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An Open Letter to Wayne Rooney

Dear Wayne,

For the love of God, drink some fucking milk! You've got bones as brittle as a pensioner, especially in your feet, so please put down the beer, stop clubbing, and drink something with some calcium in it. Your country (and Ron's Premiership fantasy team) is depending on you to stay on your feet for longer than a few months at a time.

Sincerely,


England
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