Alright, it's the first of the month (get up, get up, get up, cash your checks and get on...) and I'm sorry. That Bone Thugs song kinda got stuck in my noggin, which segues beautifully into the first half of this piece I'm gonna spew on about...the Cavaliers. You know how they say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth? Why are the Cavs not only looking it in the mouth, but trying to figure out new and innovative ways to screw up its grill in the process? I mean, 2003, they're given LeBron James to resurrect basketball in this beleaguered sports town. Which to some degree, moreso than other more talented teams before him...he has done. But only the Cavs can look at this and say, "yeah, he got us to the Finals but the squad he used blew. I know! Let's get this thing shaken up by trading away pieces he was reasonably happy with and get some real bums in here." before trading away two starters from the former Eastern Conference Champions to get back...

Delonte West, Joe Smith, Wally Szcerbiak and Ben Wallace's Expiring Career. (I figure Bill Simmons has a lock on So and So's Expiring Contract, so I'm going there with Expiring Career.)

When this deal happened, I knew it wouldn't work. When you're giving away two starters, two YOUNG starters at that for three bench guys and one starter whose best days are well behind him...I can't see how this puts a warm and fuzzy feeling in the stomach of the guy you were handed in 2003. Also, when you consider the heartache and heartbreak this town's suffered in so many spine shattering ways over the years...I shudder to think what could happen if LeBron bounces two years from now. "But L, he's a hometown boy and he'd never do that to the Cavs." Oh ye stupid sheep, you're missing the point. He ranks his "hometown" as his 5th favorite city way behind NYC, his favorite city in the States. Speaking of NYC, Brooklyn's his favorite borough. Which as fate or what have you would have it...is the Nets' appointed destination if Ratner can get over whatever's stopping his arena from being built. (You'd think a man with that much money could clear such pesky things.) In any event, let me explain something to you Cleveland sheep who call yourselves 'fans' about why it's not even a styrofoam cup lock that LBJ stays put in 2010.

When the average rookie signs his deal and it's time for an extension, they usually go for the max. As a goodwill gesture towards the fans he plays in front of and the organization that drafted him. Until LeBron, Wade and Melo, nobody really took a short extension like these three did. With Wade it was curious, especially considering he has a championship with the Heat. Melo's never missed the playoffs in his career, but conversely, has never been past the first round either. LBJ's the main one that's got some serious gripes with his organization and their desire to put a winner around him. So maybe there's a chance I'm wrong about this and next season, the Cavs get it in gear. Wallace finds the fountain of youth and plays like the four time Defensive POTY he was in Detroit, maybe Z finds a way to still be 7'3'' with a shooting touch of someone half his size. Maybe this deal wasn't such a bad idea after all...or maybe it was when you consider the two starters you sent packing not only are still in your conference, but your division as well. Around these parts, the common gripe about Hughes and Gooden were that they didn't play up to their full potential all the time. Well, there's no better way to remedy that then sending them packing to your division foe so that four times a year...they can show you how wrong you are. Oh and just so nobody thinks this is an absolute Cavs' bashing spree...if the Cavs didn't make the boneheaded moves they made and all played out in that second round the way it did, I think the Cavs win that series. Gooden would've been able to at least keep up with Garnett and Hughes could've given LeBron a reasonable scoring option that Wally sure as fuck didn't during that series.

So now, you're saddled with four bodies, three of which are old and either broken or breaking down. The other is at best, a backup point trying to play starter. How does this team convince LeBron it can not only get back to the Finals, but win? Because if there's one thing that you can pull from this year's Finals, it's something that Bill Russell told KG a short time before the Finals he'd eventually get to and win. You can't drag your teammates to a title. You have to put your arm around them and they have to want to come with you. When I look at Cleveland, I see James having to drag 12 other bodies with him to the mountaintop. Know who else had to do that in the early part of his career? Kevin Garnett in Minnesota. Wasn't until he hit the age of 30 and was in the twilight of his career (not to mention started to show sociopathic signs that he might haul off and kill one of his teammates) that the Wolves got him some legitimate "help". Ultimately, the Cavs are operating under a two year window to either get LeBron back to the Finals and win it. But wait a second...there's his best bud to consider in all of this.

