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An Open Letter To The Dog-Gone Moron...(Michael Vick)

Dear Michael Vick,

Well, it's over. Checkmate. Game over. Fat lady's singing and guess what? Your career's all but over, son. And when I say over, I mean at this point, I don't even think you could go the Ricky Williams route and play up North. I don't think Canuckers take very kindly to people who torture and kill dogs as you're saying you have. And in the end, it's sad really. It's sad because here's yet another gifted black man who because he didn't have the mental wherewithal to take his bosses at their word and just had to stay "true to the game" basically got you played out of it. In a week from today, you're going to cop a plea, do some time and have your jersey become the thing which the ASPCA and PETA probably uses as crappers for their respective dogs. Cause to them, it's not worth shit.

As far as the Falcons go, this sets them back in a MAJOR, MAJOR way. Their franchise QB is done not because of some career ending injury that was inflicted on the field, but because of the worst kind of stupidity off of it and if Blanks had any kind of heart, he'd refund the monies of those who bought season tickets because they're about to suffer through something far worse than those dogs went through this and many more seasons to come. Anybody remember those really old school red unis with the black bird on it?

They may want to dust those off, because nobody's going to recognize these 'Birds going forward. Harrington couldn't cut it in Detroit and he's just barely got enough in Atlanta to be competitive. If anyone's possibly smiling about this it's probably coach Bobby Petrino, because he might just be able to tank so badly that they can get Brian Brohm in next April's draft.

Even though it has been six years, I think it's safe to say that in the Vick for Tomlinson deal, San Diego won. Now normally most would feel the need to rationalize this or even justify Vick's behavior. I'm no animal rights activist, but if what's saying really is true which Vick has all but said it is...I can't defend it or him. Check that, I WON'T defend it or him. He's more of a fucking moron than his brother Marcus and that's covering a LOT of idiotic ground. He's killed his career, the franchise itself was starting to fade before this what with his inability to be a quasi-consistent QB who could get the ball to his receivers (whether he had any to speak of is argumentative, he could have Jerry Rice and John Taylor flanking him but if he's running instead of throwing, are you really going to know they're there?).

To his credit, he was the most famous QB in Virginia Tech history, getting Beamer Ball to its first ever national championship game back in 2000 when they almost took out Peter Warrick and the Seminoles (I can't begin to state how twisted my stomach was watching Vick slice and dice through defenders during that game. If Vee Tech's defense was half as good as Vick was that night, the Hokies probably win that title game.). He's also the first QB in the modern era to walk into Lambeau in the playoffs and win. Nobody, not Young, not Cunningham, not even Aikman (who always had Brett coming to Texas Stadium) can claim that. He got the Falcons to within a game of the Super Bowl three seasons ago and eh, close only counts in horseshoes and grenades.

So it's over. One federal indictment plus tons of stupidity on Vick's part did the one thing most NFL defenses couldn't do short of doing what Vick did to the dogs on his property that wouldn't fight. They stopped him cold. His career's over, because if Goodell pinched Pacman for a year without any indictments, convictions or plea deals basically admitting guilt...I'm thinking Vick's about to get the Pete Rose treatment in that it'll be a cold day in hell before we see Michael in Canton. I don't think he was exactly Hall of Fame worthy anyway and well, this won't do him any favors.

At least the rest of the Falcons can put their minds back on the business at hand now, which is playing just crappy enough to ensure they'll lock down Brian Brohm in next season's draft. They won't have to wonder what if about you Mike, because simply put, they were foolish to do that from the start. The federal government doesn't mess around and as my main man Denzel said in Training Day, you are federally fucked now.

So congratulations on throwing your career down the tubes, all because you just had to be the kingpin behind a dog fighting ring. You'll never know what it's like to play in the Super Bowl, you may never get to go to a Super Bowl considering the black ball you're going to be put behind. Odds are Goodell will want you nowhere near his product after this and I can't say I blame him. I wouldn't want a convicted dog killer anywhere near my stadiums either, not with all the hell there'd be from every animal rights organization north of Pa-coi-ma (dunno how it's really spelled, sue me).

For every last moron who was actually dumb enough to support you, everyone who believed you didn't do it, *Nelson Munce laughtrack* you fucking morons. This wasn't a 'let's make an example out of the brother' or a 'whitey's keeping the black man down' thing. This was a really simple and perpetually ignored case of 'dumb ass black man does dumb ass thing and gets pinched, then has to bite the bullet for it'.

End of story. Do not pass 'Go', do not collect your one hundred million dollar contract. Dummy.


A Dog Lover That Hopes You Like It Doggy Style
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Len, you magnificent bastard, you said it all. Cheers from down in Atlanta where me and a select few are dancing in the streets knowing fully that this fuckin idiot is out of here!!!!!

Posted by Isaac at 08/21/07 18:20:00

Michael Vick was the future of quarterbacking, if by 'future' you mean 'perfect for the 1977 Nebraska Cornhuskers'.

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