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The Thirsty Traveler: Koren Robinson

In a shocking development, Koren Robinson was sentenced for yet another DUI. In other shocking news (possibly heralding the end times), the Texans can’t block anyone, the sun rose this morning, and fish can’t breathe out of water. Just like we predicted when K-Hole became a Packer...

Robinson appeared in Municipal Court in this Seattle suburb (Kirkland, Washington) that is home to the headquarters of his original NFL team, the Seahawks. It was the same court in which he pleaded guilty last year to drunken driving.

At the time, Robinson was given a five-year sentence that was suspended on the condition he not drink or have any other law violations.

Of course, then he goes and has another DUI. That means K-Hole is gonna get cornholed in the pokey, right? Of course not. Cue the outrage.

Let’s see, in his six years in the league, he’s had two DUI arrests and two violations of the NFL substance abuse policy, amassing punishments of five years probation (which he violated by getting arrested a few months later for this current offense), 90 days in jail (although half can be work release), and a four-game suspension from the League. How does the sentencing judge put it?

Judge Robert McSeveney, a visiting judge from nearby Kent, sentenced Robinson to 90 days in jail, and said he could spend half of it on work-release.

"There are certainly numerous violations," McSeveney said. "Given Mr. Robinson's record … 90 days in jail would be appropriate."

Actually, that’s where you’re wrong. A year ago he was given five years probation and told that should he fuck up again, he’s going to jail. By anyone’s definition, drinking and driving is an enormous fuck up, which means a certain fuck up receiver who loves to be fucked up should go the fuck to fucking jail.

Ponder this, kids. If you or I had gone drinking and driving with no priors, we might get probation the first time. A slap on the wrist, automatic entry into a 12-step-program, maybe 30 or 90 in jail, and some community service. That’s the first time. The second time? That’s when they bring the hammer down on you, because then you’re a habitual offender. I can’t think of anyone, off the top of my head, who is more habitual than Koren Robinson when it comes to offending.

Don’t think for a second that this asshole didn’t get off light because he’s a professional athlete and thus, is more important to the world than us piddly wage-slaves. Hopefully the next time Koren goes out to drink, his Bentley can become close, personal friends with the nearest tree.

Now, he hasn’t hurt anyone yet. Key word: yet. But let’s not give him the chance to screw up a third time and kill some people in a drunken stupor, okay? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your ass belongs in jail.
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And the best part of the 90 days in jail...the fact that he can put off the the time until after the football season is over. Like any judge would give Joe Schmoe off the street the same deal.

And here's my favorite quote from the sentancing:

"I know Mr. Robinson intends to comply," Fox (Robinson's attorney) said.

"You are not in a position not to comply," McSeveney (the judge) replied, addressing Robinson. "I would make it real clear to you that there is no waffle in that."

Way to be strong judge...way to be strong. You just sent a repeat offender to jail (sometime next year) for 45 days or so.

Posted by Spinler at 10/06/06 03:35:08

Yes, the judge has the spine of a fucking sponge. Someone with sense ought to see that judge censured and disbarred.

Posted by Rich at 10/06/06 08:36:17

This is Washington state. The fact that the judge didn't forgive Koren-hole entirely and fault the cops for racism is a small miracle.

Posted by Ron at 10/06/06 11:42:32

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