Jay-Z. Rocafella y'all, pa-pause. Yeah, that guy. The only other guy in Americana to make a diamond with his hand and have it catch on (DDP being the other and later, Larry Johnson in KC albeit to a much lesser extent as I think he only did it a couple of years back and then stopped), is LeBron's best bud. What's more is, they've been best buds for years. Way before Jigga bought a piece of the Nets. Now, maybe this is grasping at straws as there's many an athlete that can say they've got a hip-hop artist on their Top Friends list and you're right. But how many athletes can say they're so cool with a guy, that if they tell said guy they've got a beef with a fellow athlete or vice versa, that artist will cut a diss track and have it playing in a Washington nightclub the weekend of a playoff series? Yeah, betcha DeShawn Stevenson and Soulja Boy aren't tight like that...but Jay-Z and LeBron are. The Nets have the braintrust in place to get the scene set for LeBron's arrival, while having Jay work the friend angle in the meantime. Best believe that while the Nets may or may not stink out the joint over the next two years, the pieces will be put into place so that two years from this date, the courting can commence. Kiki Vandeweghe is a pretty good GM and if you'll remember, Rod Thorn's the guy who drafted Jordan before anybody knew he'd become Basketball God. By the by, I'm decreeing that whenever we talk about Jordan's PLAYING DAYS, he be referred to as Basketball God since Larry's commonly called Basketball Jesus (albeit unjustly in my mind, he only won three championships to Jordan's six and Jordan never lost in the Finals. EVER.). Say, I need to sit down and figure out who would constitute a Basketball Holy Trinity if ya will. If Jordan's Basketball God and Bird is Basketball Jesus, just who would comprise the Holy Spirit? Ahem, I'm drifting here. Anyway, lemme get personal for a second.

I've been watching the Nets for most of my natural existence and I'm gonna tell ya something, the average Cleveland fan can't even comprehend suffering the way most Net fans can. The Nets had to endure seeing the team get on the brink of contending for an Eastern crown in the early 90s, only to have its Croatian Sharpshooter aka Drazen Petrovic die. They didn't have to sit through YEARS of horrible, piss poor drafts (1997, Kittles over Bryant...still makes me nauseous) and then having Jayson Williams break his leg just when things were starting to get right again spiral the team into further crapitude. When Rod Thorn became team president back at the turn of the century and got K-Mart, then fleeced the Suns for Coach Killin' Kidd while making Byron Scott the head coach...it all got better. Then you had the two Eastern Conference Championships and well, granted having a silver medal doesn't make coming in second any easier...but after all the Nets had seen and been through, it worked for now. But then, Coach Killin' Kidd didn't like Byron anymore and had him fired while the Nets were in first. Then the Nets get VC, but can't figure out how to beat the Heat. Then the Cavs a year ago. Then Coach Killin' Kidd decides he wants out and not a moment too soon, so the Mavs get fleeced while the Nets get back a reasonably good point in Devin Harris and two first rounders.

Originally, when news of the move to Brooklyn broke, I was furious. I mean, there's only one other pro team in the state of Jersey that has the Jersey name and that's the Devils. As cool as that is, the NHL isn't exactly as big as it used to be and even then...they were the red headed stepchild of the state behind the Nets, Giants and Jets even as they were winning Cups. My initial thought was that the Nets would leave Jersey and then finally win a title. But then, I thought about...the Browns. No, not the Browns that everybody and their mama's riding like Jenna rides Tito, I'm talking about the team Modell took to Baltimore and in the process proceeded to infuriate an entire fanbase. If the fans had only gone along for the ride, in 2001, they could've been celebrating a Super Bowl rather than bitching that the trophy be postmarked to Cleveland. So word of the Nets acquiring LeBron in 2010 definitely doesn't hurt and well, my mind gets thinking. Given the Cleveland Theory and its propensity for working on certain ex-Clevelanders, what's far fetched about the possibility that LeBron comes to the Nets and gets a title? I mean, it worked wonders for Kosar, Byner, Ron Harper and others who were more or less hamstrung by a town's ceaseless bad juju. I mean, hell, Manny went to BOSTON and got a ring people. Boston was more cursed than Cleveland and Manny not only got a ring, but took four straight from the Yanks in the ALCS to boot. So yeah, I believe that when LeBron leaves Cleveland, he'll get his ring. I'm even more hopeful that he'll join the likes of Doctor J (who may have brought an ABA title to the Nets, but it's still a title nonetheless) in the annals of Nets' lore. :P

