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Stephen Jackson loves the whores.

Per ESPN: Stephen Jackson of the Indiana Pacers was slugged in the mouth, struck by a car and fired a gun in the air in self-defense outside a strip club early Friday, police said.

Words cannot explain my lack of surprise. Pick your own joke here, folks:

1.) The Cincinnattica Bengals have expressed interest in signing Jackson

2.) Jackson plans to join Ron Artest and 50 Cent on a world tour

3.) Chris Henry was quoted as saying, “Sorry about that, dawg. I was out partying with Odell and Koren again, and we had JJ Reddick be our designated driver.”

4.) “The only thing I ever put in somebody’s mouth at a strip club was my cock. It’s also the only thing I ever shot into the air at a strip club, too,” Patrick Ewing said after that stripper took the dollar bill from his mouth without using her hands.

5.) For once, Stephen Jackson was the victim of trouble, not the instigator.
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