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It’s a summer of baseball records. Barry Bonds is searching for home run 755. Craig Biggio hit his 3,000th hit and 1,000th extra base hit. Frank Thomas has cranked 500 home runs. A-Rod is trying to become baseball’s first $30-million-dollar man.

The most impressive record of all, for those who haven’t been paying attention, is the 10,000th loss of the perpetually hapless Philadelphia Phillies. They’re the first professional sports franchise to rack up 5 digits in the loss column (and they also have a cool liberty bell on their stirrups). That’s something to celebrate, I guess.

Listen, this is the Phillies. They’re going to suck as they’ve always sucked. The important thing is, if you’re going to lose, you’d better lose big. The Phillies know all about losing huge.
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