So imagine my surprise when last Thursday rolls around and the Cavaliers take J.J. Hickson over the likes of Joey Dorsey, CDR, Kosta Koufos (who I had going to Cleveland, think he could've been a great understudy for Z who's not getting any younger or quicker) or even Courtney Lee (Lord knows LeBron could use a shooter who can hit it and C-Lee can do it in spades). But to get a guy who I knew nothing about but when I read 'in a few years, he could be...', I thought one thing.

Man, it's gonna be great being able to rock a LeBron Nets jersey in two, three years time. I mean, hellooooooo?! You're possibly two years away from losing the biggest name to hit free agency in 12 years. You draft a freshman out of N.C. State that was described on a radio show I called in on Sunday morning as basically, a younger less defensive oriented version of Ben Wallace. Okay, for the sake of being Devil's Advocate, maybe he's a better free throw shooter than Ben is. Maybe he has something remotely resembling offense from outside of 10 feet in. Hopefully, he does anyway. Because right now, here's what the Central looks like going into next season for the Cavs...

- At present, the Pistons are still the kings of the Central. Still have the most potent starting five in the conference, just gotta worry about motivation and if they can stay motivated for the entire year.

- The Bulls should be better, but their success depends on how this roster shakes out during the Summer. Not to mention how well Rose handles the transition from the college game to the pro style. Not to mention how well Vinny Del Negro handles being an NBA head coach. Did I mention everything? Hope so.

- The Bucks. Buck Shot La Funk might be alive and well now with the addition of RJ for the price of a broken down Bobby Simmons (wasn't he like Sixth Man of the Year a while ago?) and The Chairman better known as Yi Jianlian. RJ solidifies a fairly good starting five, that rivals only the Pistons within the division and maybe even the conference if the parts gel together as they should. Skiles has proven he can coach, so a turnaround isn't a matter of if, but how many wins will we see out of Milwaukee next year.

- I hate to say this to the Pacer faithful, but it's gonna be a long Winter and an incredibly brutal Spring for these guys. The draft day fleecing by Portland didn't do them any favors and while they have T.J. Ford...they're essentially fodder for the basement now. Sad, but true.

- Cleveland will have a full year to see if this trade was really worth it, or if they just sealed this franchise's fate as being the team that let LeBron walk. I don't believe next year will be a good one for the Cavs, considering the extended wear and tear that will be on LBJ's treads after Beijing. I'm not seeing from August to October any real rest in between, so while he'll be ready to go...as the year wears on his body will feel it. He is human after all. Most of the key pieces outside of LBJ are getting older and don't have much left. LeBron's still in the same spot he was in before the deal was made, having to carry four other bodies to a title.

Maybe I'm wrong on this and LBJ stays, more or less agreeing to be the face of a middle of the pack franchise. Maybe he'll be cool with spending the better part of his career and prime, just playing out 82 games with the occasional playoff push that ends in the second round while his peers are competing for and winning titles. I know for me personally, if I were LeBron, I'd go. I wouldn't want to be a part of an organization that balked at getting Mike Bibby from Sacramento and elected to go for an over the hill, halfway to the retirement home 4 who can't do anything other than collect rebounds and have a really big afro in Ben Wallace. So it's all on Ferry and Dan Gilbert to make something happen to convince LeBron to stay put. Ante up, time to call.