY TO....


Coming to OnDemand PPV in November. The long overdue battle. "Iron" Mike Tyson vs. "The Jihad Kid" Osama bin Laden.

Let's get a tale shall we.

Michael Gerard Tyson.

Age - 40
Height - 5' 10"
Weight - 245 lbs.
Reach - 71"
Record - 50 W 6 L 0 D (44 KO)

Usāmah bin Muhammad bin 'Awad bin Lādin

Age - 49
Height - 6' 5"
Weight - 160 lbs.
Reach - 83"
Record - 2K W 54K L 10 D

Let's hear what the boxing world has to say.

Don King: "It's the beating in Beiruit, the clash in Cairo, the stomping in Syria, the raping of Riyadh!"

The Ghost of Burgess Meredith: "God damn it, Tyson! Beat the stuffin' outta him, ya bum!"

Jerry Springer: "This is more entertaining than the inbreds on my show, and I get them all from Mississippi..."

The Ghost of Cus D'Amato: "For the second time, he does a service to his country. Don't fuck it up this time, psycho."

Sugar Ray Leonard: "Fuck you, Richard. I've got my own Emmy nominated show!"

Oscar de la Hoya: "Talking to me about boxing is about as smart as talking to MTV about music, it doesn't work."

Sec. of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld: "Hey, it's all death to me..."

Brought to you proudly by OnDemand PPV and the Sports Bastards.

(Thanks go to our Editor-in-Chief, Ron Hogan, for the inspiration. Halo for the picture. Don't jack our shit, aight?)
There are currently no trackbacks for this item.
Use this TrackBack url to ping this item (right-click, copy link target). If your blog does not support Trackbacks you can manually add your trackback by using this form.


Heh. Interesting. That's all I can say. Heh.

Posted by Luis at 09/06/06 17:04:52

Yes yes, we all love Ron. He's the best.

Posted by Ron at 09/06/06 21:51:40

Google execs Eric Schmidt, Larry Page and Sergey Brin [url=http://www.uggbootscheapout...]Ugg Boots Cheap[/url] have offered to pay the full $33 million cost of renovating Hangar One, a giant structure at NASA's Moffett Field in Mountain View that once housed Navy blimps. But as the San Jose [url=http://www.uggbootoncanada....]Ugg Boots Canada[/url] Mercury-News notes, there's a catch: the trio of billionaires want to use up to two-thirds of the floor space to house their eight private jets. The story notes that the triumvirate made the proposal in September; the offer was disclosed at a meeting [url=]Ugg Boots UK[/url] last week of a committee overseeing the renovation of the historic structure. NASA is reportedly mulling the offer over. The offer was actually made through a company [url=]Cheap Ugg Boots UK[/url] owned by the three men called H211.NASA has been in the process of removing the building's outer shell, which is riddled with toxic [url=]Uggs Canada[/url] PCBs, the Merc notes.

Posted by at 12/13/11 04:23:31

It's a good news that Cheap Ugg Boots Classical Short with new appearance is the biggest fashion statement for fall and winter of 2011. They could match perfectly with skirts or with shiny Ugg Boots UK tucked in. If you've been touched, buy Cheap Ugg Boots UK sale with free shipping and no tax now. In addition, the trendy Ugg Boots Classic Short can be cuffed down for a different look as the inside of boots are also filled with beautiful wool. Another reason for that is these natural fleece are soft and flexible Ugg Boots Classic Tall enough to support that way. Hot colors of Classic Short Ugg Boots include chestnut, chocolate, grey and black as they look great with most pieces from any wardrobe. When you are thinking to purchase the fabulous Ugg Boots Bailey Button but Cheap Ugg Boots to pamper your feet, Ugg Classic Short Boots are a wise choice. We have full confidence to make your orders here a pleasant journey.

Posted by at 01/14/12 21:31:48

Add Comment